Apartment 718

Apartment 718 was in the ghetto,

right in the heart,

the brick building was falling apart,

and the suspect lived on the first floor,

there were cigarette butts

outside the apartment door,

the lead detective felt

both frustration and regret,

but his mind was set,

and he wasn’t going to double check,

he was going in,

so he inhaled deeply,

and the air was stale and thin,

he kicked in the door

and it crumbled to the floor,

the entire unit rushed in guns out,

on the sofa a small black child

would shout,

he showed the unit the television remote,

as his fear grew higher,

and that’s when the unit quickly opened fire,

the lead detective’s body felt cold,

and when reality took hold,

the truth would unfold,

he found himself staring for a few

more moments at the dead child,

it was too late,

the suspect didn’t live in

apartment 718.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 26 comments

Patty Kenyon profile image

Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

Awesome and Interesting!! Loved the imagery as well as the suspense!!!


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

Frank,

Truly incredible Frank! And to think it all started out with a shoutout from Debbie. I am very glad I found you! Awesome and clever poem here buddy! Thanks for sharing!


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Very well written.... Nice flow, and storyline is remarkable! Awesome, and beautifully done!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Oh no! What a grave mistake the detectives made.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Frank my friend...i cried for the little one..you always make my emotions go crazy...check out my latest hub..there is a surprise there..debbie


girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

very interesting and full of suspense, voted up.


Valleypoet 4 years ago

A shocking ending...another good read


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Another great poem. That poor child died.

Voted up ans awesome, Joyce.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Frank, you have us all in tears. Great job. Hyphen :)


sweethearts2 profile image

sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

What sadness: crime, provety, a child lost, and a man destroyed. Voted up! Sad but well written.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for reading my Apartment 718 Patty, Josh and Lathing..


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much for stopping by JustaskSusan and Our Dear Ms Brooks here's a great big hug for you.. hope it helps :) Bless you both Frank


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much girish.. haven't I seen you at Triond? and thank you too Valleypoet thanks for reading my 718 :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Writer20 aka Joyce alwasy good to see you.. and God Bless you many times over Hyphen.. thank you too for stopping by


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for reading sweethearts..:) bless you


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

OMG making a mistake like that can affect anyone for life. Those detectives should be strung up by their toes.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

lol toes? they follow the lead so just the lead detective right? LOL thanks for reading Gypsy rose


Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 4 years ago from Fife, Scotland

Frank this is awesome! Wonderful, dramatic poetry that reflects vividly what happens in real life - unfortunately. I agree with Gypsy! The 'tecs' should be strung up by their 'toes' or any other appropriate part!

Awesome poem, voted up + shared.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

How Awful...and yet, so much truth to be told in your Poem Frank. A Sad fact of life in the Ghetto...Which you have told so well in your Poignant Hub.


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Frank, you really excel here, this is sad and very tragic, but beautifully written.

I love the way you build up the momentum, your words and rhymes building up to the dramatic tragedy. Awesome!!


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Frank, your series is becoming more and more popular it appears! Congrats! I feel like I am there Frank. I don't know if it is because your great writing or I lived in the ghetto most of my younger days? LOL It is your writing of course:) Your just awesome Frank and I mean that. You blow my mind and I know, ONE DAY, you will be famous for this. That is how much I believe in you.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Seeker7 thank you for stopping by bless you ..toes.. too? LOL..B Mailin thanks for the visit, and welcome.. toobusiness thanks for your wonderful comment and thelyricwriter thanks again for your encouraging words :) Frank


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I have only read a few of your hubs. But I have to say I am very impressed. You have something here. I could easily see this in book format. Where your work builds and the pieces of the puzzle come together as your protagonist solves the case.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks MC.. bless you


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 3 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

ouch, wrong turn...how could he miss it?


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Raci

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