Charlie's Woman


By: Wayne Brown

I got a call from Charlie, his voice whispered quiet and low

Get on over here right away, there something I need to show

Someone just showed up and is right here by my side

Come on over and see, I got me a new mail order bride


Well, I threw down the phone and off to Charlie’s’ I did run

Meetin’ a woman from a foreign country would be a lot of fun

I did not stop to knock the door just ran right on inside

Yelling out to Charlie, where’s that new mail order bride?


I looked all around the room not a woman was in sight

Then I thought, ol Charlie’s pullin’ my leg again all right

Charlie just made all this story up, like a dog he lied

He ain’t never seen the likes of a new mail order bride!


Out of the back room came Charlie dragging a crate

Charlie I need to see this woman, it’s getting’ kinda late

Just help me with this crate and soon she’ll be at our side

You’ll be the first to meet my new mail order bride


Well I was grinning’ from ear to ear like a mule eatin’ briars

We attacked that crate with hammers till it bonds had expired

Charlie reached in the box and move the straw around inside

And layin’ there in the raw was Charlie’s new mail order bride


Gee, Charlie I says, I thought she was foreign, new to the scene

Charlie laughed and said hell no, I got her from New Orlean

Well she sure is a pretty thang with that hair in a pony tail tied

She’s a damn fine lookin’ woman, your new mail order bride


Charlie said hurry, let’s get her out, there’s no need to dally

I think I have a name for her, my little round-mouthed Sally

I gonna buy her a bra to match those red panties he cried

She’ll be the prettiest thang around, my new mail order bride


Look at them fine tata’s CC, you can tell she’s from the south

Oh my God! There’s nothing’ finer, look at that pretty mouth!

She’s built for speed, comfort, and I bet she’s a fun ride

I got to come back over and try your new mail order bride!


Well, Charlie said that he’d think about; right now he couldn’t say

He just wanted to pump some air into her and get ready to play

So he said you run along, get back to where it is you hide

Don’t you see I need to be alone with my new mail order bride?



© Copyright WBrown2010. All Rights Reserved.


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Comments 18 comments

dabeaner profile image

dabeaner 6 years ago from Nibiru

I'm waiting for "feel-a-vision".

rkhyclak profile image

rkhyclak 6 years ago from Ohio

lol well I reckon a blow-up is better than a tranny-surprise!

ralwus 6 years ago

Now we're gettin kinky huh? hmmm, last one I had like that was blond, a real air head.

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Hey Wayne and Charlie did you steal that from my Rig? She seems to have left and I am in great pain. She kept me company on the long ride and sane.When I got really tired and she winked at me I knew it was time for a real me to pull over and expire. I never let her down and I pumped her up every time she frowned. All my buddies are envious and now the Flying J's are selling em like HOT CAKES:0)

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@dabeaner...hang with us, we'll get it! WB

@rkhyclak...yea bekka...them trannys are scary! WB

@ralwus...Charlie,you're crazier than an out-house rat! WB

@SR1...I knew a guy that took one dancing and bought her drinks..he was a bit dillusional like you! WB

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

Dang your gettin' low down enough my dirty old mind might come out and play! I had me a girl like that once bit her on the neck and she farted real loud and flew out the window! 50

epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

gotta love this one Mister B - I wrote a similiar one a few days ago called These mixed emotions inside of me and some people thought it was about my cat - lol lol

...but the bottom line is - you were born to create a wind storm of writing here at hubpages and this particular piece is one of my personal favorites .. from one of my personal favorite writers. By the way did you check out Ian Tyson yet?

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@50Cal.....Hang around, I might just recite Piss-Pot Pete for ya! WB

@epigramman...Yes, I checked Mr. Tyson and realized that I was more familiar with his music than I first thought. But I also saw that he had a lot more that I need to get familiar with...thank you for reminding me. Sorry about that cat thing! WB

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I'll give you an A+++ for this 'beaut, Wayne-dang, you two crack me up to no end!

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

lorlie6...the fact of the matter is that both Charlie and I are just a couple of little stinkers just waiting to disrupt the classroom. Glad you liked it and thanks for that goooooood grade. Cum Laude here I come! WB

Rose56 6 years ago

That was so funny i laugh so hard.Like a dog he lied . I just loved it.The funny side of WB.

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@Rose56...I had to get him back for writin' all that jibberish, Rose! Glad you had a great laugh and so is Charlie! Happy 4th! WB

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

Wayne, between you and 50, I am choking with laughter.

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@Bpop...Don't say anything but I heard that Charlie already got a hole in here when he dropped the ashes off his cigar while holding her in his lap. A realiable source told me that he had to scoot down to Wal-Mart and buy a bicycle tire repair kit to get her back in action. Now I hear he is all pumped up about it! WB

masaa profile image

masaa 6 years ago from Kenya

wayne brown you are good

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@masaa...I wrote this for my good friend, Charlie Campbell. He is known as "ralwus" here on the hub. You can find him in my fan list or search him on the site. I think you would enjoy his poetry as well. Say "hi" to CC for me and thanks for your kind words! WB

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Big LOL for you both! I am Charlie fan, and now, I am your fan too. This poem really cracked me!

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas Author

@Freya Cesare...Welcome! I am so glad that we could make you LOL! There are several poems in my mix that are inspired by or dedicated to Charlie. We had a good natured back and forth for laughs a while back and will probably do it again someday. Originally, I wrote "ralwus writings" as a tribute to his ability to pull the "sensual aspects" out of everything. It just kind of evolved from there. There are even a couple here where we collaborated on the poem together. Enjoy the read! Thank you for the nice comments! WB

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