Better off without you, better off without me

If you're gone-By Matchbox 20

Changes of Life

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Because there are reasons why we love

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Words that show no love and hide the way we feel


Better off without you-
You’re better off without me.
It’s so easy to say-
Not as easy to truly believe

Words that show no love-
They are hiding the real fear
The fear of what life is like,
When we forget how we should feel.

It happened over night.
Wait...no, that is a lie.
It took awhile to happen,
As we lived our lives trying to hide.

Stupid little fights-
Nothing too mature,
Makes everything in-between
become a chaotic blur.

Yesterday was simple-
Yesterday was kind.
Today life feels like it has left me far behind.

Wish I knew what to say-
or something I could do-
but I'm lost without words
when it comes to knowing what I should say to you.

Fight for your life-
Fight for our love-
Fight because you’re losing your grip,
On a life you once dreamed of.

You will tell me I am wrong,and say hurtful things.
I listen to the sound,
and become lost to reality.

Then you disappear and I watch you fade away
As all of the colors fade-I can feel my heart break.

Before I knew it-
My soul had disappeared.
And when I finally found it
It had lost what was real

So scared for you
Too scared for me-
For that this illusion of life
Has become a senseless reality

Wake Up-Wake Up.
It’s a dream you dream of.
I am right here-
I am still real
And I am still waiting for you to see how I feel.

Please see my pain & feel my bleeding heart.
Lately when I see you,
It takes me time to know who you are.

Please don't say you’re sorry-
or explain to me my faults.
I'm not trying to place anymore blame-
I'm trying to remember who we are.

I hate the way this is going
I hate the way I make you feel
I hate the way I feel when you tell me I am not real

Words we say to one another
When we try to get our points across
We are slowly killing each other.
And we are falling apart from a dream we once dreamed of

I won’t say I am sorry
I don’t want to misplace my blame
We can not have what we once had
Many days before yesterday

Why can’t we figure this out?
Why is it so hard to compromise?
Why when we try,
Do we lie to hide,
To avoid the truth of what we hide inside?

Can we work on getting through the fights and
Figure out how to move on?
Or are we stuck in bitterness,
That will soon result in broken hearts?

You can’t tell me, because you don’t know.
We really don’t know if we lose.
Even as angry as you tend to make me-
I still can’t help loving you.

Is love enough, I am sure it is not,
Because pain is still in control of each of us.

This isn’t me- this isn’t you,
And this is no longer the promise that we promised as the truth.

Keep on going-
Say no more?
What’s the best bet?
Who walks out the door?

I can’t tell- Is this hell?
All I know is it hurts to feel,
The feel of the hurt,
The feel of the lies
The ones we both speak to hide our disguise

Keep me forever,
No…..just let me go.
Change what you want-
Change what we are.

Better of without you,
You are better off without me?

So easy to say-
Not so easy to believe…




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Comments 32 comments

Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Holly, very nicely written. It immediately crosses over to understanding for me. I see the truth in the words, which gives more meaning to your writing. I only hope you find the strength you require to push forward, so the bitterness will not last long. Thank you for sharing such feelings and thoughts. I'm always grateful, because I learn more about you. Voted up! :)


Jason R. Manning profile image

Jason R. Manning 6 years ago from Sacramento, California

Hello H.C.

Though I do not know what your situation is, I was familiar with that pain a couple of times. It is real, it is tender, and it is frightening with its grip on ones life. Hopefully you are a women who understands the higher power to make new again and whole. Peace be with your family, especially the little ones.


ralwus 6 years ago

Who's to say what is best? Wonderful photos. Painful verse, palpable.


Nan 6 years ago

You have written a beautiful poem! Have you tried counseling, it might help. Love does not come everyday, and remember that there is a lot at stake. Good Luck.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

This is so amazing, Holly-you bring the reader into this poem so masterfully.

I am pleased to be a reader but feel such sorrow and confusion.

Thanks.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

thanks cagsil, for your comment and for reading this poem. I am glad you enjoyed the read :) and that it was easily read as well as understood :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Jason, Thanks for taking the time to read, and I appreciate the feedback and encouragement within your comment. I am sorry you have had sorrow that has hurt your heart- I guess we all probably have. Thanks again :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

ralwus, we are to say what is best-so when we are confused and not sure...it is often frustrating trying to figure it all out. Thanks for reading and for the comment, it is appreciated very much sir :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

nan- thanks for reading and for the comment. I am glad you liked the poem. You are very right that love doesnt come around every day- we must work on it and try to keep it for as long as we can.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

lorlie, thanks you ma'am for reading and commenting. your feedback is always so welcome, as I truly take what you say to heart. I have a whirlpool of a life going on right now-and my emotions are just as confused about every thing as I am sure some are reading my work.


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 6 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

Pleasure and pain - the dual blessings of sharing someone's heart. Here's a thanks from one glad to share the journey.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Reminds me of a hub I had written about resiliency... Somehow we become stronger. Thanks for sharing..


