Kenneth Avery's Secret Fantasy . . .

SADLY, THIS IS ME. AND HOW I LOOK.

I MAY LOOK HAPPY, BUT INSIDE I'M FUMING WITH RESENTMENT BECAUSE I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A FAMOUS MALE CELEBRITY.
I MAY LOOK HAPPY, BUT INSIDE I'M FUMING WITH RESENTMENT BECAUSE I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A FAMOUS MALE CELEBRITY.

THESE ARE SOME OF THE CELEBRITIES THAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE:

I LOVED JOE FRAZIER. I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAD HIS FIGHTING TALENTS. R.I.P., JOE. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE CHAMP TO ME.
I LOVED JOE FRAZIER. I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAD HIS FIGHTING TALENTS. R.I.P., JOE. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE CHAMP TO ME.
THE DUKE, JOHN WAYNE. I NEED NOT LIST THE REASONS WHY I'D LOVE TO BE LIKE WAYNE.
THE DUKE, JOHN WAYNE. I NEED NOT LIST THE REASONS WHY I'D LOVE TO BE LIKE WAYNE.
STEVE MARTIN. THE MASTER OF ABSTRACT THOUGHT. I COULD HAVE MY CHOICE OF GIRLS, CARS, AND HOMES IF I WERE AS FUNNY AS MARTIN.
STEVE MARTIN. THE MASTER OF ABSTRACT THOUGHT. I COULD HAVE MY CHOICE OF GIRLS, CARS, AND HOMES IF I WERE AS FUNNY AS MARTIN.
COLIN FARRELL. WHAT HOT LADY WOULDN'T GO FOR ME IF I LOOKED LIKE FARRELL?
COLIN FARRELL. WHAT HOT LADY WOULDN'T GO FOR ME IF I LOOKED LIKE FARRELL?

I DON'T APPRECIATE THE OLD 'ME'

Okay. So now I'm God. Creator. Designer of all people, places and things. I'm only pretending fo for the basis of my story. Believe me, if "I" were God, and it came time to make "me," I would have a few drastic-but-grand changes. Changes that would make me love myself more than I do now. Fact is, I have never in 57 years of living, been happy with myself--in any way. I cannot stand how I smile, laugh, walk, or even talk to people. And to God, I offer my deepest apologies. I know that you, Father, do what's best and you always know best, but just humor me for a few minutes as I offer some feasible suggestions on how "I" would have loved to been made by you.

See the artwork to the right of those models acting the part of "cool" guys? Well, I would have given my real name to look like one of these guys. Honest to God. These guys are who girls of all ages and sizes love to have in their fantasies. Am I right or am I right? I am right. So if I were God, I would start with the basic "cool" body design that these guys have and the guy in the top picture, I would put his hair on my head. That's a fantastic start I think.

FOR THE SMILE - I would choose the smile of someone like Colin Farrell, the young man actor who has made several hit movies including Miami Vice with Jamie Foxx. Farrell has the ideal smile and can drink loads of booze and still show up for his movie work early the next day without feeling the effects of a severe hangover. Yes. Farrell's smile I would plant on my mug.

FOR MY COURAGE AND BRAVERY - I would, of course, choose John "The Duke" Wayne. Need I say more? Unless "Duke's" design was taken, then I would choose the courage and bravery of Audie Murphy, the World War II hero and movie star. He was as the ideal role for bravery and courage. I think I would settle with Murphy's courage and bravery, UNLESS I could have John Wayne's special brand of Western nerve. Either one would be fine by me.

FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOR - I would choose "the master" of abstract thought, Steve Martin, the comedy genius in his stand-up comedy days. Martin is still sharp when it comes to wit and thowing out one-liners to amuse any audience. Yes, Steve Martin's sense of humor is the choice I make in order to be the "life of any party" whenever I choose to.

AS MY BODY SHAPE AND BUILD - I would want to be built like Dave Draper, a former Mr. Universe who was literally made of pure muscle and strength. Draper could demand respect anywhere he went--including smoky-bars with shady, rough characters who were inside acting as customers. I have always dreamed of just sauntering inside one of these "dives", walk slowly up to the bar, tap a roughneck on his shoulder and tell him one time, "You're standing in my place, so get lost!" And watch as he shivered with fear at my six-foot, three-inch body of muscles cowering over him. And I suppose to make this personal fantasy even better, I would get free drinks all night long and never get intoxicated because I have Colin Farrell's alcohol-consumption ability.

FOR MY MUSICAL TALENT - I would want the songwriting talent of Paul Simon, Don McClean, and Johnny Cash. And for the instrument I would master in life, I would choose, without any hesitation, the Fender Telecaster played by Jimi Hendrix. Oh yes, I would want Jimi's talent for playing guitar and John Lennon's singing talent. I would be the happiest man in the universe if this were possible. I'm sitting here right now at my PC almost in tears from longing to be like Jimi and John.

I WOULD NEED THE SELF-DEFENSE ABILITIES - of martial arts master, Bruce Lee and the boxing talent of Joe Frazier. Why not Muhammad Ali? I simply liked Frazier better for he was the champion of the common man and not flashy. I would love that.

FOR MY SMALL-TALK TALENT - I would choose the one and only "king of late-night," the late, Johnny Carson who was the all-time master at making small-talk or any talk with anyone from anywhere in the world. I would need this small-talk ability for all the parties that I would be attending as the 'new me.'

MY SPIRITUAL LIFE WOULD BE - that of world-renown evangelist, Billy Graham who is so studied in the Bible that he can quote scripture in his sleep. I envy that in Graham and anyone who is this disciplined in the area of spirituality.

I guess that does it. I cannot think of anyone else's talent that I would want to add to these talents to make a 'new me.'

That wasn't as hard as I imagined it would be. And talk about happy. I would be so happy with the 'new me' that I would travel the world telling people how happy I was (now) that I was completely redesigned.

But now I am being hit with another one of God's best and sometimes-coldest creations: REALITY that makes me realize that all I have dreamed of being is just that. A dream. And even with the most-expensive plastic surgery and reconstruction, I would never be built and look as good as if I had taken God's place in making 'me.'

I literally despise mirrors.

Of These Following Celebrities, Which One Would I Look Like With Plastic Surgery?

  • Colin Farrell
  • Brad Pitt
  • Pierce Bronson
  • John Goodman
See results without voting

Why I Do Not Like "me"

 
 
 
FACE
LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE PLASTIC
WANT MY FACE TO LOOK SEXY
BODY
LOOKS LIKE TEST DUMMY
BODY SHOULD BE LIKE BRAD PITT'S
HAIR
VERY THINNING-UGLY
SHOULD BE FULL.

"THANK YOU FOR READING THIS HUB!"

ME, KENNETH AVERY. CURRENTLY LOOKING LIKE THIS.
ME, KENNETH AVERY. CURRENTLY LOOKING LIKE THIS.

WHO SAYS THAT I CANNOT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE ELSE?

With billions of bucks, a man or woman can live the dream. The dream that they have always wanted.

I know that God formed the look I have. And this is in no way, a knock on The Master Architect, but I would love to hear fans, mostly girls, scream when I made a public appearance to shop for clothes or a car. And scream when I look at them with "that certain look." What normal male wouldn't?

This hub is dedicated to a dream. A dream of looking like someone famous. Not having to go through life looking like me.

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