Antidote

Oh that I could hide what others deem vile intent


At night when making ready for my bed,

Or in the morning when I first awake,

My eyes are captured by the sight of corruption not earned.

The cruel marks of time and age

Written on me as on a too accepting page

A story that I can not understand

That in a space of far too few years has spanned.


To strip the sorry detritus from my frame;

The withered bark, the skin, lacklustre hair.

And deck my bones with supple flesh;

Press within these gaping sockets, those moist eyes

To exchange with others looks none should despise.

I know the remedy, the antidote, the magic formula devised.


So on the morrow, I take me to the public gardens,

And so I make my first encounter: a mother with her little child

I look into the basket as if beguiled.

Peer in and peering, my eager mouth grows moist.

Lean in the cradle where the sleeping child awakes,

And looks up at me with dark and lustrous eyes.

His misty view of me confused by the surrounding skies.

A halo round my bending head diffused,

A halo borrowed from Lucifer, my lord.

Angel of the morning, of light, not by time abused.


Lucifer

DiegoMaia  maia3d@gmail.com
DiegoMaia maia3d@gmail.com

Leaning low to better taste and smell the breath

That sweetly pours from out the mouth and from the skin,

And I, leaning beneath the protective linen of the canopy:

That gauzy shield that from the sun protected

The infant’s mother hovering there; has she suspected?

Her justly proud yet worried face

The infant lying there, my exulting heart beats at a faster pace.

And I, with pretence at adoration and of love,

Lean closer. Suck from the tiny helpless frame the antidote.


My teeth my tongue, my working jaw

Delighting in the nectar. Nothing tasted quite so sweet as this.

And I, rejuvenated by such a sly and furtive trick.


Each and every passing athlete and strolling youth

I shall by obsequious and charming perfidy

Bring to me with promise of innocent or profane delicious sport.


His innocence, he thinks, protection from vile deeds.

He holds within him what I desire most since I lost it.

The purest beverage to pass my lips. He has his desires. I have my needs.


Surrounded by, pressed in on every side, humanity

They are my game, my aim, my needs, my sustenance.

Their every desire to show off in their vanity

The foolish, silly mother in her trust, holds out to me

Her tender offspring, spilling over with that for which I lust.

I have my desires. She has her trust.


I am at a banquet; surrounded by groaning tables so prepared

A feast of youthful preparations, no ingredient spared.

And so I look around me, and everywhere I see

The medicine, the drugs, the linctuses that would restore me

I know that if I search that nectar can be found

In inner arm, a young child’s tears, in infant’s breath,

His heart, in lovers’ tears, in Venus’s mound.

I’d rip it from the Mother’s chalice even if it should result in death.


Here my eyes and mind rake the sight:

A strong and muscled supple neck

Rising from a youthful rounded shoulder

Along and to where a vibrant and pounding vein

Carries the bringer of my new morning:

Honeyed, scarlet vessel I look upon its beauty with disdain

To dart and burrow beneath the crispest locks

Till there, hidden in the sweet angle of the jaw

I’d sip and sup and sup again until I’ve drunk

My fill and how cheerfully I would ignore

His pleading that I should thus rob him of

That which he values not one bit: his youth.

And I would drink deeply from the fountain that he was.

His life blood, the fountain of his being, his youth.


And so I lie in wait, a somnolent and passive hunter.

My web baited and hung with pretty trinkets, baubles.

To bring the silly unsuspecting butterflies and tiny birds

Bright and sparking things. Soft, moist and luscious things.

The blood of youth; youth’s blood, so rapaciously to draw.


I have seen him so often from my window

As he strolled by in Spring and Summer days

Not quite a child; still not a man.

Stretched so tight and firm about him as if new made,

His skin, a darker hue or a northern shade.

I would take on the guise of the fabled Helen,

A Beatrice or perhaps an unsung common whore.

Rattle the beads at the doorway of my chamber.

Invite him in with promises of ecstasy and more,

A parody of connubial bliss

And bending to his full red lips, a kiss.

But with no affection offered or designed;

A feast for one. A lonely feeding frenzy.

From his youthful breast, his stomach

His tumescent inner thigh.

No lust! But deeply drink of that

Which he has overtly in abundance,

And I have not, for that I lost. O! cruel malady.


Make no pretence, my blade to stay or stop,

And if that youthful harridan had just one drop

Of that which my thirst desired, I’d suck it dry, and not restrained.

A philtre created in the cradle where youth stands.

A philtre created for myself; a love potion for myself alone.

From where’re it lies: in pretty cheek; in breast; in thigh.

Or where else it lay, and then, satiated for the present,

Discard the empty husk that I had drained.


And mindful of myself and of my needs,

Remembering that I must still fight to reverse

The ravages of age, of time, the curse.

Would search eternally for that which breathes or bleeds.


Cirel van der Haegen
Cirel van der Haegen

I have seen a nest of rabbits, freshly born

In sweetest hay; their mother’s stomach hair so lined.

