Butterflies in the Stomach
I was talking to a friend of mine last night who was telling me about the "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. How when you feel them it means that you are going in the right direction in life. This really made me think about everything that has happened in my life up until now. It made me take a personal inventory which I am not done with. I can tell you that the cloud that I was stuck in is getting much clearer. My life is shifting in new ways that it wasn't before. Things are happening that would bring me a lot of fear in the past and I can feel myself getting stronger and moving past that fear.
Ugghh... Fear. My biggest enemy. Fear stopped me from moving on in my life when I should have. Fear made me question myself and my decisions. Fear made me believe what other negative people were saying was true. Fear made me insecure. Fear I have learned is a huge handicap on the soul. My fear has taught me a lot.
I tend to get caught up in unhealthy patterns, as we all do in some form or another. These patterns can make us feel stuck. They can be a kind of "safe haven" from fear. Which may even build up more fear in us. I was caught in a pattern for a big part of the last seven or eight years that makes me wonder now where did all that time go? Sometimes I catch myself regretting this and that during that time. Thinking about what a different person I was at the time and how lost I actually was when I didn't feel lost at that time. It's funny how life works. You think you will be one thing, but end up being another. You think you're going one way, but end up going the opposite way. It can be frustrating and defeating at times.
The toughest, most heartbreaking moments that I can remember during this time was the lack of love from the people I was surrounding myself with. I was dealing with huge issues at the time such as people very close to me dying and changes that were wearing on the heart. The worst part was that I was surrounded by a bunch of superficial, false, and selfish people who were very negative energy. Everyday these people would take a little more from me, sucking me dry of what little energy I had left. You can tell when you are around negative people. They leave you with a bad feeling in the gut. Almost like the butterflies in the stomach feeling, but in a dragging you down instead of uplifting you kind of way. Those people were so hard on my soul. Getting rid of them saved me.
I can not stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with positive, loving, and supportive people in your life. Negative people can ruin your life. They can make you depressed and make you insecure and question yourself. Even when you don't think they are that bad, that they're not doing much harm, they are. Especially those who are purposely abusive. Abusive people love to tear down your spirit and make you feel like you are nothing. It's like being around evil. They lie, they cheat, they rage, and try and beat you down until there is nothing left. Abusive people don't care about you, they only care about themselves and their power. They get power from controlling you. They thrive on vulnerability and when they see an opening where they can crawl in, they do it if you let them. If you know anybody like that, it's best to severe the ties, even if it's hard at the time. You will be saving yourself.
I've known some pretty bad people in my lifetime, which makes me happy now that the time is over now. It was a learning experience to say the least. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with those people now, being in an abusive relationship of any kind, someone who is unfaithful to you, fake friends, or family members that hurt you. Nobody deserves to be treated less than anybody else by anyone. We should love each other and treat each other with love and respect always.
I was away for awhile from hubpages in the summer. I am happy that when I came back I was welcomed by my loyal friends on hubpages. You guys really make me feel good. Whenever I read your comments and see the loyal support I get warm inside. You are all so special. I am glad I met you. I will be checking on your hubs and leaving feedback soon. What a strong support system here. I love it. Wishing all of you all the best in everything. :)
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