Children are gifts from God, untrained little comics to bring sunshine and laughter into our lives. Of this, I am sure. From their biggest asset, innocence, comes one of the most precious and genuine gifts--the ability to make an adult laugh. Children can say the absolute most hysterical things and never realize what they said was funny. These moments are priceless.

In a classroom several years ago, the four year old kindergarten class was having a discussion about their addresses and phone numbers. One child said he did not have a phone number, to which the teacher explained that everyone did not have a phone or a phone number. Another child quickly added that he did not have an address. The teacher explained that everyone has an address. A little girl confidently stood up and raised her hand. When called on she swiftly replied, "I have a dress and a skirt."

Children do not see beyond their little world and that can make for some very honest and humorous dialogue.

The following are brilliant little nuggets of humor supplied by children.

~Home is where the house is.    Age 6  

~For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens when you leave cheese out."    Age 6

~Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for the part of letting any old yokel vote!    Age 10

~It would be a terrible thing if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No wait! That would be a good thing because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there."    Age 5

Kids on is it better to be single or married?

~It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.   Age 9

~It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble.    Age 7

~Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.   Age 9

What do your parents have in common?

~Both don't want anymore kids.  Age 8

How different would the world be if people didn't get married?

~There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?  Age 9

How to tell if two people are married?

~Married people usually look happy to talk to other people.   Age 6

~You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids    Age 8

Funny Quotes About Kids

~If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.    Dick Cavett

~My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.   Bill Cosby

~Don't try to make your children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.   Russell Baker

~Children are a great comfort in your old age--and they help you reach it faster too.   Lionel Koffman

~I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.    Robert Orben

~Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.    Mark Twain

~One thing they never tell you child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.    Erma Bombeck

~Never lend your car keys to anyone whom you've given birth.    Erma Bombeck

~I want to have children and I know my time is running out. I want to have them while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.   Rita Rudner

~Experts say you should never hit your child out of anger. when is a good time? When you are feeling festive?    Roseanne Barr

More by this Author

Comments 10 comments

GPAGE 7 years ago


Children are FANTASTIC!!!!!! G

Visionary Poet profile image

Visionary Poet 7 years ago from northwest florida

super funny stuff. laughter is truly the best medicine

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 7 years ago

Love it, love it, love it!

Dorothy Charnley profile image

Dorothy Charnley 7 years ago from Penrith Australia

As the mother of 7 and grandmother of 14 I can relate to this extremely well. Keep the laughter flowing!

Partisan Patriot 7 years ago

Thanks for the Little Bit of Sunshine Today

judydianne profile image

judydianne 7 years ago from Palm Harbor, FL

Kids DO say the funniest things! Thank you for my chuckle of the day!

no body profile image

no body 7 years ago from Rochester, New York

I needed that laugh Pammy. I always love your hubs and you are more precious than your hubs.

Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 7 years ago from New England

Thank you for a fun hub, Pamela! I love hanging out with my daughter. We have many laughs together. I live in a cohousing community and the interactions of children both with each other and with adults is infinitely entertaining.

Adam B 7 years ago

Th other day my daughter (3) said "mommy gave me the Butt Popcorn an I loved it dad!"

I was confused because I don't quite know what "Butt Popcorn" is.

Then I thought about it and remembered I bought a bunch of new snacks for the girls and one of them was "Pirate's Booty" which is White Cheddar Popped Corn and Rice.

I laughed so hard. I had to explain what the difference was when I say something about her Booty and what a Pirates Booty was. Funny stuff.

firemanak 5 years ago

great piece....laughed while reading it, while doing fire prevention at local schools we get the same thing.. they tell you about everything and anything

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article