My trembling hand would reach inside,

Drink the youth and prettiness of their newborn souls

Turn them up towards the light,

Each a glass of sun warmed ruby wine.

Then drain them to the lees.

Capture within my mouth and throat

Their loveliness. Their elusive and vital part.


I would snatch fledglings from their nest, the bough, the air

And drain their miniscule hearts of the scarlet fluid there.


Then rush to looking glass and scan my image within,

And is my eye a little brighter? And my skin?

My skin; translucent? A little softer? Tighter perhaps?

My lips seem fuller, or could it be the light?

Perhaps more red.Is there more to what you said?

Or are they thus where I had fed, where others bled.


You see me in the public gardens, on the bench

In early evening sunshine, quite alone.

But if you should draw near, ignore the stench.

‘Tis not the smell of putrefaction or advancing age.

The youth who lies behind, half under leaves and grass.

His face is white or is it grey?

Cold, the colour and the feel of polished stone.

But I look younger, do I not? Look younger than the day before?

Or have you forgot?

Or should I still go out perchance and gather in the harvest a little more?


More by this Author


Comments 96 comments

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You act to distract

Then extract

The exact

Devil’s contract

In your wake

Life’s artefact


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I take it that you love the poem and are going to have it embroidered on your favourite Auntie's comforter? Is that the idea Mike?

Petit point would look nice. I'm not sure how long it would take to finish. Would the Old Dear survive long enough?


steve of ian fame profile image

steve of ian fame 5 years ago from Essex

If you trade with the devil then this is what you get then?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Never having come to any sort of arrangement with Shaitan, Steve, I cannot comment.

However, someone once asked me to sell my soul (or some other part of my anatomy) to him, but I honestly can't remember whether I signed on the dotted line.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

This is frightening and eerie stuff, a day in the life of a blood sucking fiend just in time for Halloween! But I have to ask about the skull, did you just happen to have that laying around the house or what? Love the paintings, photos, really great piece Twilight Lawns.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you. snakeslane, I think you really understand this poem. And no, I didn't have this particular skull hanging around but there might be a few in the back garden. I had a tenant once who annoyed me because he wouldn't recycle properly, so I recycled him.

Please don't tell anyone.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Never again will I drink red wine.

Awesome


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I am kind of scared right now..but since I am not a child I think I am safe..Really scarey Ian..perfect timeing for Holloween...now I will sleep with my light on..Oh did this skull come from your recent bathroom renovation people? hummm are you sure you fired them

Sunnie


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

I'm commenting again because I neglected to mention the deft use of language in your poem, the gothic tone "to strip the sorry detritus from my frame" "his tumescent inner thigh" "a philtre created in the cradle where youth stands" and on and on, words fail me. I am just so happy that in this instance time is on my side and I would be immune not having any of that potent antidote you crave!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

It gives a new concept to the term "domestic" wine doesn't it, Rosemay? Thank you for the visit, and than you for the "awesome".


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thanks for the visit, Sunnie. I have to admit that the "thing" unearthed had: "If found, please return to Greg" stamped on its base.

I don't think he's going to need it. it was empty, anyway.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Snakeslane, you really, really got it, didn't you?

Thank you for you lucid and witty response. Much appreciated.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

wow twilight. should I be scared of you? are you going to eat my youth? I feel it fading fast. this was very dark of you. eating babies and bunny rabbits! oh dear. what kind of monster are you here but death its very self? really good writing, that of an Edgar Allen Poe. You let us see a different side of you here.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

For Heaven's Sake, wingman, couldn't you just have had a face lift like the rest of us!!!

On a more serious note ... deeply impressed by this, dearheart!

Phyllis.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Your first sentence was priceless. Thank you for making an old roué fall about laughing like several schoolgirls.

Glad you liked it, Phyllis.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Any luck in selling the cottage?

Days like this are perfect for showing people around houses that you want to sell.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

When I was about 8, I remember going to a midnight horror movie on Halloween night, to be scared, of course. These were usually starring Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney, etc. But this one starred unknowns.

The title was "The Vanishing Corpse". The gothic horror story line was about the old lady who had to drink the blood of a young bride who had just died (I think her henchmen saw to that detail) in order to keep her youthful appearance. So whenever it began to fade, she'd have to have another 'fix" and the whole dreadful scenarios would begin again, with me burying my face so as to not see it all.

I was more terrified of that horror than I was of "Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hyde", "Frankenstein"," The Apeman" or even "The Phantom of the Opera" (which was pretty scary, too - about a disfigured man getting his fixes vicariously from the young).

So, be assured, your poem sent chills all over me and I almost buried my face to spare myself the horror of it all. Masterful writing and imagination. (isn't it? g-g-g-gulp - - )


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

You never know, Nellie, where I will turn when the Botox becomes too expensive, So far I have Streatham Common to go to on nice Indian Summer days like these, but when the weather becomes a little inclement. perhaps I will have to look further,

Maybe I can do some voluntary work in schools. I'm a good teacher, and I might have something to offer... and they might reciprocate (either willingly or otherwise).

