CHILDREN: GOD'S COMIC RELIEF TO US ALL
Children are gifts from God, untrained little comics to bring sunshine and laughter into our lives. Of this, I am sure. From their biggest asset, innocence, comes one of the most precious and genuine gifts--the ability to make an adult laugh. Children can say the absolute most hysterical things and never realize what they said was funny. These moments are priceless.
In a classroom several years ago, the four year old kindergarten class was having a discussion about their addresses and phone numbers. One child said he did not have a phone number, to which the teacher explained that everyone did not have a phone or a phone number. Another child quickly added that he did not have an address. The teacher explained that everyone has an address. A little girl confidently stood up and raised her hand. When called on she swiftly replied, "I have a dress and a skirt."
Children do not see beyond their little world and that can make for some very honest and humorous dialogue.
The following are brilliant little nuggets of humor supplied by children.
~Home is where the house is. Age 6
~For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens when you leave cheese out." Age 6
~Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for the part of letting any old yokel vote! Age 10
~It would be a terrible thing if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No wait! That would be a good thing because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there." Age 5
Kids on is it better to be single or married?
~It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Age 9
~It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. Age 7
~Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time. Age 9
What do your parents have in common?
~Both don't want anymore kids. Age 8
How different would the world be if people didn't get married?
~There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? Age 9
How to tell if two people are married?
~Married people usually look happy to talk to other people. Age 6
~You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids Age 8
Funny Quotes About Kids
~If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. Dick Cavett
~My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children. Bill Cosby
~Don't try to make your children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. Russell Baker
~Children are a great comfort in your old age--and they help you reach it faster too. Lionel Koffman
~I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. Robert Orben
~Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it. Mark Twain
~One thing they never tell you child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. Erma Bombeck
~Never lend your car keys to anyone whom you've given birth. Erma Bombeck
~I want to have children and I know my time is running out. I want to have them while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. Rita Rudner
~Experts say you should never hit your child out of anger. when is a good time? When you are feeling festive? Roseanne Barr
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