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Dave Price-

Thank you for stopping in and reading this poem, and you are very welcome for sharing it here. Writing my thoughts helps me sort through the confusion we all sometimes feel within a relationship. Everything happens for a reason, and it is up to each of us to grow from every experience we go through in life. Thanks again for the comment.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Dallas,

Thanks for your comment. Being that we have both written about getting through and growing from situations, it assures me that I (we) are not alone when we find ourselves in troubled times. Thanks for reading, I appreciate your feedback.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

HC, your words are beautiful and touching, as always. I hope the situation you face can resolve itself in a manner that offers you peace and the happiness you so richly deserve. Take care.

Mike


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

HC, I am truly feeling this. I've said these words so many times because I truly didn't know what to say. The pain and fear of losing someone you really love can make you say things and react in strange ways.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike, Thanks for your words-and for the compliment you left. Do certain situations have a tendency to leave a person without words? I often find myself overwhelmed with feelings-and when this happens I struggle with words to properly express myself... Once I find them-I will share them. :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Veronica-so amazing what anger and frustration can cause a person to feel when everything catches up with you. Thanks for stopping by and for the comment :)


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 6 years ago from Guildford

I cannot possibly imagine how difficult it must be to lose someone you love. Truly believe you can create exactly what you want, focus on it and happiness will follow. Lovely poem, voted up.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

This was a beautiful, heart wrenching poem, full of pain, love and confusion, my heart goes out to you.

voting up :)


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

There is something very lyrical here. Like this was meant to be written into a song. Songs aren't usually that long. It was rather tortured and I am sorry for that. Your feelings came loud and clear though and it was well put together.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

H.C. I feel your pain. I to have been there and felt the arrows penetrated to my heart with words not chosen carefully by the both of us. Anger gets in the way of reason, wanting to run and hide, looking for a way out of the relationship, what's the cost?

The biggest cost is the how devastating it is to children in the marriage. I have written many hubs on Divorce, mental abuse for all involved. My advice to both of you is to seek counseling, however if one partner is bent on ending it and the love is gone, then unfortunately there is no recourse.

If that is the case, please, please use a mediator and ensure both of you share the love of your children. I suffer in anguish over the loss of my 4 children because of acts of their mother. Peace and hugs from the Saddle.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

acaetnna

thanks for the comment and for the vote up- I truly appreciate it :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

nighthag, thanks so much for the concern and for the comment- much appreciated. :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Jaggedfrost

Thanks for reading-and I am sorry for the length-it just kept coming out-and I typically do not pay attention to the length. Maybe one day it could be a song of some sorts- love to see someone write music and allow me to donate some lyrics. Thanks again for the comment (I think)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Saddle Rider,

Thanks for stopping in and giving your input and your advice. you are right-always consider the kids.

We have been working towards working through any and all disagreements we may have.

It has taken us awhile to realize that this isnt something that will happen just because we will it to-we actually need to make considerable efforts to make it all work, regardless of any and all stress. Thanks again :)


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

lol it was a lovely set of verses I was merely categorizing the type of poetry so as to give it its just deserts. Like many of mine I am not sure that it has a square whole for it to be pounded into. It was lovely though.


Yess! 6 years ago

HC- this is so tragically beautiful! When a relationship is this tormented sometimes the only common ground is (and should be) the children. In doing what is right for the children, we ultimately do what is right for the parents. That is not to say staying in a turbulent environment just to keep the family facade is always best- but if you both work towards a common goal who knows what will bloom! Hugs to you!


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Jaggedfrost, lol- no worries I did not take offense to your comment- I am glad you posted your feedback :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Yess!,

Thanks for the comment- I completely agree... when in a relationship where children are involved it is vital to think about how issues and situations effect them before jumping into making a decision. Nothing is dead-nothing is hopeless as long as we are still alive. Happiness is often what we want it to be.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

I love Matchbox 20- by the way. This was great writing. Can't believe I haven't found your hubs before now.

On being a kid from divorced parents, I was 10, but I remember being glad my parents were divorced finally. I hated their arguing. I have mixed feelings about relationships with kids involved. Sounds cliche, but the best advice I've heard is given by Dr.Phil who says kids would rather be from a broken home than in one.

I know my marriage got way off track after having a baby. Even though my daughter is now 3, it seems like my husband and I have a lot of work to do with us.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

izetti-

marriage is so hard-specially after kids. it is hard to take time for each other-for ourselves-for the kids-for work and friends-and for the daily chores and not feel as if something is going to give... I think that this is why so many couples break up- they dont fall out of love with one another...the love gets misplaced and when we find it again, we arent quite sure how to use it.

My husband and I have much work to do as well- but we are working on it and that is what matters- because we both want the same thing/just have lost how to work together to obtain it :)

Thanks for your comment- I appreciate it

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