Black Walls

I looked within to find myself
But I didn’t like what I saw
There were only pictures of me
Nailed to a lonely black wall
I had to walk away
I didn’t like the sound
The nails of my ego screeched
As they were being dragged down
I had to look outside
Maybe to another land
To find other people
To reach for another hand
But instead I looked near
Into the eyes of my friends
I found the world within
The love that they send

You wiped their tears when they wondered where Daddy was
You gave a home to a dog that lived in a cage
You took care of a man who doesn’t remember you were there
You gave to Jesus on the corner and helped soothe his rage

I found the answer
And tore down the walls
The pictures were laid to rest
I no longer heard their calls
But though it has been revealed
The walls draw nearer
The pictures cry out
And my ego looks for a mirror
For original sin lives
In the heart of a prideful man
And though I see your goodness
I remember who I am
I wonder what I am about
When I walk the same path
Why do I choose black walls
And beg for God’s wrath?

He showed me a painting of human perfection
But a blank canvas was all I could see
He said, “My image is of human emotion
And it is blank because you lack empathy”

I knew why my walls were black
For they absorbed every color
To love yourself as I did
Was to reflect nothing to another
Everything I experience
Is weighed against its effect on me
I walk around the rubble
Failing to see your feet underneath
I have valued my time here
Within an ant colony somehow I matter
My importance has taken on a life of its own
And yet I have never felt smaller
I’m trying to make you happy
But I don’t know you like I should
I have no idea where to start
Except where black walls once stood