'Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again. This time more intelligently.' - Henry Ford
This year 2014 had been tough for me. First, my mum was severely ill and was almost in the edge of death. Being away from her and seeing her online literally only skin and bones was remarkably painful. Second, you know when something you really passionate about and had your life focused on, and in a snap of a finger it will drastically change into something you can't imagine yourself in a situation.
I was betrayed by I thought a 'friend', a 'mentor', and almost a 'father-like' to me who had the biggest impact in my life. I was so disappointed by a fact that I trusted him with my life and my future. I was broken-hearted.
I come to a point where I started to doubt myself and almost lost my focus like the boy in the forest who is confused which way he goes, which way is the right path for him, and which way is the right move for him, as every turns with thorns and wild flowers and wild animals. Do you know that feeling when you are in a big forest on your own looking for something, but the wild animals can’t get off of you? They changed your life in an epic scale, but they also mean you harm. They will stamp you with this big giant feet of an old massive elephant and the poisonous snakes are ready to jump off towards you!
It's me. I made the biggest decision in my life to go there so I can better of my life. To even get there was already a horrendous experience, but I had tried again as I like a challenge. I like to try something new, something different, something unique, something people would say ‘impossible’ and I would be very much eager to do it, so I can proudly say to them and smile, “Hey, I did it! Sure you can!”
But I tell you that this beautiful and rather quiet forest is full of beautiful flowers like I've never seen in the world before. It is incredibly huge and so gorgeous. It is also magical like I was meant to be here. You know, you can also have all the fruits and flowers you want in here with all spectrums of colours and taste. It is indeed full of resources and there are lots of opportunities for me there. I believe there was no one living there and it is almost like a 'virgin forest' to me, because of its natural beauty and amazing scenery like you are in an entirely different planet or something. It was almost perfect I have to say.
But I realised that I cannot get out from this forest not until I must bravely face off those animals! I am scared. I am terribly scared that I will fail again and again. I am scared to fail in an epic scale. I am also scared I will die here on my own. Do you know that feeling too?
Now for four long years, I am still alone in this massive forest. No one came to help me. No one dares and I am sure no one will, because they put 'Strictly NO ENTRY' in the first line! But again I came in anyway wiling to discover what's in here and why and how it is dangerous! I observed the forest for almost 3 years before I went in, and it was actually a wonderful experience. However, I didn't realised until today that like life it has good and bad, happy and sad, winning and lossing, etc. Then the forest had changed. The trees trembles. The lightining strikes like a giant volt. The colour of the flowers dissipate and became grey and old.
That tragedy I was upset and gutted. I was lost and I was so confused. But somehow I hear a tiny voice inside of me like a whisper saying repeatedly 'you must follow the river', 'follow the river', 'the river'. So I ran fast and jumped into the river with big steam of a tree. The river flows really fast and I couldn't swim, but relied and hugged on the big steam. I just feel that I have to get out from here. I can feel the trees are trembling and the ground is shaking and I can hear huge steps behind me, but this ‘inner voice’ again said very loudly and clearly to me, “Go, go, go and don't look back!”. So I followed the river and managed to escape from the nightmare I hope I will never experience again!
I certainly learnt my biggest lesson in life so far. Now I come to a point that it is time to treat myself better. I learnt to accept the reality of things. I learnt to forgive and to keep my feet on the ground. And most importantly I learnt to give my all and leave that to the greater force other than myself, and not to get attached to the outcome so that I will not get disappointed when things will not turn out the way I wanted it and will only get surprised when things go on my favour!
On this entire journey, I can proudly say 'I did it! I'm sure you can too!'. Although I was in difficult times, but certainly it made me of who I am today. Maybe I had a little regrets at the time as I didn't realised it until recently, and because of those experiences good and bad, happy and sad, winning and lossing, etc like the nature of life cycle, I gained more self-respect and become aware of my worth. Now I am standing again from ashes with renewed ambition and positive outlook in life.
Like Henry Ford says, 'Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again. This time more intelligently.' So I am excited for 2015 which means a new year and new intelligent beginnings!
Thank you for reading this!
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