Christmas Crumbs and Chocolate Fancies - Short Story

Living in a 1950's dreamworld!
Living in a 1950's dreamworld!

When Gillian decided to cook dinner for 14 people, it never crossed her mind that the day wouldn't be quite what she envisioned.

For starters, her best friend Julie decided that actually it would be a great idea to bring her three kids, two dogs and one irate husband with her.

The husband she could cope with, but Gillian wasn't quite, well lets just say, partial to children! Oh she didn't mind looking after one at a time, but for some reason the blueprint for motherhood had passed her by. Okay, lets face it, she hated kids!

'Ah well' she thought blowing her hair off her face, and wiping her forehead with her right arm while stirring the thick cream blob in the bowl, 'Its only one day. What can possibly go wrong?'

1950's woman on telephone
1950's woman on telephone

Oh yes! the dogs! Where the heck was she going to put them? They were yappy little things at the best of times. Unless she shut them in the study. Yes! great idea! Just as long as they didn't pee on her husbands best Moroccan rug. Never mind we will come to that when it happens. Okay, what next?

Gillian had loved cooking ever since she left school. She had spent three years at culinary college, and came away with an endless supply of cookbooks, loads of ideas, and a brand new husband to try them out on.

She had met Peter just after leaving college and setting up in London. After a short dating life, and even shorter engagement they had settled in quite nicely in Peter's flat in Chelsea. With both of them working, and with the sale of her Flat they had enough money for the rent most months and a bit left over for goodies as she liked to call her new cookery ideas. In fact Gillian was a bit of a 1950's wannabe.

She loved all the old pictures of 'Good wives' looking after their husbands, and cooking 'amazing' food. Heck, she even dressed like 'I love Lucy' the popular TV program, and hated anything to disrupt her fantasy.

And woe betide anyone, and I mean anyone, getting in the way of her baking!

I Love Lucy!

Gillian loves I Love Lucy!
Gillian loves I Love Lucy! | Source

Of course her husband loved her recipes. In fact she couldn't remember him ever disliking anything she had made in the kitchen. His favorite of all though were her Chocolate fancies.

Whipped cream mixed with coco a touch of cinnamon, and the secret ingredient passed down from her mother. Dark and light chocolate mixed with brown sugar. Heat it all up then leave for ten minutes.

Then taking the bowl from the table she began to laddle the mixture into the mini cake tins, and place them in the fridge to set. There! all done. Ready for her guests.

Leaving the kitchen she walked back into the dining room and observed her handy work. Chicken, nibbles, cakes and lots of wine.

'That should do it' she smiled and slowly walked up the stairs to get changed.

Chocolate Fancies Yum!
Chocolate Fancies Yum!

So far the evening was going well. The two dogs were behaving, the children were too, sort of, and Julie..where was Julie? had helped her plan the whole thing.

'This is marvelous Gillian, how do you do it?' Betty leaned over the canapes, her cleavage nearly causing a disaster with the souffle. Gillian swiftly saved the souffle, shrugged and said ,

'Oh you know, I just love cooking. Peter's a darling, he always likes to taste the stuff I make, its a wonder he isn't as fat as a cow'. Grimacing, Betty laughed. 'He is as thin as a rake, what's his secret? lots of exercise, or er...too much sex maybe?' She burst out laughing and walked back to her seat, grabbing another cake as she went.

Dinner party
Dinner party

'What a strange thing to say'! Gillian stopped what she was doing and stared at Betty's back. 'Why would she say that?' thinking about it, Gillian realised that actually it must be exercise that kept Peter thin, because she couldn't remember the last time they had made love.

Was it last week? A month? She startled. No! it was nearly three months ago! They had both been so busy, and...'

Well it was rather difficult trying to get Peter to act like a good 1950's guy too. In his words its rather stupid isn't it sweetie?!

'Darling! have you any more Canapes? Your food is delicious!' Tom, Sara's husband, who always sounded as though he was about to go on stage, called across the room.

As the evening progressed, Gillian was soon caught up in the praise from her guests, and totally forgot about what Betty had said. Time ticked on, and it was soon time to ease the guests out of the house with as least amount of fuss as possible.

Julie's husband had left a while ago with the children, but had left the two dogs for his wife to take home. So far they had behaved themselves and not turned into a yappy horrible nightmare!

Suddenly there was an almighty crash! it sounded like it had come from the kitchen!

Dachshunds dogs misbehaving!
Dachshunds dogs misbehaving!

Entering the kitchen the first thing Gillian saw was the remains of the Christmas cake splayed across the floor. The two dachshunds had escaped and were relishing the free gift of food. Wagging their tails ecstatically while licking crumbs of their snouts.

'Oh hell, how on earth did this happen? Bad dogs, no, no leave it alone, oh don't then...!' Reaching under the table for the dust pan and brush she suddenly saw movement in the study which sat directly across from the kitchen.

'Hello? anybody in there? And what clever person let the damn dogs out? They are eating my cake!'

'Hello? Oh damn and blast and fiddlesticks, are they deaf?' Gillian stomped across to the study, ready to give someone a good telling off. But as she slammed open the door the sight that greeted her choked the words in her throat and all that came out was ..


There on the new Moroccan mat, splayed out in all her full glory was Julie, naked as the day she was born, covered in Gillian's chocolate fancies! And Peter caught like a rabbit in the glare, could only stutter....

'But Chocolates are gorgeous I always love your chocolate fancies? Gillian? Gillian? What are you going to do...? Arghhhhh............!