Ha ha ha!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Dear Angie, I am STILL laughing at your comment.

Thank you.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

My favorite Auntie sends her love.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Give her my love in return, and say that if she's interested, I have a rather interesting recipe to share with her. If she can get the ingredients, and if she's up for it, I'll escort her to the Prom this year.

OK?


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

We talk’n Corsage, chocolate malts, a walk behind the stadium? Does your recipe call for you getting fang distance?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

No. I thought we could meet up with a couple of undergrads and take them out... The ultimate in Takeaway dining, Yeah?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

If I remember, your dear old sainted Aunt thought that the Prom King and Queen were perfect for a double date. She told me she thought he, the Jock, was quite tasty looking, and I felt that the Cheer Leader looked really sweet. I'll have to watch my calories and remember to floss after we meet.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Are you redefining the entire "TAKE OUT" industry?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

In a nutshell, yes!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Auntie wants to know why you get the Cheer Leader?!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Tell Auntie I'm ambivalent but I thought I wouldn't like to put myself out on a limb too much.

You can also tell Auntie we'll swap if she likes.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I don't wish to interpret this, she says 'she doesn't care who she lords it over'.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I think I have another hub in the making. I was chatting to a chum (Steve of Ian fame) and the police have come (half past one in the morning) wanting to know the whereabouts of some friends who stayed here for a few weeks on and off. The police came to notify my friend that her car, which had been stolen had been found.

Note well. Two policemen do not come looking for people late at night unless something dodgy is going on.

Tell your Auntie that if she wants to be a Gangster's Moll, there's a place open for her.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Steve has become notorious. Looks like the Police are on to you. Time to duck over to Scotland. Stay safe.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I can't find my passport, so Scotland's out of the question.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

A lost passport is serious stuff. How are you going to get out of Italy? I've requested a Yellow Rolls Royce to travel in.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

To a nefarious gangster like you, traveling (illegally??) sans passport ought to be child's play (if you haven't drained them all of vital juices). Then there's the matter of whether or not you're pulling legs of trusting Texas fans about needing a passport to go from London to Scotland? Aha! Please tell me it would be just to furnish your photo ID! Or has Scotland seceded from the UK? ---

Oh, now I see, - - you'd be traveling from Italy? - or - uh -- duh - (how do those little Italians taste?) In any case, - see my point? For such a criminal as yourself, a passport must be a minor obstacle. . .

(But I have heard that they're really fussy about ID for driving the tunnel if you're to drive all the way from Italy to London and/or Scotland in Mike's yellow RR.)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hmm! Yellow, but I suppose it would help. I have been driven in Italy, but never had the guts to. They seem to be able to manage to get the widest Lamborghini through the narrowest lanes with hardly a scratch (Notice that I said "hardly").

Didn't that Jesus bloke say that it would be easier for a rich man to drive his Lamborghini along the Via Veneto at eleven o'clock in the evening than the Pope to get back into the Vatican after Matins, unless the rich man was an Italian?

Or am I mixing up my scriptures?

I'm not sure if I want to leave Italy anyway. I'm not sure what Svetlana has planned for us, but whatever it is, I don't want to miss out on it.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Actually, Nellie, you are right. Passport control between England and Scotland is difficult enough, but one needs a Visa to get back into Norbury-sur-Mer from the rest of the United Kingdom.

Did you say, "nefarious" gangaster or did i perhaps hear Nosferatu Prankster?

Driving through the Channel Tunnel and through the Colle san Bernardino or the Colle del Piccolo San Bernardo is all good fun. It's like driving at night, and it's my favourite time.

The Italian Ragazzi are delicious... all those fresh, sunripened tomatoes, olive oil, garlic and parmiggiano.

Buono e delizioso!!!

Actually, I have a lot of trouble having my photo taken for passport. But it could be worse, my cousin always takes a bad photo... For some reason the picture turns out to be a blank. All we see is the chair he is sitting in, and a nice Italian suit, silk shirt and tie. Poor Wladimiro.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I am prenty sure you nailed that scripture thing, as I recollect. I am glad I did not think to recommend a Lamborghini, becasue I would have had to look up the spelling and buy the extra insurance. The vintage Rolls should suit our purpose.

Svetlana has to finish up a project before we can depart.

I carried a temporary International Drivers Card in Italy, never had the courage to put my family at risk in that unfamiliar location.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Mike I have been the the oldest and most beautiful villages in Italy with narrow roads and leaning walls, and have seen cars drive so fast through them so fast and in a manner that I just cannot imagine possible.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

TL when we arrived a car picked us up at the airport to take us to our rented apartment in Rome. All four corners of the car were dented. Driving from the airport into the city almost every car I saw had four corners dented on their cars. Not a good sign.

