Breathing Moments of Hell

Everyone knows that I have struggled in my past relationship, well my only relationship that I have ever had. What made me and broke me. Nikkij504gurl pointed out that I should write a bio on myself so I pondered on it and thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea, but then I thought well if I do that there is going to be no holds bars, I tell it all or I don’t tell anything. So I decided to open up a chapter in my life and let it go. Many of you may have never thought to think of me in this way but it is my truth and truth will set me free. There is more to bellawritter23 then what I have told and I am about to give you a pass into the lair of what my life used to be. I hope that I am not looked at any differently because I am a changed person and do not desire anything from my past. I have grown strong in spirit in faith and in belief. So follow along and you will read one encounter of the life of bellawritter23.

It was November 7, 2007 and my cousin was turning 21 (The big 2…..1) my aunt was having her a surprise birthday party at a really expensive restaurant banquet hall and my ex husband and I attended. We had a blast of a time we danced drank and enjoyed the time we had with each other (which we really didn’t do too much) he wasn’t the type to enjoy a day with me. Everywhere we went it turned into a fight and blood bath. I would rather just stay home but even when we did stay home it still ended up in a fight one way or another I couldn’t prevent it from happening.

Well our night concluded decent I couldn’t complain. As we pulled out of the drive way from the restaurant we saw my cousin and her boyfriend arguing over my little sister. Now my little sister is a very pretty girl and has a very flirtatious persona, well that didn’t sit too well with my cousin and well they had it out, anyhow back to my story, I asked them both to get into the car because I didn’t want the police to come and question them (police station was at the corner). Well we decided to go back to my place and have a few more drinks and to score crystal meth (my ex husband an addict for over 17 years) He was an active gang member so he was pretty well known in his neighborhood. So we decided to go there and see what we found. I had a bit too much to drink and was on a different level than the other three. We approach the city/neighborhood we were supposed to go and my ex pulls up alongside a building where all these guys were tagging (tagging is another word used for graffiti) on the walls he didn’t know them but assumed they where youngsters from the neighborhood. Well when we pulled up alongside they all took matters into their hands and interpreted it as an ambush.

Apparently there was about 6-7 guys and ran to the car parked waiting for them. I was not feeling well and really didn’t know what was going on like I mentioned I was too too drunk to understand what was happening. I decided to open my door and hang over because my seat belt was holding me in to throw up. Well these guys felt threatened and decided they wanted to play a little game. My ex was letting me do my thing when he realized a bullet hit the car. He forgot I was hanging out the car and sped off. Well it turns out 3 shot guns where used and one aimed at my head because I was the target. A bullet hit the side of the car and left a hole the size of a bowling ball, which was approximately 1 cm away from where my head was at. When the gun was fired and when it hit so close everything went silent and a loud ringing noise was heard. I couldn’t hear myself I knew I was screaming because I couldn’t hear. To my recollection we were hit more than a dozen times.

I had pieces of the metal shrapnel of the car on my eye lids. I had scrapes on my face from it flying over me. Our car looked like if none of us should have made it. I couldn’t hear anything for the rest of the night and the day that followed. Could I have had my head blown off YES, all for what…..trying to score some drugs? I would have left 3 children and a family that loved me to death. The next morning looking at my car and the damage caused was nothing compared to still breathing. I believe that I had an angel on my side protecting me and shielded me from death. The police said if we had been one foot closer my head would have been blown to pieces. Thinking that I would have had a closed casket burial and the anguish my family would have gone through.

Did this experience change my life and did I learn to appreciate it? No it didn’t

Did I stop using drugs after it happened? No I didn’t.

Did I stop drinking and partying? No I didn’t.

All answers where no. I had two people to blame myself and my ex.

What ever happened to me? I fell in love with a struggling boy.

I never thought I'd do it.....

Why did I do the things I did....





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Comments 13 comments

nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

it can be hard to journey back, to look at the why we did things, to realise how close to darkness we really where. this is a brave write and I encourage you to keep going, maybe your story will help others break away from their own dark paths


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 5 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Good job, Bella. I agree with Nighthag, and encourage you to continue with your story.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Nighthag, I do want to write but affraid of what opinions I might be struck with. I t is hard to keep an image and not be judged by your action I will continue and will see where it goes thank you for the warm and sweet comment I appreciate it.

Sub, I will continue I think thanks for the comment AS ALWAYS YOUR THE BEST.

BELLA


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

Yay! No bars held! Write that autobiography girl, I will even edit it for you if you want. anything i can do to help just let me know. You know my email. anywayz. you told this story before on hubpages didnt you? I remember reading about it before. and commenting on it. That must have been scary, and I am so glad you have a great guardian angel, had you met youre father before this? had he passed away already? perhaps it was him, watching over you now that he could.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

I did but I didnt tell the truth as to why we ended up in that city there was withheld information and this one well its raw and pure truth. My dad passed in 2004. So possibly he was my guradian angel. Thanks sunshine for encouraging.

bella aka blossom.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

ah ok i didnt remember the whole story i just knew i had read about the shooting before well I am glad you are telling the truth and if you do write that bio, thats how it should be, raw and pure truth. I think it would be a bestseller. I think he is, I believe my brother is mine. he died before i was born when he was just 2 days old, and though i never met him i feel he has always been here with me.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

lol Sunshine you are too kind to me. I do at times feel my life is a sad sad story but then would I have come to writing if it wasn't for him eeeyy?? Who knows I dont but Im gonna keep writing till my hands fall off one day I will be famous and rise with the stars I know it and feel it.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

What person amoung us can judge you? ( No-one is without sin ) Alcohol, Drugs, Gluttony, they are all the same, one is no worse than the other, to me, judging another ranks at the top. I hope you will tell your story. I know when i write about something, a hurt in the past, i feel better. Some people write it down then burn it , i chose to share mine in order to help another who might have had the same thing happen. Thank you for sharing.

Blessings


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

hopefully i will be right there with ya! lol


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

You will along side :)


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Always, I understand what you say but some don't they judge like if there is no tomorrow. I am guilty of it but I try to hold what I feel when I find I am judging. Would that be called judging if you are expressing your opinion on the situation?? Thanks for stopping by sweet friend!!

bella


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

You were shot at and thank heaven you are alive and you survived, Bella. You were in a dangerous situation. The angels were watching over you that day. You are lucky. I think you are doing the right thing by talking about it. It puts it there in the world, and it falls into context. We can judge our actions better when they are there in black and white. When we start facing our issues we becomes capable and enabled somehow...I find that with writing too. Loved reading this. I learned some new things here. You have had an amazing life. My life is tame compared to the things that happened to you, Bella. Wow. It puts things in proportion.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Astra, My life the hellish roller coaster from the bottom of the pits. I wish things were tame in my life and to come to think hey I wouldn't have been here today. I thank you for the kind words you speak of me and thank you.

bella

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