Breaking Free

Source

Look in the mirror

What do you see

Do you see yourself

Or a fantasy

Not reality what

People have said

You are

Not really you

And you believed them

Every word

Every thought

A false

Representation

You are not

Those layers

Shed them free

They bind you

With fear

Drowning you

Killing you slowly


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Comments 26 comments

CurrentScience303 3 years ago from HighPoint, N.C.

I'm not a critique of poetry, however: the dimeter syllable/phrasing

of the verse is LOST in mere written {typed} form. I suggest placing punctuation to intone 'pause', or any sort of change in dynamics {suddenly loud, etc. / or 'reflexive', etc.,} much in the same way music notation uses dynamic(s) symbols: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamics_%28music%29 Then again, the default is if poetry, such as what you've just written, is to be 'interpreted' {in all aspects, from dynamics to metric-rhythm: by the person reading it}. - /// I've just used a basic (& overtly simplistic) Scientific Method into "how to properly interpret" written poetic-verse, from a completely out-side perspective {i.e. a person who knows nothing on the subject of the semantics of written poetry}. - feel free to let us know the implied dynamics/rhythmic-timing, -or- if indeed, your verse is meant to be purely interpreted by the reader....


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

This one makes me stop and reflect on myself. Very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Hi Current my poetry is written in free verse and has no rules attached to it. I like to have the reader interpret my poetry in way way that is beneficial for them. Thanks for the critique and comment. :)

Hi Shanmarie thank you for your kind comment. :)


midget38 profile image

midget38 3 years ago from Singapore

This is why pretending to be who you are not is painful. Thanks for sharing, Caroline, this powerful write.


blondey profile image

blondey 3 years ago

Interesting poem for sure about realizing who we truly are and how life is not a magic tale of perfection but if we can see ourselves and love ourselves we are truly rich indeed.


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

I am but a mere purveyor of words myself and do not pretend to know what can be going through a womans mind when she writes such free verse words as these, that take me into another world ,words that set my heart spinning with a certain fantasy of what is and what can be.

I love your poetry and think it is fantastic, please keep writing and don't listen to some scientific jibber- jab.

Michael


torrilynn profile image

torrilynn 3 years ago

caroline,

beautiful poem that you have here

I enjoyed reading

Voted up


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

A wonderful freeverse and voted up.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

Caroline you simply have a poetic mind I loved it!!!


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Hi Midget thank you so much! :)

Hi Blondey thank you for reading and stopping by! :)

Hi Michael thank you for all your support! :)

Hi Current no offense taken! :)

Hi Torrilyn thank you for taking time out to read. :)

Hi Eiddwen thank you so much! :)

Hi Frank thanks for the compliment! :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Well what can i say? Except that i love your poetry and i love the metaphor of breaking free from any type of bondage, such as, fear, love, hate, and the last comments that are out-of-place...Bravo..


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thank you Ruby for your constant and positive support. :)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Wonderful poetry. I believe we are always trying to break free....


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

We can and should be free--lovely write Caroline!


dreamseeker2 3 years ago

A great poem on self-reflection and how we see ourselves maybe through others. Voted up and awesome! : )


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

omg - your talent gives me goosebumps!

You have a way with words that sets you apart, Caroline - you cut through the incidentals and get to the heart of the matter!

Breaking binds is for the strong and courageous - that gorgeous picture exemplifies this perfectly!

voting up and sharing forward!


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

wow! such truth in these words. A thought provoking poem on self-reflection. voted up!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Great writing, and the form works just fine for me too. We should all be able to see ourselves as clearly as possible, though we are often our harshest critics.


Poetic Fool 3 years ago

Caroline,

I, for one, enjoy the style in which you wrote this. There is a place for rules in poetry just as there is a place from freedom and fluidity, like here.

The message of your verse is so true. We do try to conform to the image that people have of us. It's easy to believe we are the way we are perceived. It's not so easy to break free of it, is it? We are raised from birth not to disappoint others yet we must be true to ourselves. Your poem is a call to shed the veneers and find our core beneath. Well done and thought provoking. Voted up and more!


eddiecarrara profile image

eddiecarrara 3 years ago from New Hampshire

The self image is extremely powerful, it just might be the greatest power humans have. Great poem, up and interesting :)


cherylone profile image

cherylone 3 years ago from Connecticut

I love how you put life into prospective with this one. We all do tend to believe what others say about us rather what we know to be true. Great poem.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 3 years ago from Texas

Your verse says a lot and emphasizes the importance of being honest with ourselves. We all love praise but it can be damaging at times. Nicely done. ~WB


gmaoli profile image

gmaoli 3 years ago from South Carolina

"Those layers, shed them free." Too many of us live under the fear of being who we truly are to the outside world, so make ourselves behave and speak as someone else. Well spoken words as always! I'll need to share this one!


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Gypsy thank you. :)

Audrey thank you. :)

Dreamseeker thank you. :)

Leslie thank you. :)

Lovedoctor thank you. :)

XStatic thank you. :)

Poetic Fool thank you. :)

Eddie thank you. :)

Cheryl thank you. :)

Wayne thank you. :)

Gmaoli thank you. :)


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 3 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

I know what it is like to look in the mirror and see a person I needed to be, a closeted me who needed to wake up and stopped hiding my true self from others. It is difficult but not impossible. Thanks to my friends and people who cared about me, I was successful, and I broke those chains.

I can relate to these words so much, Caroline. I echo the sentiment that we all have to own up to who we truly are, because that falseness does drown us slowly. It is such a simple yet powerful message. I love that words can lend themselves to many interpretations. This is a wonderful hub.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thank you for your beautiful comment Astra. Those are perfect words that you described "that falseness does drown us slowly". This was about so many people who become someone else for a relationship to someone and to others themselves. I'm glad you had great friends who let you know it was okay to be the real you. :)

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