Hop over to Beck's she is mustering votes for a Hubpage 'nugget' I think she said.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow (about 10:30) because I am going in search of a down-lighter for my kitchen because the electrician is going to install it. I was thinking of asking Pamela and Greg to do it for me, but I think they are dead, (Well I hope they are, I paid enough to take out a contract on their respective lives... Becks tomorrow)


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Does one end up with an obese conscience? I'll take you out to dinner, with stake on the menu.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Brilliant, Keith.

I'm glad you said dinner. I don't go out until after dark. And so long as the silver is only the cutlery and not a bullet.

Your comment made me laugh... I mean LAUGH!!!


Christine Nash 5 years ago

YES, I HAVE READ CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE'S 'DR FAUSTUS' TOO - - - - -

- - AND YOU HAVE CAUGHT THE LONGING / THE DESPERATION OF AND FOR THE LOST-NESS OF YOUTH - OF HEALTH - OF BEAUTY.

YOU HAVE ENSHRINED THE DESPERATE ENVY, THE FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION, PANIC AND ISOLATION THAT COME TO SO MANY WHEN THEY SUDDENLY REALISE THAT THEY HAVE LOST WHAT IS NOT APPRECIATED BY THOSE WHO HAVE IT STILL - THE RICHNESS AND ENERGETIC FULNESS OF YOUTH.

YOU BREAK MY HEART AND MOVE ME TO A MIST OF TEARS.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL AND MOVING POEMS THAT YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN.

HUGZZZZ,

XMTN

XOXOXOXO


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Dear Christine, And of everybody on this planet, you know my writings and me, I think, better than most, if not all.

Thank you again.

By the way, who is this Christopher Marlowe bloke? Did he go to college with us? And who's this Doctor Faustus? Is he a super hero, like Captain Marvel? I haven't read the book you are referring to... maybe I'll go when they make a movie out of it. I hope it's like 'Avatar' or the 'Twilight' series.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

M-m-- that menu sounds delectable, Ian. And Italian vegetables are reputed to be extra tasty and the spices and condiments unequaled!

As quite possibly the eldest or one of the eldest hubbers present, I'd like to speak up for my age group and assure that not all of us are fraught with youth-envy, drying-out parts, desperation, desolation, depression and a sense of doom and futility for having successfully beat the odds and continued, appreciably better adjusted and somewhat wiser, as well as freer of many of the limitations of earlier years and times.

Personally I wouldn't trade for the uncertainty, confusion, tenuous self-identify (and often glaring lack of self-value), peer pressure, parental and sibling intimidation and control, unreasonable fear and reactionary defiance, and now - added to the usual stew pot of youthful experience these days - rampant bullyism, fearsome fatal temptations from drugs to self-mutilation and pressure to submit to cosmetic surgery before their bodies have finished maturing and to engage in self-starvation to be thin, as well as the actual possibility of being gunned down by a fellow-student or raped by a trusted teacher or religious mentor. Just a few of youth's less desirables and only on individual levels. They have my sympathy.

Age frequently wins out over many of such pitfalls and needn't accept a sentence to shrivel or die from it on the spot. Healthy attitudes and habits can prolong one's life in amazingly good condition and/or give it dignified closure when needed or reasonable. Choices make differences, not years.

Speaking of choices, Ian - you're wise beyond your years, I'm sure, to avoid driving in Italy, though anyone who can maneuver the British roundabout has my undying respect and admiration. It fully intimidated me and kept me on the passenger's side of vehicles while there. wink, wink ~


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, I want you to know that you are not even close to the catchment area that you mention. You have charm, youth, class, charisma, intelligence, intellect and an absolute plethora of attributes which make you the envy of me and of many, many people on HubPages.

I was just writing an e-mail to the person above, Christine Nash. And I am sure that your ears must have been burning because I was extolling your capabilities, your conversation, your poetry and all the wonderful things that go to make up Nellie Anna Hay.

I only miss my youth when I am taken unawares when in public and I pass a shop window or a looking glass, and I see a seventy-two year old man bumbling along using a walking stick, and my mind cries out because I cannot see the image of myself that I am expecting because he stands between the nineteen year old person who I still am inside.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello TL, so I'm not the only one that passes a mirror and asks, "Who the heck are you?" Good morning. And allow me to agree with you regarding Nellie Anna, she is charming and witty. It is a pleasure to read her poetry and comments.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

And a lovely lady, to boot. (Not that I have been known to boot too many lovely ladies).


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

'Hear, hear'


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Thank you, sweet Ian (and Mike), for such lovely praise - and I know it is sincere. I love hearing it, and yes, I do know that what you say is true! I live with me. I can't get by with much delusion. I might need that booting at times, but if all else fails, that mirror is so utterly honest and I'm not yet to the point of banishing all of them. ;-> (mirrors or boots!)

