Before a Queen
Understand that I am a Kingless Queen. Ruler of my own kingdom. Not searching or wanting for anything. I was here before our paths crossed and will remain here long after you have continued on with your journey. Do not come before me fearful of the weight of a King's crown or a kingdom's care. You have your journeys ahead of you and I have mine. Our paths may not intertwine endlessly. That is not the purpose you were sent to me to fulfill. No, you were sent to me to fulfill my most selfish of needs. You were sent to view me clearly. To know the woman behind the queen. You were sent to me as a welcomed escape from the life that I am blessed with . The life that makes me happy and is filled with peace but I seem doomed to love alone. You are a temporary release. A safe place for a queen to rest and hide if only for a small amount of time. If I am ever to fade from your presence know that the connection will always exist. This is in gratitude for your existence so long as no grave evil has come from you. That one would exist with the ability to be brought before me is something that deserves acknowledgement. You can become large in my eyes, in my chest, and in my void or you can be a faint memory based on who you are while you stand before me. I care not for the path you left behind, the crosses you have had to bare, or the mistakes you have made before unless they go against my highest values of preserving life and defending honor. You stand before me a man with stories to tell and a clean slate. Not judged or punished for who you were but praised for who you have yet to become. I stand before you a powerful queen, a secure woman in need of the protection and the break that you can provide should your doubtful mind and your concern for the unknown future not stand in the way.
Stand before me and willingly pledge your loyalty to me to the extent that you are able to. Only pledge the amount of loyalty that you can while remaining true to yourself.
You stand before me because this is where you want to be. You have come to seek me out because you were pulled to me. So, I offer you this word of caution. To willingly dive into me and mine you must be sure of yourself and where it is that you would like to be. You must give me your honesty and share your doubts willfully. I am not in the position to entertain dramatics. I know what gifts lie within me. I know their worth and their uniqueness. A worthy recipient is not chosen by the choices made before. He is chosen by his recognition of the gifts laid before him and the choices he makes in regards to those gifts.
I have an understanding of the nature of life. Everything that begins must one day end. While I do not look to give you a title, where I am you may be. You may stand by my side and be as known as deeply as you have ever desired or cared to be. I will be the vault where you can hide your truths and you shall be mine. You will have my loyalty with out question and I require yours. If your gifts are to be shared than you are not qualified to receive me. If the loyalty of a queen is not enough to sustain you than you must stay with your common women who are weak and many. Those who do not fulfill you or sustain you but are sufficient enough to dull the noise and pass the time. The decision is yours to make. I will not force your hand. A queen does not chase or manipulate. Yes, I am a woman. I know what games and roles to play in order to force the hand of a feeble man. I know how to cater to a man's need to meet but rarely exceed expectation. I know how to break a man's spirit as well. These tools will never be used by one like me. You are here because, tho you have been taught to feed into these foolish games, you are not the average feeble minded man. You can be worthy to entertain a queen if you so chose. If you chose not to than I could only offer you a lifelong, unconditional connection. A pact that you can carry with you always but does not include the warmth of my skin or the depth of my passions.
There is a place for you as a trusted protector and the closest seat to the queen no matter what you decide. It is yours until you lose it or give it up. The only place that is under question is the place that you would have in my bed chambers. The person seated to the right of me will pledge loyalty to me and give me much of his time and affection but has his abode to do what we will with whatever common woman he wants. The loyalty required for the bed in my chambers is quite different. While it does not require you to be more to me than what you are and will not monopolize every moment of your life, it does require extreme loyalty from you. This is a choice not a requirement. If a queen is not enough to satisfy you, chose the commoners. If I am not to be the precious jewel that you will protect and shelter with every ounce of your being than leave me untouched. For untouched, the constant loneliness that seems to be required of the path that I have been given is tolerable. I have learned how to wear it glamorously and dance to its music. A welcomed temporary break that would end in betrayal may tip the balance and leave me the withered rose left in the shadows. I am a queen, defender of my realm. It is a risk that I cannot afford to take. What was never had can never be mourned after all but I was not created to be second to anyone. I was not created to compete or pine for anyone's attention. I was not made to be part of any collection. I was made to be the prized piece of unmeasurable, intangible value that outshines the entire collection. The view that stays with you throughout time. So that when the time would come for an end, as it always does come, the end would be as natural as the beginning and free from the pain of betrayal or the stench of regret. It would end with a strong embrace, a smile on my face, and a tear in my eye, and the lifelong bond that trust and satisfaction has earned us but nothing more. If I am not going to be the only one living within you for the limited time that we are given than it is best that I never live in you at all.
The choice is yours to make. I remain in place regardless of what you chose and here I will remain until the end for I will never leave but you can have me fade.
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