Butterflies in the Stomach

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I was talking to a friend of mine last night who was telling me about the "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. How when you feel them it means that you are going in the right direction in life. This really made me think about everything that has happened in my life up until now. It made me take a personal inventory which I am not done with. I can tell you that the cloud that I was stuck in is getting much clearer. My life is shifting in new ways that it wasn't before. Things are happening that would bring me a lot of fear in the past and I can feel myself getting stronger and moving past that fear.

Ugghh... Fear. My biggest enemy. Fear stopped me from moving on in my life when I should have. Fear made me question myself and my decisions. Fear made me believe what other negative people were saying was true. Fear made me insecure. Fear I have learned is a huge handicap on the soul. My fear has taught me a lot.

I tend to get caught up in unhealthy patterns, as we all do in some form or another. These patterns can make us feel stuck. They can be a kind of "safe haven" from fear. Which may even build up more fear in us. I was caught in a pattern for a big part of the last seven or eight years that makes me wonder now where did all that time go? Sometimes I catch myself regretting this and that during that time. Thinking about what a different person I was at the time and how lost I actually was when I didn't feel lost at that time. It's funny how life works. You think you will be one thing, but end up being another. You think you're going one way, but end up going the opposite way. It can be frustrating and defeating at times.

The toughest, most heartbreaking moments that I can remember during this time was the lack of love from the people I was surrounding myself with. I was dealing with huge issues at the time such as people very close to me dying and changes that were wearing on the heart. The worst part was that I was surrounded by a bunch of superficial, false, and selfish people who were very negative energy. Everyday these people would take a little more from me, sucking me dry of what little energy I had left. You can tell when you are around negative people. They leave you with a bad feeling in the gut. Almost like the butterflies in the stomach feeling, but in a dragging you down instead of uplifting you kind of way. Those people were so hard on my soul. Getting rid of them saved me.

I can not stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with positive, loving, and supportive people in your life. Negative people can ruin your life. They can make you depressed and make you insecure and question yourself. Even when you don't think they are that bad, that they're not doing much harm, they are. Especially those who are purposely abusive. Abusive people love to tear down your spirit and make you feel like you are nothing. It's like being around evil. They lie, they cheat, they rage, and try and beat you down until there is nothing left. Abusive people don't care about you, they only care about themselves and their power. They get power from controlling you. They thrive on vulnerability and when they see an opening where they can crawl in, they do it if you let them. If you know anybody like that, it's best to severe the ties, even if it's hard at the time. You will be saving yourself.

I've known some pretty bad people in my lifetime, which makes me happy now that the time is over now. It was a learning experience to say the least. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with those people now, being in an abusive relationship of any kind, someone who is unfaithful to you, fake friends, or family members that hurt you. Nobody deserves to be treated less than anybody else by anyone. We should love each other and treat each other with love and respect always.

I was away for awhile from hubpages in the summer. I am happy that when I came back I was welcomed by my loyal friends on hubpages. You guys really make me feel good. Whenever I read your comments and see the loyal support I get warm inside. You are all so special. I am glad I met you. I will be checking on your hubs and leaving feedback soon. What a strong support system here. I love it. Wishing all of you all the best in everything. :)

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Comments 23 comments

Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Wow Caroline, this is so well said and so appropriate to many peoples lives. I can relate to this so well as my last 6 years have been a nightmare surrounded by those negative people. Now every morning I go outside and breathe the fresh air and thank god for another day and for the gift of seeking to be that whom I really am.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Hi Curiad. Isn't it great to find your true self? Thank you for the great comment. :)


lovebuglena profile image

lovebuglena 4 years ago from Staten Island, NY

Interesting hub. The things you talk about in hub others can surely relate to. Thanks for sharing.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

well it appears you got all angles covered hope you had a great summer and welcome back.. what a great Hub to kick it all off ..


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

A girl named Gloria, who I never had a relationship with, cured me of butterflies forever. I agree with you this place and its members are very supportive.


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

I can very much feel you there Carol. I like how you said: "It's funny how life works. You think you will be one thing, but end up being another."

And, those toxic people--we all must beware. Something to keep in mind, don't allow them to drag you down and drain your energy.

Sordid yet you've expressed your thoughts so beautifully in this hub. Up and all except funny; will be sharing as well.

