Camille's Daddy and the Spider


This poem is based on a true incident with my daughter's father, many years ago. I've since had more unpleasant encounters with wolf spiders, North Carolilna's largest spider. You'd think I would be de-sensitized by now, but these nasty creatures freak me out more than any other pest. Mice and snakes might startle me for a second, but I can usually recover and handle things calmly. Spiders send me running. When they show up in my house, I have no mercy. My favorite weapon is carpet cleaner - the cheap kind that foams. It stops them in their tracks everytime!

Camille's Daddy and the Spider

Daddy was reading the Holy Book

When up from the Scriptures he happened to look.

Our tabby, the Petey Cat, pranced 'cross the rug,

Following in step behind a great big bug!

Doug recognized the bug as an ugly ole spider.

At the size of the creature, his eyes opened wider!

The spider was as big as Daddy's fist is around,

And acting on instinct he threw the Good Book down.

The Bible smooshed the bug in the rug;

The murder seemed a sacrilige to Doug.

"Lord, please forgive me," your Daddy then prayed,

"And bless this poor spider, whom I have slayed."

Then Daddy grabbed a tissue without further remorse,

And flushed that spider down the toilet, of course!

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Comments 8 comments

Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

I love it! What a great poem dineane? Got any more? ~Dottie~

PS - saw link on the forum. thought i'd check it out incase, like you said, Maddie snips it. glad i got here first.

dineane profile image

dineane 8 years ago from North Carolina Author

thanks, Dottie! Not many more...I've tried my hand a poetry on and off in my writing career and I think my mom, DonnaCSmith at is probably better at it (you're welcome, mom...why haven't you posted any poems, yet?) I am thinking of another funny I wrote a while back, though...maybe I'll try to dig it up.

Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

Wow, your mom is one busy woman! She must be a FlyLady fan to help keep things organized at home.

dineane profile image

dineane 8 years ago from North Carolina Author

Mama? Flylady? Haaa Haaa Haaa! (sorry Mama, but you know, now, that is funny!)

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 8 years ago from Central Oklahoma

dineane, your poem and the event that inspired it is MUCH funnier and had a much swifter ending than the time I found a wolf spider strolling nonchantly across the kitchen. Oh, that I could've just dropped the Good Book on it! As it was, I had to chase it down and smack it with a baseball bat...and I am not a bit ashamed to admit I did NOT ask the Lord for forgiveness after. Like the one in your story, it was the size of an adult fist. Huge. In my house. Not acceptable. It possibly tried to snack on my finger a few nights earlier when my hand was hanging off the side of the bed. From the puncture wound and blood at the side of a fingernail, I first thought my cat had decided to get revenge, but he was sound asleep in the middle of the bed. When I shook off whatever caused the sharp pain that woke me, there was a "thud", so it was something fairly large. Glad you were able to find the humor in a visit from a wolf spider!

DonnaCSmith profile image

DonnaCSmith 5 years ago from Central North Carolina

No matter how many times I've read it, I still laugh out loud - really!

jdove-miller 5 years ago

Way cute! Made me laugh out loud when Doug was so startled by the spider that he threw the Bible down.

PADDYBOY60 profile image

PADDYBOY60 5 years ago from Centreville Michigan

Funny poem. Thanks for sharing.

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