Can't Count the Tears (A Poem)

Can't Count the Tears

I've been awake for days- I can't sleep

The thought of losing you; Cuts me deep

My heart is crying out for you

Will I have- to come home to?

I need you here.

Right now I'm living in my darkest fear,

My head hurts- I can't stop the ringing in my ear.

It's feels like I'm crying blood instead of tears,

What the hell is happening to me- after all these years?

Can't count the tears; There's too many.

I need to feel love. Do you still have any?

I'm dead inside- I don't wanna breathe.

I can't stop you; If you want to leave.

All I feel is the pain,

Somehow it brings comfort to my brain.

I don't want to go on without you,

I don't know what to do.

There's a hole in my heart- A sharp pain in my head.

Something is missing inside; I feel like I'm dead.

Kiss away my hurt, remove my fear,

I don't know why I need you here.

Here comes that same old familiar pain, again.

I'm too dead to live, too alive to die,

All I ever seem to ask is "why?"; God, why?

My whole life seems like it's crashing down,

How can someone live with their heart torn out?

Please! Someone out there come save me.

Have I finally- Gone crazy?

Here I am broken, fragile- but still a man.

I've fought for life for so long; I'm dead right where I stand.

God, please don't leave me like this!

I need you to be here; someone answer my wish.

Take away the fears- I have inside,

Can't count the tears- God knows that I have tried.

I'm wounded- I can't walk

I can't call out to you; We don't talk,

I've beg you not to leave,

When I'm gone don't grieve.

I can't sleep- I wish I could die.

I can't live in this emotional suicide.

It's hard to fight for what I can't see,

I need to learn to just believe.

I'm empty and it's something I can no longer hide,

Can't count the tears- That have yet to be cried.

***********************

Copyright 2008, StJames

All Rights Reserved.

 

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Comments 10 comments

AEvans profile image

AEvans 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

That is hearfelt and beautiful!!! You sincerely put your heart out there and it is nice to see something different and unique.


Nayberry profile image

Nayberry 7 years ago from nayphat@yahoo.com

Beautiful poem.

Tootles!!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

OMG I hear the pain...I feel the pain and here I am..once again...I too have been where you are and it definetly leaves the scar... the hurt the tears and all the fear...of why why am I right here?..we seek the pain that other's share as if we really don't even care...I care about the pain you feel...I know that is truly real...but I have pain I get excuse..I cannot ever...The memories are of no use... so here I am alone again..to share the pain and cry with you...G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

St.James it is like you feel each word as you read this beautiful poem.I saw your pics when you were drinking and wow it is like you have had a complete makeover.You are looking fabulous, so mighty fine.You are a total inspiration.


St.James profile image

St.James 7 years ago from Lurking Around Florida Author

Thank you all... this was a different time... I was a different person. I do have quite a few other poems from this time in my life. Of course, I do have poems more resent poems (some I've published here) that reflect newer feelings.

I was hoping to one day publish these, but face there is not much demand of books of poetry these days.


Umna Safdar profile image

Umna Safdar 7 years ago

very touchy


pruthvi 7 years ago

hi its gr8 to read ur poem as same i've been left alone in this "hell" alone! but its grtr pain on her sie(the gal who left me) as she had to loose us all (as we hav a group of 9 gals) but really can't live widout her! well i jst lovd ur poem thinkin of submittim ma poems tooo... as i do write poems on ma own!! u r a terrrific poet i'll b waitin for more poems of ur


robin 6 years ago

Just can say, U made me CRY


phiphi profile image

phiphi 5 years ago from USA

Awesome poem St.James its really beautiful dude


sandesh 5 years ago

very nice poem...

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