Brooklyn's 44th

The body was found,

less than a mile from downtown,

and on the fringes

of the better part of the city,

Brooklyn’s 44th,

and what a pity,

a mentally challenged female

was the victim,

butchered on her left side,

eyes opened, mouth wide,

she was hitch-hiking,

just looking for a ride,

robbed, raped, it would seem,

as the lead detective

was the last one at the scene,

she was strangled with jumper cables,

as the rich looked on,

as they lingered at small tables

on restaurant terraces,

sipping coffee and tea,

some whispering glad it wasn’t me,

a retarded young woman left on the curb,

and they felt bothered, disturbed,

as they chatted on their lap-tops,

and cell phones,

bubble gum pops,

voices with rich people tones,

hoping it’ll all end soon,

so they could go back to the sunny

warmth of a lovely July afternoon.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 30 comments

writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

This poor girl shouldn't have hitching for a ride. I hope they have caught the butcher.

Vote up and AWESOME great writer, Joyce.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

The contrasts here are so well drawn. "The rich looked on" with their "rich people tones," and their rich people toys, phones & laptops, so put off by this distraction, the wanton murder of a young woman with few options in life.

Great hard-hitting writing Frank!


Valleypoet 4 years ago

'Not on our doorstep please' is the rallying cry from the inconvenienced bourgeois......appears to be the message emanating from this poem Frank. The privileged are 'bothered, disturbed'....because they have witnessed such a hideous crime, but they are 'hoping it will end soon'....so they can return to their otherwise ordered lives.

I think most of us, do, to a certain extent, distance ourselves as best we can from the harsh realities of life, perhaps it is just human nature to do so. This one got me thinking Frank, let me echo Xstatic above and say Great hard-hitting writing...thank you:-))


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Such vivid report of a story, cleverly put in a poem! Impressive, Frank! Great job..... You should start writing a novel! :)

Voting up and awesome!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much Joyce for making yet another appearence on my page.. and thank you X-man and Valleypoet for your wonderful comments.. and I really appreciate th visits.. Lathing you are just going to make my ego explode...LOL thank you and bless you


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

another suspenseful and exciting and sad poem.. I love your poems.. Did you see CSI and criminal minds last night? they remind me of your poems.. hugs from Tennessee

Debbie


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Frank....You captured perfectly within this poem the apathy of the haves for the have-nots, the lack of compassion even for victims of brutal crimes if the unpleasantness of a dead body detracts from their "rich people's" activities.

I'm generalizing, of course, which is always dangerous, but there are far too many whose lack of empathy is characterized by your verses--feeling "bothered" and "hoping it will all end soon" so the ugliness won't intrude on their own lives. This attitude prevails, not only in the cities, but all over this land, and it signals a frightening loss of humanity.

Voted Up++ and shared. Jaye


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

Isn't that just how it is? It really is.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This was a hard hitter Frank. What can I say that already hasn't been said here. It's apalling but it happens, their lunches are ruined by all the bother, but never mind they will have forgotten all about it by the time they go out to dinner.

You have a real gift of presenting such vivid imagery with these natative poems that always make us stop and think.

Great job.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Our Ms Brooks and no I haven't seen CSI yet this fall.. :) and Jay thank you for visiting my Brooklyn's 44th good to see you and Jackie and Rosemay doggie and baby thank you for stopping by bless you all :) Frank


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Know these stories well. Seems crime should happen only in the dark of night but cities will eat you up even in the light of day and no one ever knows for sure what lingers there. Your super poems could be made into a crime series for sure. Passing this on.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Great write Frank! In the city in which I work and formerly lived, the crime is increasing in broad daylight, as they are so brazen, almost as if they are saying, look what I am doing, so what? Another vivid piece of awesome writing. Voted Up In His Love, Faith Reaper


girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

sad poem, very well depicts the crimes in the night, very well presented hub, voted interesting


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

I couldn't have said it better Gypsy Rose Lee.. thank you and Faith Reaper Brooklyn is still and always will be the Garden spot of the world! LOL thanks for the visit and girishpuri thank for stopping by and commenting bless you


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Frank, wow! This was very vivid, scary even! It can happen at any time, any day, any hour. I just always wonder how someone can have the capability of watching another person die? That would have to be a stone cold trait. Always great Frank. Voted up, awesome, and interesting.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for stopping by thelyricwriter :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Amazing my friend.

hoping it’ll all end soon,

so they could go back to the sunny

warmth of a lovely July afternoon.

A great ending too.

Enjoy your weekend.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Eddy bless you :)


Jlava73 profile image

Jlava73 4 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

Frank,

Everytime I read a piece of yours I am captivated. How you explore the dark recesses of inhumanity and cruelty - never denying the potential - ever shedding light on apathy and fear and mankind's wish to turn a blind eye on it all.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank Jlava.. what a wonderful comment bless you :)


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Don't rain on their Parade, or in this "Case" (pardon the pun)...their Sunny Day. Frank you are the Master of this form of Poetry. A whole story, from start to finish, in just a few lines. One again, you are Amazing!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

b. Malin thank you so much that meant alot bless you


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Hey sweet friend.. here is a a special hub. you are a star. in fact my first star

http://hubpages.com/community/My-200th-Hub-Spreadi...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

I will check it out Our Ms Brooks..:)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Frank, this poem contain wonderful dramatic irony.

Great read.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks again VG ...:)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Frank you highlight the distain the rich seem to have for people in their plight. You cloaked it in one of your award winning poems, but this seemed to have a duel message.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much mck :)


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

gosh...you just me ponder on how cruel mankind can be.

intricate description, well done, Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Ruch for reading my stuff this evening bless you :)

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