All the neighbors could hear at 11 pm at night, in a quiet neighborhood was a muffled scream, followed by a loud bang. Then quiet.

Peter was never the same again. Nobody knows exactly what Gillian threatened him with, but from then on Peter came home like a dutiful husband every night, sat and read the paper and quietly went to bed.

Julie on the other hand, was spotted staggering down the middle of the road at 3 am covered in Christmas cake and an assortment of canapes and vol-au-vents filled with chicken and asparagus. Her favorite if Gillian remembered, as she hissed under her breath while wiping the floor clean. There that's better!

Standing up she checked the floor, gave one more wipe and then sashayed across the room till she was standing in front of the mirror. Leaning forward she touched her lips with her fingers, wiping away ...tomato sauce...? And then reapplying her lipstick.

Standing back she gave a sigh, pulled at her dress to straighten it and headed up the stairs.

'I must bake some more Chocolate Fancies tomorrow, such a waste....such...a....waste'.!

Caught having an affair!
Caught having an affair!
Chocolate Fancies and husband!
Chocolate Fancies and husband!

The moral of the story is:

You can mess with my man but you will never mess with my Chocolate Fancies!

You got what you deserved!

Credits- Make your own cartoons from photographs

And - for creating speech bubbles.

© 2016 Nell Rose

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Comments 32 comments

DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 2 months ago from Northern Ireland

Great story. Really enjoyed that. I wonder what she threatened him with, no more chocolate fancies?

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 months ago from South Africa

What a lovely short story! Perfect descriptions. It reads like a movie. I love the moral! And the end.... so much better than a divorce. Lol!

MarleneB profile image

MarleneB 2 months ago from Northern California, USA

Excellent story. I like the part about easing the guests out of the house. But oh how curious I am about what Gillian threatened her husband with.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks Meg, lol! ah that's the secret ingredient! Heehee! thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Hi Martie, Aw thanks, and yes, she got him! lol! thanks as always.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

LOL! we will never know! thanks Marlene, glad you liked it.

always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 months ago from Southern Illinois

What a fun filled story. Sometimes it's best to not spend too much time in the kitchen, get my drift? lol

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

lol! thanks Ruby, I hate cooking, not sure where this story came from! thanks for reading, nell

suzettenaples 2 months ago

I am laughing hysterically! This story is too funny! The images-oh my!

billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 months ago from Olympia, WA

I laughed throughout the entire story. What great fun! Now that's a house I'd like to visit over the holidays. LOL

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

LOL! thanks Suzette and Bill! Goodness knows where the story came from, but it just arrived in my head! My muse must have come for a visit! thanks both for reading!

FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 months ago from USA

Very cute sense of humor you have there, Nell. I wonder what the threat was as well. Those chocolate fancies must be to die for!

Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 2 months ago

Nell, this is so funny, sounds like something I would do. I love it!!

I am with Flourish, I think I would risk a migraine to try one of those chocolate fancies.

Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 months ago from Queensland Australia

That was such a fun read, Nell. Great job. Your short stories never disappoint.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks Flourish, lol! this was completely different for me, not sure where the heck the idea came from! thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks Shyron, lol! want to know a secret? I hate cooking, and that recipe was totally made up! the photo on the other hand.....LOL! thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks John, just trying something new, great to see you, and thanks!

ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 2 months ago from New Delhi, India

What an enjoyable story! Your story and lovely pictures truly takes the reader back to those times.

Thanks for sharing this refreshing hub!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks as always Chitrangada!

Vellur profile image

Vellur 2 months ago from Dubai

Poor Gillian she was engrossed in her world not realizing what was happening. I wonder what she told Peter that he turned a new leaf. Enjoyed reading, an excellent write.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 months ago from England Author

Thanks Vellur, LOL! yes we will never know, but it scared the whoo out of him! thanks for reading, nell

Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 8 weeks ago from Riga, Latvia

Most amusing and delightful. Really enjoyed this. I was sorry it came to an end.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 8 weeks ago from England Author

Thanks so much Gypsy, glad you liked it!

Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 8 weeks ago from Georgia

Good job and great fun. I've never eaten chocolate fancies, or at least I don't think I have, but when I don, I'm sure I'll think of your story! Take care.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 8 weeks ago from England Author

Thanks Cyndi! lol! glad you liked it, nell

bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 7 weeks ago from Central Florida

The tomato sauce on Gillian's lips has thrown me. Was is blood? If so, whose? Julie's wandering the streets covered in food, so it's not her blood. Did Gillian pull a Lorena Bobbitt on her husband? Or did she sic the dogs on him? Hmmm...

Genna East profile image

Genna East 7 weeks ago from Massachusetts, USA

I thought those photos of the Chocolate Fancies look so yummy until I came to the final moments of your story. Lol. What a fun-filled tale, Nell...and written so well. I hope your Christmas was a warm and merry one.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 7 weeks ago from England Author

Hi Shauna, lol! we will never know! thanks for reading.

Hi Genna, thanks so much, yes it was great! hope yours was too?

lawrence01 profile image

lawrence01 5 weeks ago from Hamilton, New Zealand


Maybe that's why the wife isn't 'too hot' on parties like that :-)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 weeks ago from England Author

LOL! thanks Lawrence I am sure most of us are like that too! thanks for reading.

vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 weeks ago from Nashville Tn.

Loving this story. It's so much fun. Thanks Nell.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 weeks ago from England Author

Thanks Audrey, I love just writing without having to think much! lol!

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