Haiku - My Attempts

Tiny dog, curled in a soft bed
Tiny dog, curled in a soft bed | Source

HubPages has led me to so many new adventures. Reading the hubs of others like PDXKaraokeGuy have led me to take a leap of faith and try styles of writing I would never have tried before. Notice I say "try"as there is no claim to success but the effort of trying.

It is difficult for the uninitiated to tell the difference among the so many types of poetry - prose - haiku - and many more. It would seem Haiku began with the Japanese but was picked up by the English. Wikipedia says that English Haiku does not adhere to the strict syllable count found in Japanese haiku so you can rest assured mine will definitely be English and may or may not adhere to haiku rules! However, with the number of syllables being uneven I might be writing prose and not Haiku at all. Japanese Haiku is said to be "cutting"; two images with a cutting word between them. I am certainly not writing Japanese Haiku!

My very first attempt at Haiku poetry:

Here I sit alone
thinking
About our life together
Years of sorrow
Years of joy
So much shared
And yet
What more is to come?

I will add a few more attempts but certainly make no claims to fame. These are experiments and learning experiences for me.

The tiny dog
curled in a soft bed
Looks wistfully
at the bone
On the floor

Sunlight, clouds
Pass by above
With shadows falling
On people below


A shot rings out
No sound is heard
The loneliness drowns
The fears
As the day continues


Dead tree - barren in the fall
Dead tree - barren in the fall | Source
Snow without cold
Snow without cold | Source

Every attempt you make at some new form of writing brings its own challenge. Sometimes success follows and sometimes just frustration. The only way to reach success, however, is to keep trying whether good or bad. With that in mind here are a few more attempts I've made:

Sand swirling
Children laughing, water rises

Dead trees
Sun trying
to poke through empty branches

Silence
watches
Empty tears
Fall on barren cheeks.

Snow
without cold
A chill in your heart

Not the best attempts certainly, but a beginning. I will continue to read both on HubPages and the Internet to try to hone my writing skills, whether I'm writing a hub/article, limerick, poem or Haiku. Your comments, suggestions and yes, criticisms are most welcome to help get me on my way.

Copyright Tillsontitan

More by this Author


Comments 13 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I am not an expert but from what I understand a Haiku is

Haiku

All three lines should connect with the middle one able to stand alone if the others were removed. They should never rhyme and if referring to a season should name it. There are three lines of 5-7-5 syllables each. It really is a beautiful art form. This I learned from Hyphenbird here on HubPages.

However with that said I enjoyed your entire hub.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York Author

Thanks Susan. You confirmed what I already thought, none of mine are really Haiku but it was fun to write. I appreciate your input and glad you enjoyed.


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Hey, I saw my name in this :-) Good start, my friend


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

I loved your compositions, though some of them are not in the traditional form of haiku.

This one is definitely a haiku (it explores nature)

Snow

without cold

A chill in your heart

Beautiful indeed.

Here is a link to haiku, if your want to explore.

http://hubpages.com/literature/Haiku-Poetry-Time...


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York Author

Thanks PDX, I don't find poetry as freeing as you do, it is more a labor but if I keep at it maybe I'll get better ;)

Vinaya, thank you so much. I will definitely continue to explore Haiku and will check out the site you recommended.


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Dear Mary ~ I read from beginning to end to learn how you are getting along with your poetry. The sentiment and flavor of the words definitely depict the haiku style. Now, the tricky part for the author is to adhere to the rhythm and line requirements as explained by Susan of 5-7-5 syllables to three lines of poetry.

I'm also indebted to Vinaya :

For posting my hub

link and leading you to me

and me to find you.

Read and count syllables of 3 lines above in haiku style.

I did not know nor

conform to the other rules

as Susan stated.

That the middle line

can stand alone, nor that they

cannot simply rhyme.

You will get the hang

of it by writing words down

and breaking up lines.

hugs

Debby


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York Author

Thanks for the pointers Deb. I will keep trying!


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Great! Try, Try, Again. Notice I responded in haiku form above. Hugs, Debby


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York Author

I did notice Debby and appreciated. I'm working on more right now. Thanks.


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

till, the more you do it, the more freeing it becomes. I think you do quite well!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York Author

Thanks PDX...I will keep trying.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Your work is lovely as it is, whether they are true Haiku or not, no matter. They are quite sweet. And the pictures were gorgeous. The winter scenes truly represent "snow without cold". Well done.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York Author

It's always nice to have someone enjoy your work. So nice of you to read, glad you enjoyed.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working