Bigfoot? Knobby? What About Those Werewolves of North Carolina? Ah-Ooh!
I read with interest a recent hub regarding a recent sighting of a bigfoot in Western North Carolina. Of course, this comes as no surprise to anyone familiar with the wooded areas of our state as we all know these areas are full of all sorts of supposedly mythical creatures like bigfoots (or would that be bigfeet?), unicorns, leprechauns and black squirrels. Then, of course, there are those most heinous of all legendary creatures... the werewolf!
Recently, while wandering aimlessly through the wooded area on my friend's property, I had a frighteningly close encounter with one of these nocturnal creatures. And it wasn't just any werewolf, either. It was the extra-scary four-toed werewolf unique to Eastern North Carolina. Unfortunately, I was not able to get video of the creature because... well, because I can never remember how to switch my camera over to video mode. But I did get a couple of snapshots of the terrifying beast.
Just as the bigfoot out in the western part of the state growled and snarled at the unfortunate traveler who crossed his path, so did this vile creature menacingly threaten me. It wasn't so much growling and snarling though. It was more... well, let me just give you a bit of the conversation I had with the terrifying critter...
WEREWOLF: Grrr! I;m a vicious werewolf!
ME: Oh my heavens!
WEREWOLF: Do you taste like pizza?
ME: Pizza? Uh, I hope not.
WEREWOLF: Grrr! Get me pizza now or I'll eat your brain!
ME: Um... that's zombies, not werewolves.
WEREWOLF: Oh. What do werewolves eat? I mean besides pizza.
ME: I'm not sure. Spleens maybe?
WEREWOLF: Spleens? You're pulling my leg.
ME: Yeah. The four-toed one.
WEREWOLF: Very funny. Really, what do werewolves eat? Cheese?
ME: No cheese. They're meat eaters. Probably anchovies. Or maybe livers.
WEREWOLF: Anchovies? Livers?!? YUCK! I hate livers. Give me bacon! Grrr! Bacon now or I'll suck your blood!
ME: That's vampires.
WEREWOLF: Vampires don't eat bacon.
ME: No, I mean vampires suck blood.
WEREWOLF: Really? I'm starting to think werewolves are kind of lame.
ME: Don't tell Team Jacob that.
WEREWOLF: Screw this. I'm a zombie!
ME: Can I call you Fido?
WEREW... er, ZOMBIE: Uuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
And with that, the werewol... um, I mean zombie, roamed off into the wilderness leaving my bacon and my brain safe for the time being. So remember, if you are traveling through the great state of North Carolina, keep an eye out. You never know what you might come across. And for Pete's sake, be sure you know how to get your camera into video mode!
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