So I do need to explain that my response was not in defense of my own sensitivity to my age or passing of youth, since I have it well in hand and am not defensive in my own behalf. And as the years continue to pass, I expect there to be new challenges and issues to be addressed, to which I honestly look forward! Yeah! The years and challenges that have passed didn't just happen and work out as they have without attention and choices. It's partly one's own reception of them which makes them turn out one way or the other, which is what does concern me when younger folks fall into a mindset to expect their years to bring them the worst possible things. That the worst is a possibility really is something to consider, but in no way something to be expected as inevitable.

If I have anything to share with others entering the golden years now or in their future, it is that it is not some sentence to rapid senility to be dreaded and accepted as 'cruel fate'. When negative possibilities are either over-emphasized or trivialized without mentioning a balance of available better choices, there's strong tendency to associate & to link the 'golden years' with those unpleasantries and then,- unfortunately, - a strong likelihood of expectation of them as inevitable, almost a self-fulfilling prophecy, in fact; -- & one I've seen too often in the lives of some beloved friends and family.

Expecting the worst tends to make way for the worst. And I've also seen examples of the reverse: - expecting better tends to make way for better. My dad belonged to the first group expecting the worst and my mother to the latter, expecting the better and each got pretty much what was expected with the coming of old age. In each case, there were possibilities of either outcome, by the way. Much of their difference was in attitude.

That was my motive in bringing up the other real possibility, and, similar to my mother, that I am proof of it. I hope I can be forgiven for the lapse into sounding critical or like I was 'tooting my own horn'. (Though I've heard that 'she who tooteth not her own horn getteth it not tootethed." grin)

I dearly love humor and engage it it constantly. As you've heard, I laugh heartily and meet things with a great deal of humor. It's one of the best ways to deal with many of life's vicissitudes. I didn't set out to rain on the parade of making humor of agedness, though I've also noticed that with humor, there's a kind of built-in immunity to many otherwise firm and inarguable rules of courtesy, wisdom, grace, kindness, & responsibility for long-term effects, which encompasses and affects almost all areas in which human conditions and differences are involved, -- upon which most humor is based in some way or another. Effects are unmeasurable; but possibly are actually immeasurable. There's only one time to consider its effects: when the humor is initiated.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

What a lovely comment. i loved it, and would not insult you by trying to emulate it in its crispness and truth. Enough to say. my very dear friend. this made me laugh out loud: "'she who tooteth not her own horn getteth it not tootethed. grin" and I'm still grinning!!!

Can you remember me telling you that I loved the sort of "bending time" movies? During the last few days my neighbour has come in in the evenings and we have watched:

'Prelude to a Kiss'

'The Time Traveller's Wife' (Please excuse the speling (Ha ha ha!)

'Frequency'

'Déjà vu'

And apart from that I have been trying to collect some electrical bits and pieces... it has been so complicated I could almost write a hub as lengthy as my 'Small bedroom into a bathroom' hub'.

Big hug, my friend (and in case he feels left out) a big hug for Mike... I'm European, Mike we do all that here.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Ah, I was wondering if I'd be booted out of the corps. Thank you for sparing my hide AND my commission!

I do remember you told me you loved that sort of movie. I have only one you listed, "Prelude To A Kiss". Perhaps I'll watch it tonight. I know I'd like "Time Traveler's Wife" (no problem with your British spelling but if I use it, my spellchecker highlights it in RED!) I've seen previews of it and know I'd like it. I have "Somewhere In Time" which has some of that aura, as well as "The Lake House" which also does.

I've already watched "Signs" twice and am beginning to feel part of it. It's quite a movie. I'm sure I'll be watching it more times.

I've also watched "Love With A Perfect Stranger" for the umpteenth time since I've owned it. It's such a favorite mushy love fantasy and the scenery in Italy (especially Rome) and Ireland is breathtaking. I just love Daniel Massey. He's such a charming oddball. And if I were a guy, Marilu Henner would surely be irresistible. They seem like an unlikely pair but - - well - the movie sizzles. I've never found it in DVD but have the VHS tape.

I see it's on u-tube in 7 parts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkvfCDJGC2w First segment, first scene is set in Sicily. The music is pleasant, too.

Another old favorite with a more sinister slant is "Moment To Moment" - black and white, also set in Italy, made in 1965. I go way back with that one.

This day has been dominated by news of a gigantic chemical plant explosion and fire south of Dallas in Waxahachie, Texas. It's even made national news this evening. The cloud and flames have been so big they showed up on the weather tracking radar the way a huge storm does. The chemicals involved are so super toxic that even the smoke could carry them far up and then they could 'rain' down to pollute air even here in Dallas and could have dire effects on lungs and bronchia. Now they're saying the danger is minimal, whereas earlier they were advising people to close up their houses and circulate air only internally while the danger hangs in the atmosphere. Hope it is not now just an effort to save face and avoid panic. (How jaded can one be? sigh)

Well I shall slip the movie in the player and enjoy it while I eat my supper. (provided I'm not filled up with the wholegrain crackers and hummus with Mediterranean leanings.) Thank you for mentioning it! Hugs. We can make it a group hug orgy! - Hugs to Mike too!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hey, what are you guys getting me into here? Now, I have to go turn on the TV to see what happened in Texas. As it happens I have dear friends in Texas.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I also made a point of watching some Jim (James) Caviezel movies. and had forgotten that he is in 'Déjà vu'. My goodness, he's a fine actor.

