Blonde moments - Just a few funnies

Time for a good laugh

I’m a true blond at heart, and I know there are quite a few others out there as well.  As I get older they blond moments seem to becoming more and more frequently.   I’ve put together just a few of the better ones that could be put into words, to share.  Feel free to add your special blond moments in the comment section below.

Teresa and Jamie

Teresa and Jamie were in nursing class, looking at the biology book, the teacher teaching all about the kidney’s, bladders and ureters, the Human Urinary System. When the teacher pointed each organ out with her pointer, stating that there are 2 Kidney’s, 2 Ureters and 1 Bladder, Teresa excited raised her hand and yelled out loudly proclaiming that there was only 1 Ureter because that is where the baby comes from.


Jamie and Teresa were in geography class when the teacher asked the 18 year old SENIOR students how many States were there in the United States.  When one student raised their hand proclaimed “50 States”, Teresa proclaimed loudly with her hand waving in the air “NO!!!  It’s 52, we got Alaska and Hawaii now”.

Jamie and Sara

Jamie has always felt that Sara has 'blond' in every bone in her body.

Jamie has been a dear friend of mine for some time and both of our youngest children were in the same grade at the same school and due to graduate in June.  My daughter Sara in her blonde moment asked Jamie “Are you gonna come to my graduation?


THIS is what a chicken is...

But of course I have my blond moments!


Jamie was purchasing a new home and as she went looking around the yard was excited to report to me that her yard was full of chickens. I didn’t think much of that comment, until about 4 months later, she had mentioned her chickens from time to time during the course of our conversations though. In the spring when she was doing some yard work, she called me to tell me that her chickens had gone wild, there were hundreds of them! I was puzzled, I asked her if she was going to try and catch them and start collecting the eggs. She replied “Ummm Susie, these are the ‘chickens’ that are plants.” as she loudly began to laugh at my blond moment.

Suzanne

Suzanne is truly her mother's daughter!

We have had lots of birthday parties as you can imagine, with 5 kids it seems there is always a birthday coming around. With parties comes balloons, for me blowing up balloons after a while gets tiresome. I decided to make my life just a little bit easier so I bought one of those nifty balloon pumps. It’s cylindrical with a tip and works in the same fashion as a bicycle pump.

After the party’s over there is always something that gets left out and this time it was the balloon pump. Sitting in the living room watching TV, Catherine had the pump and was playing with it, pulling back the handle and pushing it in creating a swooshing sound and a little air in her face. Suzanne a true blonde under all that pretty brown hair said “Hey, you better quit that, you’re gonna run out of air!”


My Husband still likes feeding the squirrels

This was taken just a week ago
This was taken just a week ago

Squirrels

I lived in a small trailer park with my husband and 3 children (many moons ago), there were lots of trees and with that came lots of squirrels. My screen door didn’t latch properly, it was hooked with a hook and eye latch, this made it loose. The squirrels would hang on the screen and rattle the door wanting treats. I had purchased a 10 lb bag of nuts for my little friends and would spend about an hour a day cracking the nuts then putting little nutmeat piles on the porch for them. One day I was a little late in my nut cracking duties, and my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I was feeding the squirrels. He said “Yes, but why are you taking them out of the shells?” I said “Well how else are they going to be able to eat them, they don’t have nut crackers?” I watched as my husbands face began to change, first a little red, then slightly purple and I noticed he was attempting to contain his laughter. Finally he could keep it in no longer and he burst out laughing. I didn’t understand what was so funny, it took him several minutes to compose himself, with a lot of knee slapping and roaring in hilarity. He took a nut from me and said “Watch this.” He reached out the door with a nut, shell and all and handed it to the waiting squirrel. In seconds - SECONDS -the squirrel had popped open the nut and began eating the insides. After that, I just left the pile of nuts - shell and all on the porch.


A true Blond at heart - me!

When I was around 40 I decided to go to my local school bus transportation and apply for a job, I got the job but was required to get my class B CDL.  So to the DMV or in my state “The Secretary of State” office I went, to get my TIP - Temporary Instruction Permit.  I had read the book and prepared for my tests, so I was ready.  I sat in the school room size desk and took my test, when I was finished to took my test up to the counter to have my answers checked.  I passed, so I was taken to the area to have my picture taken.  Once all of this was complete and I had my new license in hand, I clapped my hands together and did some personal ’Yay’s’ with a little jump here or there.  As I looked around I noticed that the 15 or so people were laughing.  You realize at some moment in time that they aren’t laughing with you, they are laughing AT you.  After thinking it over for a few minutes I realized what they might have thought - “Awww, look at that 40 year old blond woman, she finally got her driver’s license”

Last but not least... Gotta love Nikki!