Peace and love to you.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Caroline, I am happy to see you back on HP. I can relate about negative people bringing you down. I have a family member who does that to me. I am learning to speak up, not letting her get me down, instead i act overly joyful around her and it works. So you go Girl, more power my friend..


craiglyn profile image

craiglyn 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

What a wonderful Hub. I've been there and done that -and I totally agree, being around people with bad energy can really take you down - as you say it sucks all the energy right out of you. You know how when you pass someone in the mall and they smile ad you - you automatically smile right back - that's the kind of energy we want, kind, supportive and compassionate. Love this hub - thank you.


Laurinzo Scott profile image

Laurinzo Scott 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

Fake friends , people that abandon you, and negative people ...wow; it seems as if you were reading my life of late. I will tell you though; I really found this hub helpful reading, and I think i'll read it a few more times. Great stuff!

Laurinzo


Casimiro 4 years ago

Caroline, thank you for sharing your message. It probably wasn't the easiest thing to do. It's wonderful that you stepped beyond your fear and into a better situation. Negative thinking is so contagious so you have to put yourself in quarantine sometimes.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Very well put. There are people you are glad to be around and people who you just want to get away from Glad to see you back on hubpages. Here's to many more hubs to share.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

I so understand what you mean! Those 'butterflies' often feel more the size of bats! I too took a long break(2 months) earlier in the spring and wondered if i would ever find my way back! hubpages is a special community where i feel that people actually care about each other! Stay strong and cut out as much negativity as you can! So glad we're both back, dear!


girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

you meet many, some test you, some use you, some teach you, but the most important are, who bring out the best in you, God bless...


SommerDalton profile image

SommerDalton 4 years ago

Voted up and everything besides funny! This is so amazing and very useful! Beautifully written and so true. I had so many people a year ago I was trying to help and do things for and the toll it took on me was big. Now when I step back its like how did that ever start? Amazing hub!


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

@ Hi love thank you. :)

@ Hi Frank thank you. :)

@ Hi Mhatter thank you. :)

@ Hi Crissp thank you. :)

@ Hi Ruby thank you. Great tactic to use on those people. :)

@ Hi Craiglyn thank you. So very true. :)

@ Hi Laurinzo thank you so much. Glad it helped. :)

@ Hi Casimiro thank you. Your words are so true. :)

@ Hi Gypsy thank you. Cheers to you. :)

@ Hi ImKarn thank you! Yes I am too. You are sooo hilarious. I don't know what I would do without reading your poems. :)

@ Hi Girish thank you! You are so right. Bless you. :)

@ Hi Sommer thank you! Great that you got out of those situations. :)


stessily 4 years ago

caroline, Lately I've been thinking of some of your thought pieces and wishing that you would write another, so it's a wish come true that you wrote this!

This sentence touches me for its painful truth: "how lost I actually was when I didn't feel lost at that time".

Your compassion is so finely tuned that it lights up your writings with an innate elegance, even those which traverse the gauntlet of pain: betrayal, cruelty, disappointment, etc.

Is time ever truly wasted? That question has elusive answers, at least from the perspective of earthly existence. If time is a way of marking progress, then your growth is possibly more significant than time spent on the path which transformed you. And the path swerves in ways that seem incomprehensible, seem to be impossible and even contradictory. It's those mysterious ways again. As you note: "You think you will be one thing, but end up being another. You think you're going one way, but end up going the opposite way."

Beautifully conceived and presented!

Appreciatively, Stessily


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thank you Stessily for your wonderful analyzation. I don't believe time is ever really wasted, although it can sometimes feel that way in our minds. I always love your presence at my hubs dear friend. :)


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

Your hub speaks very wise words. It is so important to surround ourselves with supportive and loving people. The sooner we recognize those toxic ones, the better off we are.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thanks so much Tokowinfo. :)


xanzacow profile image

xanzacow 4 years ago from North Myrtle Beach, SC

Encouraging and uplifting! Thank you for sharing!


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thank you Xanzacow. :)


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

Hello Caroline,

Thought I'd drop by, return the compliment and see what you've been getting up to. This seemed as good a Hub as any.

You know what they say, 'been there, done that, got the tee-shirt', well I've been dipped in the deep a few times myself with so-called 'friends'. Interesting how the abusive ones need others more but can't appreciate what's been done for them.

There's a song that the troops used to sing, 'Pack up yer troubles in an old kit bag and smile, boy, smile...!' Applies just as much to girls.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thank you Alancaster! :)

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