An Old Struggled Love

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He sits and plays a true love song

While I frown he says tell me what’s wrong

I hate the things you do that’s what

You dance a smile with your strut

You have forgotten all you’ve done to me

While a picture you paint of me

Gifts and kisses you give to others

While searching for another baby’s mother

I do not understand the things you do

You leave my mind speechless with no clue

Is it a lost cause for me to think?

And carry all this burden and sink

Everything is fine when you’re not around

But when in sight I feel so low in the ground

Will I find the strength to forgive and forget?

Lighting the tip of my cigarette

Lifting the tab of my favorite beer

Hoping one day I will see love crystal clear

I know the answer to my very question asked

Which way to run, I ran very fast

When you said the three letter phrase

Holding me to my stormy haze

I don’t want to hear what you have to say

I wished for this day long time away

11 years for me too late

On my calendar I marked the date

I’m screaming from the inside out

Trying to find the words to shout

I wouldn’t dare to take that step back

To crash like two trains on the same track


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Comments 15 comments

shygirl2 5 years ago

Great poem and beautiful picture, bella. : ) I can see your true heart through what you write. Someone struggling to do what's right, knowing some love's are better left untouched, no matter how much it may hurt.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Shygirl, He struggled love is the ex husband and again he falls into telling me he loves me and to come home. I cannot forgive him quite yet. I think our past hinders what could possibly be. Idk if to just not talk to him period or just allow him to help mend his actions? Tough tough and tough....Thanks again this picture was taken in 2003. I was 21 years old sheesh a while ago I feel so old now!! lol

bella


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Beautiful Bella, All i can say is to follow your heart, sometimes people change, sometimes they don't. Best wishes Dear heart.

Smiles


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

gah all assholes must look a like. he looks a lot like my ex mauricio that cheated on me seven ways from sunday, or whatever that little saying is. lol


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Always, I dont know what to think I think I just know nothing else so it is just easier to refer to what was then to what is!!

Nikki, lol that is too funny maybe I may a gree with you on them looking the same. hahahahah

bella


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

well just remember some things fall apart for better things to come together. It ended for a reason. Just follow your heart. do you really think he is changed? see his true colors Bella, away from what used to be.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

away I will fly I know the outcome but id rather write on it then act on it!! :D


Bella Nina profile image

Bella Nina 5 years ago from USA

God, are they all the same? That sounds so jaded. Maybe I am.

Loved your poem Bella. I can feel it.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

love is so rarely a simple thing, I could feel your pain and confusion pouring out of this poem, it can be hard thing to try and forgive, follow your heart but don't forget to listen to the advice of your head at the same time... Good luck!


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

A great poem.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Oh Bella, what a Beautiful Couple you make...Great Picture...But your Poem really tells it like it is, sadly, but so very well said girlfriend.


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

It sounds like you have learned to be independent and propser without him. Love can be so very complicated. Do take care of YOU.

I love these lines - so visual and sensual too:

Lighting the tip of my cigarette

Lifting the tab of my favorite beer


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Bella, lol sounds so funny ha ha. I think they are apparently ;) thanks for stopping by.

Night, Love ahhhhhhhh that word see what it does to me lol jk. To forgive means to let go am I ready eyy maybe not maybe soon maybe one day!! Thanks bunches

Writer, Thank you!!

B., I thought so too but not so beautiful when around each other those were the days when I was Sighs**** in love (barf) lol thanks B.,

Sally, I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. Woo Hoo I earned my metal. I was never in 26 years never lived on my own or did anything on my own I left my grandmothers house at 18 then into his arms and he took care of me financially so now it has been the hardest thing ever Jinkies. Thanks all

bella


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

I never had the pain of that with a guy...but I have experienced it from others from way back. It is painful. How we separate ourselves from past loves is always tough. And it involves pain too. And love is always a risk, as there is always a chance of failure in any human endeavor. But we fall in love despite the dangers...because we are human... Great hub. Voted up. :)


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Astra, I totally agree with you. As humans we know no better than to notion with our hearts and believe what we feel and see. Not understanding or foreseeing the future and what it beholds thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts.

bella

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