Being Together

Takes It To A Whole New Level

In each lifetime we experience so much

At an early age I experienced hurt ,pain , rejection

That brought me to a dark place

Always wanting more

Not understanding why being myself wasn't enough

I got content on having to try harder

As time went on

Deep seated feelings of insecurity flourished

When I should of had kindness and friendship

All I was asking for is fun

Not understanding the way things work

Watching others who don't seem to deserve certain things and people

Get what they want

While I still struggle with confidence and the philosophies of life

My strong belief in God

My love from my mom and dad

I have learned to play the waiting game

Thinking one day

I can have what I want

Just like everyone else

Keep doing what I feel in my gut to be write

Thinking things through in my mind

Writing about life and troubled times

Looking at what other people have

Trying to find ways to get what I want out of life

Working hard to the point of a workaholic

Throwing myself so much into work

No time for anything else

Also believing when my time comes

I will know

I will be able to sweep the right person off her feet

Remembering when I was very young

Probably 6 or 7

Falling in love with a neighbor

My first childhood crush

Later seeing that person move away

Feeling we both have gone our separate ways

Even though it was only a few cities away

My life seemed drastically different

When before I felt relaxed and myself

Now I didn't have that support

Other people were always more interesting and loving

The girls that I seen were untouchable

They were in a different league

A step above

Not because I was not caring

A true gentleman

because they found other friends more exciting and they were into them

Not me

I heard everyone has someone

How ?

If you put yourself out their

Why do woman have all the power

While other men had more talent, brains and power

Not my limited belief

Just the way it was

So I turned to my inner self

A kind of self actualization

Still believing what I want and searching for ways to get there

As I studied harder it was not always the way

My attraction to a few beautiful girls

As they showed no problem

Pushing me away

No holding back

How they were not interested

I became just a very nice. kind friend

Even though I wanted more

Throwing myself back into my work and school

I could always dream

One day those dreams would take form

When they did

I would appreciate what a wonderful gift I now had

Where my friends by this time

Lived the life they wanted

Got what they always wanted

Had treated girls and later women with little respect

My time has come

When my first college woman showed interest

In me

In what I love to do

we hit it off

We had thirteen beautiful years

Sharing ,growing and learning

Then to find one day

My feelings and thoughts weren't appreciated

Thinking in my mind

If you gave it all you had

They would certainly see

The real me

Then life took a new turn

Someone else showed a deeper interest in me

Something I thought I had but slowly realizing I didn't

With my heart broken

Future dreams shattered

Soon a new bond greater than anything I have ever known

Even though many times wondering what did I do wrong ?

Always trying to fix myself when I wasn't broken

Still thinking as long as I worked hard and did all I could to show my love

That special person would know

So as a friendship grew

The powers of love were so strong

A bond that made all my life what it is today

Leaving my ist and second love behind

Not having a huge dating experience

I tried to throw myself into working longer

Having no time to feel pity or sadness

After even this didn't give the rewards I expected

Once again I was thrown into one dilemma after another

Any crisis before this always seemed to be in other peoples court

I was the one offering help and assistance

Now when I needed it them most

I was left empty

What I am trying to say to others out there

I can't explain it

But you keep doing what you strongly believe in

It will all work out

Comments 2 comments

Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

The only way to go. Keep believing, keep working keep striving for more.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago Author

Gypsy Rose Lee This is an attempt to show my readers my journey and struggle so they can relate to my writings on a deeper level. My inspiration and hidden passion behind the cat.Thank you for reading and sharing so many points of view. Have a great day.

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