Careful That Those You Look Up To Deserve It

You know, I looked up to you

Until you looked down on me

You were to be admired

And your shared wisdom I took to heart

As if from a mother figure, I wanted your approval

But time instead soon would tell

You judged me unfairly on many levels

Not noticing my true intentions, or my internal struggle

Mistaking even my acceptance of my situation

For something that it was not

Any contact made was met with barely veiled disdain

When questions about my life were honestly answered

But, I soon realized you are not to be admired

For I believe judge no one until you truly know a heart

And that benefit of the doubt should be given first

© 2013 Shannon

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Comments 20 comments

Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

shanmarie,

This is beautiful, in a sad and real kind of way. I can see the blood dripping from you words, but I know all to well the words you write. It seems we work so much harder to get approval from those who don't want to give it, rather than just being who we are for those that appreciate us for just that.

Up, awesome and beautiful!

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Cat. It came from an experience with someone I knew many, many years ago. Something made me think of her recently. I was not necessarily trying to gain her approval, but that line seemed to fit. I was, however, trying to let her know that I thought of her without actually saying I admired her - until I realized it wouldn't matter to her anyway. Some people are too snooty for their own britches. Hehe.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Hello and good afternoon Shanmarie and thank you sincerely for sharing some of your musical songwriting influences with me and yes there has been a lot of music in my lifetime that has helped me make it through as well.

Thank you for your direct link to Jo Dee Messina's Carry me - it was quite a powerful and moving performance and her voice reminded me somewhat of Lucinda Williams another fine songwriter.

I can always see the influence of songwriting throughout your brilliant poetry which is truthful and soulful at the same time. Definitely no BS with your approach because it is also heartfelt and sincere.

I listen to lots and lots of music so there is most definitely a big songwriting influence on my work as well. I love Hank Williams Sr and Townes Van Zandt, Nick Cave, Tom Waits, Ray Davies of the Kinks, Kate Bush and Joni Mitchell and Warren Zevon, the Gerswhins and Cole Porter and yes the list goes on.

Most of my writing though is just storytelling.

Love your work here - and your words always speak directly from your heart and through your probing mind.

lake erie time 5:12pm and sending you my warmest wishes from Colin and his cats


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

I understand. It touches me deeply.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Wouldn't have guessed Joni Mitchell...haha ;). Think we saw a hint of her influence in one of your pieces, did we not? I listen to music from a vast array of genres and even eras, but lately, I focus mostly on country due to my blog, which I seem to be badly neglecting. HP has become a habit. haha. But, yeah - like I said, I'm often reminded of a song or song lyrics.

So, I see from your comments that you have good news health-wise and a birthday coming up. Happy early birthday, and as always, thank you for your visit to my hub!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Nellieanna! You surprise me. I don't think you even follow me and I didn't send you a link to it, though I mentioned it. Thanks for stopping by. :)


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

This struck a chord with me! I can feel that bitter pain of experience...you captured it so well. ~Lurana


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for reading and for commenting, Lurana.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

shanmarie,

That is one of the oddities of expressing yourself and writing poetry, particularly; sometimes there are things that I want to write about and maybe I can relate to them, but they aren't necessarily personal experiences. I don't think you should have to write a disclaimer for poetic pieces though, you know? With that said, I think what you wrote about, can be related to so many different kinds of relationships; child to parent, lover to lover, friend to friend, etc. I may not know your exact experience, but I know exactly what you meant... I could feel it and many parts of it sounded like they came straight out of my head from any number of experiences I've had. I think you hit on something that most people can't deny... I'm really looking forward to reading more of work :D

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I know what you mean,Cat. It's not a disclaimer per say. I'm mostly a private person unless I know someone well enough, but I can be open about many things in a general sort of way. I'm not sure that even makes any sense. Haha. But, I'm glad that you think it can relate to others on so many different levels. That's the idea sometimes. :) It's interesting when I get a comment back saying someone related to something I wrote in a totally different manner than I'd expected. And, yes, that is the beauty of poetry! There are plenty of things that I have written that are not necessarily based on personal experience so much as observation or other such inspiration.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

shanmarie,

It makes perfect sense, seriously. How do you respond to comments people make, when they assume it is personal? Do you play along or do you start explaining yourself?

