Breezes of Being

XCVI.



"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."

__Paul Valery
French critic & poet (1871 - 1945)



The creative process is virtually unfathonable.

Most works are mere fragments of the process and the resources involved, though most original manuscrips illustrate that process as it continues.

The invention of mechanical reproduction and greater distribution possibilities allowed for (more and less) shifts in printed form beyond the original manuscripts. I've only more recently been converting my lifetime of poetry writing from original manuscrips to print. Difference is clear.


It's been revealing to me. Many facets of the originals simply change by virtue of the printed appearance and possible arrangements in print. Things are discovered when typing and seeing in print, which one may see fit to change, though I almost never chose to type mine over the years. I seldom changed a poem, once recorded. I preferred to write a new poem if another idea emerged rather than change an existing one. I continue to write first in handwritten manuscript form, dated, private and sometimes revised and dynamically evolving - before abandoning it to the breezes.

Emily Dickinson
Emily Dickinson


My muse, E.D. would understand the process. She just kept hers private for the most part during her lifetime, rather than submit it to the rest of the process out of her own hands.

Perhaps she undertood that the transformation of the sharing with the steps in being published would diminish or remove its awe and bafflement, ongoing otherwise.


It's become easier to revise with word processing's means of cutting, copying, pasting and other various aids. This age of instant technologically aided display and mass random distribution further changes, perhaps distorts, the creative process which might otherwise continue to evolve each poem or to be replaced or simply remain as written.

So what about the heart, mind and soul - the whole creative process of originating poetry?

I cannot know whether the breeze of my being is friendly or whether it merely snatches at inspiration, as perhaps now in these current poems penned in my journal but now shared/published below.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-7-12


Celtic Woman (Chloë Agnew)- Walking In the Air


Fantasies

Materialize

When you appear.

Our eyes entwine.

We perceive

Our meanings, clear,

A future, near,

Real and vigilant.

How comforting, being free!

Please don't disappear.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12



Trying will not bring love.

It visits of its own accord,

Abundantly - or not.


It stays where cherished.

Where forced or trapped

It leaves with the breeze.



______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12


Shivering

I think of him,

Both elated and concerned.

His shimmering aura permeates,

Pervades my space,

His face, my dream.

I seem

More myself

When he is near.

It happens spontaneously

More often now.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12










Blazing pages

Confront my heart, my soul, my heart,

Telling all.

Seems now gone,

Consumed, spent?

Pernaps for now, - but then

My sun subsides at dusk,

Invisible to my hemisphere,

Then comes again at dawn,

All new and clear,

The light - still bright,

My soul still near,

Recalling I am here,

Visibly alive, unbent.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12



Why not now? I ask the ether.

If not now, when, - how?

No answers.

I search the stars,

Observe constellations,

Beseech the breeze

For the clue.

Silence is the reply.

I question you

For what you know,

My fiery orb,

My Sol

Aha. - So, -

My soul!

.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12



Shivering,

Slithering

Nameless dread

Chimes and lingers

In my head

At night.


It tempers, dims the light of day.

It simpers like a child in play

With wild imagining.

It modifies my joy, instead

Of knowing all is right.

And then comes dawn again.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12



Make a bower

Overhead,

A nest, a place for rest and stay,

A loft atop a tower

Above

The frantic panic,

Oblivion of

The throng below.

A place to think,

To feel,

To sense,

To know,

To love,

To be

Most freely, clearly,

To be content.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-6-12


Les Éolides (The Breezes) by César Franck


This hub was in process and nearing completion prior to a comment elsewhere from dallas93444 regarding my creative processes. It wasn't written in response to that, but in a way, it is an unplanned kind of response to it. Perhaps he was on my wave-length in his uncanny perceptive comment!

However it was, thank you, Dallas!

More by this Author


38 comments

WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

I am glad you are not shy like Emily. I am bookmarking this. I have read it well. I will absorb it even more when the mood strikes me, and it will.

I especially like these lines,

"Why not now? I ask the ether.

If not now, when, - how?

No answers."

I can relate.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

There is no other like you Nellieanna , no other !"trying will not bring love " I know that all too well and yet we all should have known better!......:-}


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Dear Ms Hay, your poems bring me shivers, from the softly fleeting breezes to the night time dread, love the images, the french doors open to the breeze, how lovely. Music next, quietly, cats are napping, lol. Regards, snakeslane


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I always look forward to your new work. Your poems are beautiful and your art work is outstanding always. I believe a poet such as yourself might appreciate a handwritten poem I found in my family's things after their death. I've tried for years to find out more about it. I'd appreciate it if you would take a look at it and give me your opinion. The Hub is called, A Handwritten Poem I Found......." I would be ever so grateful. Goodnight talented friend.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

HI, WD. Fact is, I was shy like Emily for years. I really discovered her when a few examples of my poetry I'd shared with a best friend were compared to Emily's, along with a similarity of my isolated lifestyles to hers at the time.

I'd read her poetry in school, but had known little about her life and its reflection in her poetry then, which I confess I've still read but little. I'm more enntranced by her letters, really.

