An Ode to Stephen Colbert
I wrote this poem for the Stephen Colbert Poetry Contest. (The contest turned out to be a vanity press scam. Man!)
Since Colbert thinks he's the center of the universe, I penned a parody of Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage." Enjoy!
All the World is Colbert's Stage
All the world is Colbert’s stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
Others have their petty exits and entrances,
But Stephen in his time has played many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in his siblings’ arms.
Then the Charleston schoolboy, with his satchel
And rosy morning face, creeping like a snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the teen,
Fronting a Rolling Stones cover band,
Made to attract the ladies. Then a young man,
Full of philosophy and pursuing his destiny,
Robust with honor, sudden and quick to improv,
Building his mighty reputation
In the Second City. And then the Strangers,
Their round bellies with sweet candy lined,
With morals to live by, the truth uncut,
Full of wise words and modern instances;
And so he played his part. The sixth age shifted
Into the lean and chiseled pundit,
With spectacles on his nose and truthiness on his side;
His youthful energy not spared, the world not wide
Enough for his intellect, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble of pundits
Less informed. And the scene of the present,
That carries on this bold, eventful history,
With both glorious wisdom and heightened oblivion,
He sees, he hears, he filters, everything.
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