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Haha. I'm assuming that is a rhetorical question, but I'll answer. It depends on the question asked and my mood.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

No, I was being serious. I actually kind of wanted your opinion or perspective... there are things I want to write, but pass them up because people generally tend to assume you're writing from specific personal experiences and some things, aren't the kind of things, that I want people assuming were specifically personal to myself. Now does that make any sense? Ha ha ha


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Unless maybe you're Epi. . he takes on a whole new life each time he writes, or so it seems.

Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes I am a walking contradiction, I think. Either that, or just so confusing I only make sense to those just as confused. hehe I think your thoughts on not necessarily needing to explain your inspirations behind a poem or, for that matter, any piece of writing is spot on. Plus, I've found that there are times when people will get something totally different out of something I wrote than what I felt or thought when I wrote it. But, there is beauty in that as well - kind of like how the same song can say different things to different listeners. Not everything I've posted on here, as a matter of fact, is completely based on personal experience, though I think much of the poetry thus far has been. That said, when I say personal experience, it does not necessarily mean all of what I wrote was personal, but maybe just inspired by something personal. Or it could be something some random thought or observation inspired.

That said, in a way, if you write about something you relate to, you are still sharing a bit of yourself. Whether it be something you've personally experienced or just something that touched you deeply enough to inspire you to write about it. You're sharing your thoughts. Maybe all it says is that you have one hell of an imagination, but even that says something.

As for playing along or explaining myself - again, that depends on many different factors and I likely won't get too terribly personal in comments even if I answer personally, meaning I don't give many details. However, I can be playful, too, if given the chance. Even sarcastic and teasing. It's all in fun, though.

Now, make sure you feed those kiddos while you're rhyming, my friend ! ;)


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

SO well said! Why do we continue to look up to those who deign only to look down on us!

very much enjoyed this and will share it forward!

HI CAT! listen sweets - i hate writing about myself and my life as well! You may notice i do it very infrequently, BUT - there is a little trick i've implemented that works for me and that is - to use the word 'she' instead of 'i'..

i've even used 'HE' instead of me..ya know?

the other option is - just let 'er rip!! wtf anyway!

you can put a disclaimer at the top or bottom saying the views discussed are not necessarily the views of the author..

LOL..(chicken...)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

LOL, Leslie! I've done that, too. :)


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

shanmarie,

Point well taken! And I agree with Leslie... "SO well said"! I really appreciate such an honest, well thought answer and it will no doubt influence my future :-) You made total sense!

Leslie, girlfriend... I so love your advice and what a gre-a-a-a-a-t idea!

Screw disclaimers... I think they ruin the mood! :-)

You're right... I am a damn chicken! :-)

Oh and Leslie, SHE loves you :-)

Thanks girls, you flipping rock!

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I have to smile at your answer. Conversations in writing are so funny sometimes. They just go from one point to another and seemingly have no flow to them. Sometimes even two conversations at once can even be carried on.

Glad you appreciated the answer. Hehe....You run the risk of getting more than you ask for when you ask me for an opinion.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas

How about that! I'm a PSYC major too! But I'm more into social psychology, child development and the psychology of sex.

No one can ever truly know another person's heart, which is why we should always leave judgment to God who knows everyone's heart perfectly. I know He's pretty old and lots of people seem to want to think He needs their help even in judging, but in fact no imperfect human is even vaguely qualified to help. All any of us can do is judge others by ourselves and that is arrogance unplugged.

Well described. Like Cantuhearmescream, I think you are very talented in addressing difficult subjects.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Au fait, social psychology and child development are up there as some of my favorite psych genres. In fact, development pysch in general is interesting. So is pesonality.

Thank you for your compliment and for reading. I like that - arrogance unplugged. That is what it is, though.

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