But then at nearly 40, after that comparison had been drawn, I began to sense a deeper connection & felt I had a commission to break out and move beyond for both our sakes, though it was all these years latter that I've begun to.

I'll always feel a similar kind of separateness and intense sense of privacy as she obviously must have. It's really only quite recently that I ventured forth 'publicly' by sharing my poetry here on hubpages. When I first came aboard, that was my most remote intention, in fact. My first motive was simply to support a friend who was a member.

Thank you for the good comments. i'm pleased that you relate!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

ahorseback, thank you! We would all benefit from realizing that among love's values and virtues is its spontaneity. Otherwise, how would one recognize that it's real? If it just bent to what it's bidden, we wouldn't know whether it's merely responding to our demands & expectations or was expressing its own reality, which surpasses our expectations when it's the real and abiding thing. If it's not, - what is it or its value but our own illusions imposed on whatever it may actually be? It's a bit like the old adage that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear! :-) A lot of folks have settled, not that the other person is unworthy, but if love isn't in it, it's just settling.

It may take us time to realize that, though. It does take willingness to allow real love to come to one and express itself in its own way. That may not seem very easy, but considering the realistic alternatives, - it's both easier and vastly more fulfilling when it does come. And if it doesn't come along very fast, at least the door is open for it still and one is freer to live and grow as a person worthy of it if it comes.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Snakeslane, your comment is lovely itself. Your sensitivity lifts your words and they lift me. Thank you! Yes, the music is special. I love t too.

Hugs. . .


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mary, thank you! I'm pleased you enjoyed it. I thought I recalled your hub about the handwritten poem you found, and, sure enough, I found it and found I'd read it 3 months ago and had commented on that amazing delicate manuscript.

It somehow fits the theme of this hub of mine too, the way handwritten manuscripts capture more than mere words. It's like the poet or writer has poured himself or herself into the raw beautiful handwritten words and feelings that are probably a first (or only) draft of them.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Hi there, Mellieanna, it's hard to keep up with all this stuff, isn't it. I sometimes can't remember for sure if I read someone's Hub. Someday when I have time, I'll research that old poem. I'd like to know more about it. Thanks for taking the time to check to see if you had read it. I appreciate that. Happy writing, and have a great day, friend.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 4 years ago from UK

You never cease to give pleasure with your words, my beautiful Goddess :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah, yes, Mary, it is hard to keep up with all the stuff! Some days, it rushes over me. This has been a difficult day, in fact. Must just let go of some of it, I find, which is more difficult some days than others when too much pressury stuff happens at once.

It would be great to learn more about that wonderful old manuscript. If you do, I hope you'll share it, Mary!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Dimitris. :-) Happy upcoming Valentine's Day! You're so nice to let me know you enjoy my words. Big Hugs!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 4 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Aaaaahhhhh! You "muse" me! We do share lots in common...

To thine ownself be true!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

I don't have a scanner, so I am not able to change the tabbing of my poems they way you do -Hubpages editing doesn't allow that. No matter how I type out my text when I am writing up the hub, I cannot create any shapes. So often the shape of the poem is essential to the theme - like an hourglass to write a poem about aging, for example, or a heart to write a poem about love. There is a certain intimacy which is lost when reading on the internet which is found on the printed page. It is your book or magazine. You can highlight it, make comments beside it, etc. That's rather sad about the internet.

I love your imagery.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

Nellieanna , sometimes I believe that 'love' is the all illusive dream that only the hearts of youth are allowed. For with my age comes a realization that the illusion is just that. Yet , there is the sobering and fleeting glimpse of a real and immagined natural flow to being in a "comfortable" place...who knows for sure.......:-}


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dallas, dear friend, that IS musing, for sure!

Yes, if not true to oneself, then to whom?

Thank you for your comments! I'm flattered.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Flora, earlier there was much more leeway in tabbing & arrangement of lines here, now they're much more restricted, as you've observed. There are only a few simple ways to vary them, which are with vertical spacing, the use of the one indent choice or use of the text capsules which can be slid from side to side of the pages & use of the one indent choice within those. Still permits merest slight variations to please visually, though. I enjoy a challenge and I'll bet you do too.

I've never felt that typed words, even with the most graceful fonts, can convey the same natural flow and add their own quality, freedom and intimacy as hand-written.

Thank you so much for your lovely compliment.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

ahorseback. You always give me something to ponder & gave me pause to ponder over your qualified "sometimes I believe that. . ."

Pondering on it, it occurred to me that slight differences in meanings of two near-homonyms might help: "Illusive" and "elusive". Think so?

If love seems less tangible as one matures, perhaps it's more that we begin to realize that our earlier interpretation of this amazing thing that is love isn't quite as we thought. That first flush and rush of blinding passion, whirling desire, over-eagerness to please and greediness to be pleased, all which we thought was the be-all and end-all of love which seemed to burn itself out by its own intensity & misplaced emphasis eventually, exposing itself as an illusory pipe-dream we'd thought & attempted to identify as our big "love"- surely can't be 'all there is'. Or is it? What, then? Aha!

It's elusive. Fewer recognize and accept its requirements or its rewards for freedoms from many of the plaques of that first kind of love; they may simply accept that as the final answer.

