Beyond the Stars

As I stood outside, the star-filled skies looking down at me, I listened as I so often do. I speak with my Sheila almost every single night and she speaks to my heart. Some may be skeptical or not believe that we can speak to our loved ones long after they leave this planet, but I know it in my heart of hearts to be true. The voice, only audible inside my mind and my heart spoke to me. Though she has been in heaven for many years now, the voice of my wife spoke to me again. She read me like a book and knew where my heart and my thoughts had been for far too long again. I listened to her soft, gentle tone; the only tone that this Bipolar mind can accept. Aggressive, confrontational type words would only send me reeling as far away as my mind could get. Her words, like the stars above me, exploded in my mind as I took in her words.

"You fall short of the goals you seek, not because you lack the passion nor the talent to see the very peak of the mountains you wish to claim. Your passion for life and writing are more than your desires for anything else. The very core of your heart and soul come to life in your written words. They, like a burst from the Sun's surface, explode and light the hearts and minds of those that read you. Your failure to reach the stars should not be blamed on any other circumstance other than your deep fears of of failure itself."

As I listened to her, I watched the night sky, trying to see beyond the stars. I strained to see if I could look beyond the stars above me. They sparkled and blinked as if winking at me. The big Dipper and the Milky-way shone brightly, like looking down at New York City from an airplane at night. Stars followed stars into a deep space that only beget more stars behind those that I looked at. I tried to process Sheila's words, wanting to understand them. Still, I searched the skies for what might lay beyond the already diamond filled heaven above me.

"If a Doctor is what you would have chosen to be, then a Doctor you would have been. If you had chosen to be an astronaut, then your passion and your knowledge would have taken you into the very stars you wish to touch right now. Only your fears of failing have stopped you from embracing the places you could have been. You fear that your writing is not good enough to sell out the store shelves they adorn. Each time you find yourself close to climbing further towards the top of the mountain, you find a reason to rest. You have the abilities, the talent and the passion to finish the climb. It is not about your dedication, for it is stronger than the very breath you take to live. Application is where you miss that pinnacle you so very much desire. Applying the belief that all of those that know you and love you have for you is what you must do. You must be the one to make it happen, Darrel. No one can do this for you. Go forward and do what you know; what you have Always known needs to be done."

I listened and thought of what she was saying. Doubts, as always, crept in to my thoughts. I do work hard and I do apply myself and I... I DO find something else to do when I feel as if I may actually be making forward progress. There was nor is there any denying the fact that I am like a child at times. The "squirrel" effect takes over for me and I find myself easily distracted. I shook my head, looking at the sky, searching for the star I had been focusing on. It was no longer there. Perhaps it had not been there at all. The skies, filled with a bazillion shining lights, suddenly swallowed up the space that my star had been in. Sheila was done for now. She had said what she had come to say and now, the rest was up to me.

As I strain to look beyond the stars, I suddenly become fully aware of the stars that stand right in front of me. I turn my focus on them and see the dazzling beauty before me. I realize that Not everything has to be further than the stars. Not everything I seek has to be so gihugic that it appears to be too far to even try. The mountain is only as tall as I allow it to be and the stars, only as out of reach as I tell myself that they are. I see now that though I tell myself I am dedicated to my writing and that I give it my all, I stray more often than I should and fall short of what I Do have the passion and the ability to do. Instead of trying to go beyond the stars, I think that I will stay within my own Solar System for a time and finish the climb.

Comments 16 comments

Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Hello Friend,

It has been awhile ;) I loved this post as I could see what a comfort you find in listening to your heart as your wife speaks through heaven to you. I do believe this to be true...I also am learning too that as we wait or walk through our writing journey we must spend out time doing other things of value that takes its focus off our needs and wants. My mom has been sick recently and I found myself doing things that took my mind off writing and as I gave of myself in other areas the writing was enriched. Being a writer can be so self absorbed and that is never good. Finding a balance is a good thing. Looking beyond the stars, beyond our pen, may be the road to contentment in our hearts.

