Cut with a Knife

When families are involved it so hard controlling your emotions,you know you love them dearly.but on the other hand sometimes they drive you completely insane.as you think the problem is solved by your apparent wisdom,you end up exacerbating the situation even more,which up till then you did not think was possible.at the end you hope the battle is settled and you all end up on an a more even setting.

Emotional wreck.

CUT WITH A KNIFE


Infuriating,raging,are words of a small fraction
When dealing with families,driving you to distraction
Some days are wonderful,full of joy,full of cheers
Other days enraging,driving you to tears.
You surmise your helping,solving problems that pop up
Backfires on you badly,asking what the hell is up.
You assume your right,quite often your wrong
Every day,an all too familiar song.
Ups and downs,raised voices and moods
Pleasing all factions,each other's broods.
Bending over backwards,going the extra mile
You hope for the best results,increasing the anger pile.
Eventually attempt,you think of giving up the ghost
Getting frustrated trying to be the perfect host
Get no thanks whatsoever,
looking dumb while trying to be clever.
Head at boiling point,frustration,and rage
Feeling your stuck in an emotional cage.
The house eerily silent,bad atmosphere,no talking
I've had enough,would be better just walking.
No end in sight,everyone takes a stance
Hope your right,maybe your taking a chance.
What if I'm wrong,go over it in my head
Constantly flapping about the things I have said.
No I'm definitely right,resolutions no way
I'm right I'm sure,I know I have to say.
Point out the facts,hope they will lend you an ear
Finish the battle,not sitting in fear.
Judging the looks,emotions and gazes
Everyone's emotions going through stages.
Looking to see if the story sinks in
Will they accept your version,is your admission skating thin.
Compromise seems very far and distant
Telling your story,hope it's consistent
Fear and your tears are ever present and real
Will it ever end,will it not end how you feel.
Traumatic,tense,unsettling, terrifying
Up and down thoughts I ended up crying.
The pressure ever present,palpable and fierce
Your heart jumps and slips,the silence it will pierce.
You hope after hours,maybe even days
The anger will dissipate like a distant haze.


Infuriating.

Upsetting.

over and round they drag you down

stealing your smile and giving you a frown.

testing your patience,testing your will

makes your blood run,gives you a chill.

tossing and turning each night in your bed

going to sleep with a feeling of dread

emotions so high you cannot come down

your destiny that day is to house a frown.


Explosion.

What if !

if you had a chance of always being happy

instead of being moody ,and rather snappy.

would you take it?

if the option came around that you'd never be down

if you wake each day ,with a smile that lasted for a while

would you take it?

if you could cure all ills,and take away pain

you had nothing to lose ,and everything to gain

would you do it?

questions and hearsay,conjecture and belief

wake up each day ,and never experience grief

would you do it?


A touchy subject.

my family and I over the years have had some blazing rows and fights. Some incredible fall outs that on appearance could never be mended. But,we all still talk after a while. Families can forgive just about anything within reason. The thing about family is,there's always a resolution in time. In time there are meetings that get out the anger and replace it with a future. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it is fixable. I have had awful instances where I never thought I'd forgive or recover from betrayal,but I got there in the end up.

Crazy and scary.

Time faster than ever.

bonkers,madness,insanity,crazy

families make your memories hazy.

infuriate,explode,flummox,enrage

that's just a day on the anger gauge.

boot you on a high,drop you on a low

speed up your emotions,then your heart goes slow.

tactfull not,humorous definitely not

hard to forgive,ive not really forgot.

takes a while,but we end up in talks

head home happy after familiar walks.



Try your best.

the main thing in life is to try your best to get on with family.there are times when you do have huge rows,but family will always be there to help you in times of dire straits,there's hugs or money or advice,whatever is required,family usually has a solution to get you back on your way. This cuts both ways,if there's ever a time when they struggle to cope,you know you will feel good repaying the favour.

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2 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Wonderfully done. I could feel the angst as I read. This story is too often the norm.


bigj1969 profile image

bigj1969 2 years ago from glasgow Author

Thanks Ericdierker,I appreciate your kindness.

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