Take care with that poisonous cloud. You are too precious to go out and breathe in nasties.

I think we both have dear friends in Texas, Mike.

Mwah!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Awrgh! I didn't put "Prelude To A Kiss" on my DVD list! Now I wonder how many others I may have left out. Awrgh!

John is on the way over - getting his daily walk. I'm going to make us a cup of some divine ginger-honey tea I found in the oriental aisle of my local Fiesta market - which, of course, specializes in all the yummy Mexican treats and has the most wonderful produce. John likes ginger tea as much as I do. I did get my supper eaten but only barely started the movie going. I'll have to look into Jim Caviezel mov


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

The imagery and metaphor you cooked up in my head to say the least are trembling. A masterful work of art. You ve captured a sordid, yet profound moment which leaves me in awe! Bravo, great and talented writer. Bless you


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

I guess it's obvious that was a typo, Ian. John rang the doorbell and I tried to finish the sentence before I answered the door - got messed up. We ended up watching "Signs". He was enthralled and I may need to watch it again to catch even more of the nuances.

Ubani - you've described him so well.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, I do not know a Jim Caviezel movie that I don't like. And he is the most gifted actor. I think you will really love the breadth of his talents.

I really like lemon and ginger tea, but I have to use twice the amount they suggest as I like a real Wallop when I take that sip.

Much cooler today. It has been just below 30 degrees for days and London can be quite humid. The hottest October day since records began.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

ubanichijioke, you have really made me feel humble, grateful and decidedly happy by your wonderful comment. I still feel my face colouring with delicious embarrassment.

Thank you.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, what a lovely remark on Ubani's comment. I had a frisson when I read it, and I'm floating.

Bless you. Bless you both.

You are right about 'Signs'. I am a person who watches a film several times if I like it, and love finding more and more details. This one is certainly worth it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Wow - we've so many topics going here, it's like juggling! Let me see ~

TEXAS: The President of the United States landed and stepped out of Air Force One at Love Field about 3 hours ago. Love is my favorite airport - goes way back to when it was the only major one in Dallas. It's so much less cumbersome than DFW so when I fly (rarely these days) - I look for bookings there. The Pres is scheduled to address students at Eastfield College in Mesquite this afternoon and some other dignitaries at a downtown hotel later. Pretty exciting. He was quite relaxed, bypassed his limo to walk across the tarmac to shake hands & chat with some civilians gathered to see the event before he and his nervous Secret Agents boarded their cars for a motorcade through town. Love is much closer to the heart of Dallas than DFW, which is between Dallas and Ft. Worth and not 'in' either city.

JIM CAVIEZEL: I think he should play Barack Obama in a movie. He's not black, of course, but wouldn't need much makeup to bridge that light gap. Otherwise, his demeanor, gestures, attitude - even the love of basketball! - would serve him well in the role.

I've been pouring over his other roles and find several that really tempt me! Each one I've looked into, I'm thinking - 'This is it!' But then I find one I've been coveting anyway: "Pay It Forward". The cast is crammed with favorite actors besides Jim Caviezel, (Haley Joel Osment, Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey) and the story is wonderful. I saw it on TV about a decade ago and loved it. I didn't remember the cast all that well, but now - I may have to order it now..

Other titles which appeal to me for story, cast, director etc: "Bobby Jones - Stroke of Genius" (love Claire Forlani of "Meet Joe Black" fame & Aidan Quinn is good, too, heroic golf bios are nice, George was a life-long golfer and we enjoyed quite a few good movies of this genre; "Frequency" - Dennis Quaid is a fav; "High Crimes" - with Morgan Freeman, it's gotta be good and I ilke Ashley Judd, too; "Deja Vu" - Denzel Washington doesn't do bad movies and Val Kilmer is a good actor, Tony Scott directs great movies, I have several of his works in my collection. The stories sound good in all these. I'd love to have any of them. Thank you for bringing Caviezel to my attention. I was fascinated when he played Jesus in Gibson's movie - and all the flurry around it.

WEATHER: Well, I have the windows closed, in case the toxic smoke is still haunting the atmosphere, but I doubt if The Pres would have alighted here if that were really considered an emergency. Now the day has warmed up so opening them won't really do a lot of good. It's still cooler in here than out there, just from trapped cool.