Take care my friend,

Sunnie


Terri Meredith profile image

Terri Meredith 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

This is really lovely. I truly am happy when I learn that yet another person has learned to listen with their heart to the "voices" from our departed loved ones. They make themselves known to us in so many ways. If even half of the world's population would embrace the abilities inherent in all human beings, what a different world this would be. Voted up and awesome!


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

Hello to you, Sunnie. Yes, it has been a while and as you, life has taken me away from writing for far too long. writing is like water to you and I and without we wither some and if not careful, a little bit of us dies. I do believe that my 7 novels can sell as much as i believe that I Must do all I can to make it happen. Book sells at my signings are way down because the e-readers are where it is at now. I am trying to boost those sales to and need the encouragement of both Sheila and those that I surround myself with. Thank you for still reading me and thank you for your words.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Wonderful to hear from you again. It is always a pleasure and you have astounded us again with your insight and gorgeous descriptions. Be well and don't wait so long to let us hear from you again.


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

Terri, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. They are as much needed as they are appreciated. Selling my novels seems to take up more of my time than does the writing. I have to continue to listen to that beautiful lady in heaven and believe that sells will come. If I stop listening, I may fade in to nothing. Thank you again for your words. They truly do encourage my soul.


debbie lawrence 4 years ago

Darrel, your writing goes as far as your solar system will allow it to go.

Shelia sees that your solar system has come to a circle that is not complete, as you wonder around to other systems you came to see that you have not listened hard enough, so you will listen harder to hear her words,close your eyes to see her by your side encougering you to continue on your path and go full circle thru your solar system, and write the WORDS,we all have grown to love.

lov ya always.


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

hello to you, Becky. So wonderful to see you here reading. Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement and friendship. I do truly cherish them.


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

debbie, in your words I do find encouragement and struggle to look past the lowering sales. It is hard and though I Do try so hard to listen, the world has a way of tainting all that May be true and making it seem impossible to believe in. I know that I Must put more into the marketing but remain about 90% ignorant to how. Still struggling with the CD and finding some way to get it online as I KNOW that people would love it. Thank you for your beautiful words and the knowledge that Sheila is Still so much here with me, watching and guiding me. Hugs for you always, Darrel


J.P. 4 years ago

Beautiful and infinate through your heartwarming words. Don't lose your focus, you are an amazing artist. Friends As Always,

Jami


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

To see you here brightens my heart. To read your words springs life to it. Someone once said "if you always do what you have always done, you will always be where you have always been." Perhaps I need to look deeper at those words. To stay focused is not always easy to do, my dear lady but I do thank you from my heart for your words. Cherishing your beautiful friendship, always, Darrel


fatgrammy profile image

fatgrammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

You are who you are and what a blessing you have been to those of us who have come to know and love you and your words. Times are hard even for well known writers as you know. I know you will never give up, your fate is in the stars.


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

grammy, your words are wonderful and fill me with hope but my heart and my mind say differently. I search for answers to marketing and with a billion strong net, one would think there were answers that didnt ask for your first born as payment. I sit today and ponder where to go from here. thank you for always being here to read me. Always, Darrel


Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 4 years ago from New England

Hi Darrel,

Beautiful hub. I nominated you for a hubby award for best fiction writer. I've enjoyed reading your very vivid and passionate writing, and look forward to reading more and more. Thank you for sharing your talent with your Hub Pages friends. I'll be sending you energy and light for your success.


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

Always it is wonderful to see you here.The nomination touches my heart in a way you can't imagine and thank you seems so small to say how i feel but thank you is the very best and said with my heart. I will keep this with me and let it further encourage me to write and believe that I Will find a way to see sales increase. Thank you once more and I wish for you Only the very best that life has to give. Always, Darrel


michelle 4 years ago

quite a fan base you have here and so well deserved as you and you rwriting are all that they say .


Dday50627 profile image

Dday50627 4 years ago from Iowa Author

I am smiling sooooo big here. To see you here makes my heart fill with warmth and I can not put into words what it means to me when you comment. Hugsssssssssss for you and know that this is more than wonderful. smiles and more smiles for you. X

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