Political and Hollywood Humor: Celebrity and Politician Warning Labels at Birth

Some of these celebrities and politicians should have come with warning labels at birth to give the world (and their parents) fair warning of the havoc they would wreak on generations to come. Read on for a humorous look at some warning labels that would have been useful had they been slapped on the butts of these celebrities and politicians as babies.

Britney Spears

WARNING: May not be safe for children under the age of seventeen. Store product in an isolated, religious environment. Do not use near open flame, hair dye, bikinis, leather, razors, heavy machinery, or Kevin Federline.

Adolf Hitler

WARNING: Ask your doctor before use with Jews, Gypsies, Polish citizens, Jehovah’s Witnesses, blacks, homosexuals, priests, or the disabled.

George W. Bush

WARNING: May go to Yale. May purchase a baseball team. May serve in the Air National Guard. May go to Harvard Business School. May govern Texas. May preside over the United States for eight years. No, seriously.

Janet Jackson

WARNING: The FCC advises against using this product without ensuring proper packaging, triple layering, and rigid lining. If prolonged exposure occurs, rinse eyes thoroughly with warm water.

Christopher Columbus

WARNING: May cause adverse effects in Native Americans.

Helen Keller

WARNING: Keep away from sharp objects, stairwells, and practical jokers. It may be advisable to learn to spell with your fingers.

Richard Nixon

WARNING: May actually be a crook. Use with caution.

William Shakespeare

WARNING: It may be advisable to keep records of all speech, actions, and pieces of writing. Ensure that everything is labeled to prevent potential identity theft.

Michael Jackson

WARNING: Keep out of reach of children.

Sarah Palin

WARNING: Side effects may include high rates of fertility and overuse of the word "maverick."