GINGER TEA: Me, too! I don't care for wishy-washy beverages, and when it comes to ginger - I want the whammy! My mother made it for me when I was young. Most that are sold as ready-to-drink-just-add-hot-water are too namby-pamby. This I found, though is quite spunky. It's not really tea. There are crystals of real ginger, with some honey & sugar. Nothing mousy about the ginger in it. The punch is wonderful. Was actually searching for crystallized ginger when I ran across it. I adore crystalized ginger. It's made in China, imported by Prince of Peace Enterprises. The crystals dissolve when hot or cold water is added. Yummmmmmmmm. I'm hooked on the hot version. My lips are still tingling.

http://www.luckyvitamin.com/p-3126-prince-of-peace...

They also make a Ginger Green tea but I haven't tried that.

John introduced me to an herbal ginger tea that is also wonderful - brand name: Yogi . I see they stock it at the local Kroger grocery.-

http://www.yogiproducts.com/products/details/ginge...

I also have a stash of fresh ginger root in my fridge. I love the stuff. I should make my own tea! Do you have a method?

SIGNS: There are so many subtle symbols in the movie! Have you noticed the circles consisting of dots quietly printed on the curtains in one of the last scenes and also decorating a door frame in an earlier scene? I am becoming a signs sleuth! It's an amazing movie. Seems so low-key- but - anything but!

UBANI: - Demonstrates great good taste and much discernment. :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

wow - posted twice. Had to erase and this is where it was. Delete the whole thing, please.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

ps. - I meant please delete the extra post with the little explanation on it, not the "whole thing" - haha. And I omitted one major juggling topic on the whole thing:

IAN: Master of the language and the spirit of friendship, wit and patience with a certain long-winded Texas lady.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

As I explained. I wrote a huge response to your comment ("Huge", by my standards) and then the confuser crashed.

But it was lovely to hear your voice. Give my regards to the President, I really like that man. (Tell him about your ideas about him and our friend Jim)

Hugs... HUGS!!!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

I may get this tattooed on my butt I like it so much. So this is how you spend your time in Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England UK? Interesting and excellent.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

ALL of it, ThoughtSandwiches? I am flattered. I hereby give you permission for you to do just that. I lift the copyright in your favour, and your favour uniquely and specifically.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Nellie, Pay It Forward is one of my favorite movies. I cry every time I see it.

ThoughtSandwiches, that will really hurt. A lot of text.

Ian, Missed you, came by to say hello and no one is home. Love ya. Becky


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I also, Becky. I feel manipulated and I know they pull out all the stops, but I still weep buckets. I'm even a little choked up now, just thinking about it.

I'm just going to watch 'Final Destination'. One of the best Teen Movies, ever.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Isn't that the one with the naval carrier that goes back in time to Pearl Harbor? That is one of my husbands favorites.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

No, Becky, it's the story of a deranged middle aged, middle class English woman who works for the British Museum and goes to a retirement home, hoping to find corroborative evidence that the emperor Vespasian lived in Surrey. She finds a very beautiful artefact which takes her back in time to the Second World War and...

Oh No. I made a mistake.

'Final Destination' is a teen movie about some American college kids who are going to Paris on a field trip but one of them has a premonition that the plane is going to be blown up, and he panics and is thrown off the plane with several of his chums in tow, and then the plane is blown up by a World War Two bomb which the first person finds on Saint Reatham Common and that blows them all up along with a large Black lady named Mrs Eulalia Hawkins.

The End.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

HI Ian,

Just stopping by to say Hello..just missing my friend..:)

Sunnie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hello, Sunnie! I've been thinking a lot about you today. I don't know why.

x


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Ahhh....two minds thinking alike...I hope you are well...I read all of your comments, just making sure you are okay.. and get such a kick out of your humorous side....I laughed so hard at the last conversation with Beck...

big hugs...


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Ok Ian, I just got back from running more errands and find this bit if flotsam hanging around. What ARE you talking about? I am totally confused now. Sounds like one of your stories.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Dear Becky is beginning to need therapy, Sunnie. She has been trying to understand what I have written in my comments etc., and you know as well as I, and most of Christendom, that I don't make any sense at the best of times.

Poor dear.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Talking of stories, Becky, I haven't written anything for HP for ages. I don't think my heart is in it. I am still scribbling away with my Magnum Opus, which has now reached over 28,000 words, but it bloody should have, I started it when Methuselah was a little lad.

And how are you, my friend. Everything back on track?


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello TL. I am feeling a little gloom this morning, so I thought I'd drop by and read your love poem. Hope all is well.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

I am finally starting to feel like living. I take decongestants and allergy pills constantly. If I can stay awake for a couple hours, I feel like I am doing good. All the pills make me sleepy. Are you good? No more construction?

I won a Hubnuggets award the other day.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

And when you went away you were feeling more gloomy and bleak. But that is the service I offer.

Hi Mike.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Wow!!! Tell me about the Hubnuggets news. That sounds really great.

By the way, Becky, have you been leaning to close to the computer screen? I think I have contracted your cold... otherwise, I inhaled more fumes from the paint I was stripping off the door surround, or inhaled too much paint stripper fumes from the same place.