This particular story was sent in for submission to Readers Digest's "Laughter the Best Medicine" and sad to say was not selected.

After a fun day at Michigan’s Adventures theme park with 3 teenage girls, Catherine, Suzanne and Nikki, the ride home, turned out to be the most memorable part of the day. My eldest daughter Catherine, always insisted she ride up front, it had rained and after a hot day hanging out the window seemed just the thing for cooling off.

Catherine hanging out the window, turned to face the back of the car, Nikki was riding in the back seat stuck her head out the window as well. Catherine said to Nikki “Hey Nik, Spit at me” So of course kids being kids, she did. Nikki ended up having a face full of her own spit. The girls of course laughed at this, and not wanting to end the fun, Nikki in her infinite wisdom said “Hey Catherine - spit at me- spit at me!” - “Uh, No wait”.


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Comments 15 comments

Dusty89 profile image

Dusty89 6 years ago from Bedford MI

Good story funny like you said.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

Thanks Dustin - I see you got yourself a site, good! Now to get you some Hubs!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 6 years ago from Cotswold Hills

So when does Blonde turn to Senior moments and can you tell the difference I wonder ?

Doris was so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.

One day as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"

The shepherd, replied, "OK."

The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "384."

Being the correct number, the shepherd was amazed and said, "You're right. Okay. I will keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick."

After much consideration she finally picked one that was by far the cutest .

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you.

If I can guess your true hair colour, can I have my dog back?"


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

LOL!! Too funny! I love it!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

This comment was shared vis facebook - Her phone doesn't allow for her make them on here.

Jamie

Ok Susie I will give u MY OWN blonde moment ( I still get harrassed about this one at family fuctions) while married to my 1st husband we decided to build a deck on our house he recruited my brother and uncles and my brother in law Joe they... had been working for a few hours when Joe called me to run a errand for them...I was sent to pick up a left handed hammer..yes I packed up my sons who were 1 and 2 at the time and went to several hardware stores looking for a left handed hammer..the 3rd place I went to I asked a salesmen where they kept their left handed hammers...so everyone has their blonde moments even brunettes


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

I dunno, susie, would you say when a person has both blonde moments AND senior moments, he or she is in bad shape?

I'm thinking of a three blonde, senior neighbors. The first one said, "I often go upstairs to get something and then don't remember what it was."

The second said, "I start to call a friend on the phone and forget the correct phone number."

The third who was sitting at the breakfast table said, "I'm glad I'm not in bad shape like you two, thank God," as she "knocked wood" rapping her knuckles on the table. Then yelled, "Who's there?"


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

LOL - very funny! Yeah, senior moments... Not looking forward to those.. Knowing me, I'll have plenty! But then again I may not remember them.

Thanks for reading and commenting!


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

As I walk down the streets of Toronto, I see many "Blondes" obviously assisted by bleach, peroxide. Haven't seen one natural blonde in 62 years of living, at least not in Toronto, where I live.

The first time in my life I encountered a girl I thought was a blond, I asked,"So is it true blondes have more fun?" She quickly replied, "I don't know, you'll have to find one and ask her."

Dave.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

This is very funny. Thank you for the great blonde jokes! :0)


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

Well.... Umm.. (giggling here, these are TRUE stories...) hehehe... I am SOOOO blond!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Thank you so much for sharing these gems, they are priceless. I won't think of them when i go to town in a bit or I'll be laughing to myself walking down the street. You can just imagine the wary looks I'd receive. Keep them coming!! Take care.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan Author

Eiddwen - Thanks so much for stopping by, glad you enjoyed these. I'm sure as you go to town you will see a blond, doing a little something that will make you giggle! If you look for it... LOL Just be careful that you aren't the 'blond one'... hehehe


TazminianDevil 6 years ago from Kissimme,Florida

oh my God blond and having senior moments. I can't imagine


alicia gauna 4 years ago

OMG LMAO !!!!!!!


robes profile image

robes 4 years ago

Haha, that was a great read. I laughed all the way through, thanks!

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