CHRISTMAS DAY INTERROGATION TRANSCRIPT

INTERROGATION BEGINS

The following is the FBI transcript of the interrogation of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab following his attempt to bring down a US airliner on Christmas Day of 2009.

Interrogator

Good afternoon Mr. Abdulmutallab my name is Special Agent (redacted). You have been a naughty boy this afternoon. What brought you to our shores?

Abdulmutallab

My boys…fire much pain!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

Aw I see there is a group involved. Please calm down sir tell us more about your boys.

Abdulmutallab

Fire pain and even death. No water, water please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

No, no, Mr. Abdulmutallab we don’t waterboard anymore do to Presidential order you can be sure we won’t waterboard you. You spoke of fire, pain, and death please elaborate.

Abdulmutallab

My boys on fire please I got no water………..drugs please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

Now we are getting somewhere tell me about the drug connection to your group. Is it from the poppy fields in Afghanistan?

Abdulmutallab

Afghanistan banana stand my boys!!!!!…………Fire, pain!!!!!!! Help drugs!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

Aw I see there is a group at a banana stand in Afghanistan selling drugs for your cause. Is that correct Mr. Abdulmutallab? What are their names?

Abdulmutallab

Die American idiot!!!!!! My boys……NAMES?….Fire, pain!!!!! Drugs, fire, pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

Now, now Mr. Abdulmutallab there is no reason for name calling here we are all adults.

Abdulmutallab

Please just kill me!! Get it over!!!!!! Fire, pain!!!!!!!!!!!! Hit me on head and knock out!!!!

Interrogator

No, no, Mr. Abdulmutallab I can assure you no violence will be employed please calm down sir. At this banana stand in Afghanistan do you make banana smoothies and then dry the peals for smoking?

Abdulmutallab

Ice…(gasp)…….water…….(gasp)…….Balm………salve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interrogator

Now we are getting somewhere. You made the bomb with a combination of ice water and some type of salve is that correct, or did you mean diamond trade is also involved in your mention of ice?

Abdulmutallab

Die &%#?%**#@%@ American idiot!!!!!!

Interrogator

Now, now Mr. Abdulmutallab there is no reason for that profanity. I won’t tolerate that kind of language.

Hello nurse what can I do for you?

RN (redacted)

I have medication for Mr. Abdulmutallab, and his lawyer you ordered is in the hall.

INTERROGATION ENDED

 

Comments 14 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

Dear Tom,

So, so funny and probably exactly how it all went down!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Pop,

I have an old contact from THE COMPANY from my WVU days when I helped them conduct counter-SDS activities that got me a copy.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Tom, absolutely hysterical. You just have to have a life sometimes with the world being so serious and this is great.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Pamela,

Thanks for the compliment. I have always been a glass half full person. There may be those who would say I,m half witted.


tipperary profile image

tipperary 6 years ago

Thats so funny! its the first story ive read today and its started the day off well.!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

tipperary,

Thank you for your visit and your complimentary comment.


SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 6 years ago from West Virginia

Good laughs, sadly, that is probably not too far from the truth!!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Sheri,

Under the oversight of Obama/Holder I think this is a very credable scenerio.


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Love this -hilarious.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

itakins,

Our FBI is a cracker jack operation. The unfortunate thing is that on Christmas Day the guy on call was a new employee with the least seniority. He was actually a trainee who was filling in as a Special Agent. All qualified agents were in Hawaii guarding President Obama playing golf. A holliday replacement so to say!!!!!!!!!!!!


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

I love your imagination.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Thanks sheila b. , I think!!!!!!!!!


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

This is great!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

habee,

Thanks habee It's another job saved for President Obama. He stimulated the economy of Hawii and saved a job!!!!!!!!

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