I am sniff, sniff, sniff, sniffing and getting on my own nerves.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Here is the link explaining the award. http://redelf.hubpages.com/hubnuggets6/hub/How-To It is for my hub "Helping the Homeless". I was so surprised but the message I got said it was for excellence in a hub in the Social/Political category written by someone who had been on Hubpages for 60 days or less.

I have discovered that it is pure allergies that have caused my problem and since I have gotten my allergy pills delivered, I haven't had a problem. Probably the paint stripper fumes. Ventilate well. Very important. I have a mahogany china cabinet that I need to strip but don't have a proper place to do it so it will have to wait. My husband can't be around that stuff at all.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Debbie, I just clicked on the link to read it and discover that it has been removed, Oh well, congratulations anyway.

And don't try to wriggle out of it madam, I still think you have been leaning too close to the computer screen when you were reading my stuff or writing your very kind comments.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning TL. Look at how much attention this work has brought you. What are you working on now?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi mike, I am writing a sort of story which has been going on longer than my stay on HP. I manage about 200/300 words at a time, but those times are very few and far between. It is now over 28,000 words but in the usual scheme of things, that is not a lot.

I have several short reminiscences from India which need a bit of work, but I am the laziest man on the planet, and I don't know if I will ever finish them.

Thanks for asking and thanks for your constant support.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

I know that Hannibal Lector, Dracula, Lucifer, Jack The Ripper and any other blood letting sucker out there would be proud of this scribe you left here. I savored how you drew us into your diabolical world for awhile, giving us a taste if you will of your breath taking, soul removing antics.

You weaved a brilliant tale, leaving us spell bound in a trance even at times. I was glued to each word and enjoyed each mouthful and vein popping skirt of subtle red. Please pass me another piece of succulent liver I love to roll it around in my mouth awhile with the finest wine available from my cellar:-) where also I keep my buried treasure of skulls and other body parts so nicely hidden there.

Yes I truly enjoyed this scribe, I think Hell awaits you and I will join you there for dinner. Maybe we can conjure up a few more friends to join us and we can all do the monster mash, after all it took off like a bash. Kiss may be the band to sing it with their serpentine tongues. LoL...great scribe Ian..loved every word.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Saddlerdier, I laughed all the way through your comment.

I have a very pleasant B- 1939 which you might find appetising. It is a full bodied wine, and as you no doubt know, it comes from a decent cellar and is a highly recommended vintage,

Bottoms up (as they say).


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York

I know I jump in late to all the wonderful comments about your wonderful hub. I feel like I am in the Red Room reading this! Truly a Halloween classic. If Poe were alive he would need another drink to calm his nerves at the thought of this new author!! Voted up.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

tillsontitan, what an elegant and charming comment. I loved reading it and thank you for your kindness in saying what you did.


jessica.written. profile image

jessica.written. 5 years ago from Flagstaff, Arizona

Slightly creeped. feeling a bit of horror trickle down my spine. i hope this reality is not what you would call sublime. for if so i weep. that you are concentrating on such sorrow, sucking the lives of tomorrow. will in time wine and bread be. a sufficient antidote for thee.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Jessica, I love your comment. I think you see a lot in it, and I appreciate your eloquent reply.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

I wasn't expecting anything so dark and gloomy, Ian.

I took a vow that I would read all of your work here at HP, and I have had some free time today, so here I am :)

It was long, but it was very enjoyable because I was so taken in by the use of language. If you'd sold your soul to the Devil, you probably did it to receive the gift of writing, my friend...

My favorite lines:

His pleading that I should thus rob him of

That which he values not one bit: his youth.

And I would drink deeply from the fountain that he was.

His life blood, the fountain of his being, his youth.

You really are a master of poetry, as well as prose. Well done, Ian!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 3 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nemanja, my very dear friend, I have just come across this really wonderfulness comment and hang my head in shame that I did not see it earlier and comment at the time.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your comments and respect them utterly.

Ian


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 3 years ago from Serbia

Hey, Ian!

I got the notification email, as I am following everything I have ever commended on. Don't be ridiculous, Ian! I am glad you saw the comment, but it is even better this way - I got surprised and read your poem yet again :D A win-win situation!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 3 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Great fun.

I am going to bed and to sleep within minutes. it at about -2 degrees tonight, but my duvet is really efficient and with luck, I'll sleep well till the morning.

Good night

Ian


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 3 years ago from Serbia

Good night, Ian! It is -1 here, so we are no different than you. I have a lot of work so I won't be going to sleep anytime soon, but I also have a few cozy and warm blankets to keep me warm, as well as coffee :)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 3 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I am so angry with myself, Nemanja. I have just seen your comment and it is months since you added ti.

So sorry. I just wasn't notified.

Another season and we have had glorious weather here. Take care of yourself, and keep in touch.

Ian

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