I recall my own struggle with it when I wrote this poem:

_______________________________

Echoes of Life

Elusive dreams - perfections

Approach reality,

Only to subside too soon.

Perfect love, the dream of dreams,

Its after-image, left behind,

Itself, now-near -

Now -far again,

Now, crest, - now-fall,

Though best, and nearest

To unfolding -

and-dearest. . .

Oh! Could it ever be?

Or - do I dream in vain

As others do?

Is truth a hollow promise

And love, an empty shell

That I should let them go?

NO!

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

11-30-71

_______________________________

Turns out that only 'perfect' is illusion.


suni51 4 years ago

I really love to read your contents, prose or poems. In fact I come back to read it and leave without making a comment as I find no appropriate words to make a comment. Your work is so very delicate for comments that I can manage, however carefully I try to make them. This is my third visit here before I could gather some courage to say 'you are superb Nellieanna mam' My best regards.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Suni, dear friend. You're always free to comment or not, but from here, every comment you leave is welcomed and valued!

I appreciate your lovely compliments, but you do me most compliment simply by visiting my work! Thank you!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

Thanks for this lovely hub Nellieanna. I studied the poetry of Emily Dickinson at school. It is about time that I reaquainted myself with her brilliant verse.

Thankyou for the brilliant video of Cesar Franck. I dont know which was best, the scenery or the music.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Christopher, thank you, kind sir! I hope you do reacquaint with Emily's poetry. Her life was unique, as well, of course. Even so, she could go from gentle observations of nature, her garden & her dog, Carlo, to some of the most deep, amazing concepts of love, life and death, most of which are known just from her poetry and letters, since hers was an extremely private life. I love her letters almost as much as the poetry. Many of them are like poetry.

That Cesar Franck video thrills me too. When I find such a piece for my hub, I think, "I'll bet Christopher will enjoy this - the music and hopefully, the combination!" :-)


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

It is with deep gratitude that I vote up on this stunning hub, filled with poetry that can only be created by you, dear Nelleanna.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

VocalCoach - Audrey. What a lovely thing to say! Thank you. I've just been over reading your profile and peeking into your website. I so admire your talent! I love music but after all these years, my 'performance' is modest, at best, though I enjoy it. As my mother always said, nobody gets all the squirrels up one tree! ;-)


KDee411 profile image

KDee411 4 years ago from Bay Area, California

Beautiful as always. Vote up +

Kay


suni51 4 years ago

Thanks a lot Nellieanna ma'm, I am really loving every word of your sweet writing. So inspiring and full of love.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Kay! Thank you, sweet lady! It's always my pleasure to see you here!


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Hello Nellieanna,

I finally came back to listen to the music (although your poems are music to my ears). Wow! What a delight! Thank you for another entertaining dinner theatre (dinner for me). Love you Ms Hay! Happy Valentine's Day!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Suni, Thank you. I'm pleased that you are enjoying my writing.

I'm glad you returned to HubPages, too! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Snakeslane - Aw. . . I'm honored. What a lovely compliment! A Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. Hugs!


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

Your being is both friendly and inspirational. I also admire Emily Dickinson, as I never considered writing poetry seriously until I read her work. And I'm enthralled with your prose as I was with hers. Thank you for sharing...


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

"Trying will not bring love.

It visits of its own accord,

Abundantly - or not."

"It stays where cherished.

Where forced or trapped

It leaves with the breeze."

Nellieanna, I look forward to seeing you publish so much. You are such a gift to us here. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful writing. I loved these lines most of all. Your heart is amazing and the gift runs through every part of your being.

Hugs,

Sunnie


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Augustine, I'm glad to learn that you admire Emily Dickinson too. I really didn't discover our common bond till long after I'd written poetry a long time. It felt like discovering a long-lost sister.

Thank you for your visit and your thoughts.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sunnie, dear, thank you. I appreciate your kind comments so much! It's such a joy to know you enjoy my work.


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

Truly beautiful as always. Breezes of Being, I felt swept away with your words. Like a bird in flight and drifting with the winds of change I could be wrong but I felt a feeling of melancholy and remembrance in your verse. Your visuals again always stunning additions to your poetry. Listening to them I felt dreamy almost whimsical and dreamy eyed. I watched you as your reached out to touch a face so dear to you as his shape took form in the shadows of your room. A longing in a sense to be beside the one you loved. This work is moving, touching and uplifting to me. Your a poets poet always and I am humbled to know you Ms ED reincarnated.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, there is melancholy IN remembrance at times, and sometimes longing for and loving someone who is gone can be a quite strong sense of loss. Let me say that I've had no recurrence of 'dry eye' since my beloved died. But I feel the sweetness of the remembrance just as strongly as the whimsy of it.

There is a more recent pop-culture interest with ED as its icon. I must look into it.

Thank you, Vincent. Hugs.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You are the Pissarro and the Cezanne, the Scheherezade, and the Chabrier Fete Polonaise, you are the Browning and our Emily Dickinson of Hubpages.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

What heady company in which you've placed me, Mike! All I can do is aim to merit it, but no promises! Thank you, m'dear!

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