Let Me Squeeze the Flowers
Good-Bye Sweet Ceci
There are times in life when words fail the only task they have. There are times when what is spoken by the heart refuses to be homogenized by words. It is then that we are reminded that words do not exist for everything we feel. We are, in these times, reminded that love gives greater allegiance to the heart than it does to language. Knowing so, does not keep effort from our want.
Our hearts can only gasp in quiet desperation as they scream without a voice through the invisible silence. How can words ever write completely that which they cannot read completely? Expressing now, how much we love you, that we always have and that we miss you, fails the heart that wants to say so much more than God ever gave it gift to say.
There are times in life when the tears that beg our cheeks simply fall wet upon the words that have no voice to carry what we feel. We know instinctively however, that as the veil is lifted, you will hear our hearts. You will hear them screaming through the resounding silence that once kept them wrapped in hopeless, insufficient words. You will hear them because where you are today, can speak and hear of even the whispers in our hearts. It is a language which God has given to the place where angels dwell.
We will grieve because the heart knows no other way but to keep on screaming. It doesn’t know how to surrender the want of you. If our hearts could have spoken, if love had not been left to the insufficiency of words, surely, it would have been enough to keep you with us. Instead, we listen for the whisper of angel wings hovering above our sleep. Then we will know that you were there, that our hearts spoke of love in a place where words do not exist, a place where hearts never again have any need to scream.
We are left with a haunting sadness, but even more, we are left with a garden which God has seeded from your heart to ours. As the seed roots, we begin to heal. Love tends to our losses in such a way. It tills the soil within our hearts with memories, it flowers our fields with lingering glimpses of yesterday and it blooms all our days without the need of season. God plants such gardens to soften loss, knowing that we will squeeze from every flower, the beauty that was you.