Cloud Coverings

X.

Source

Specie

I tend to disbelieve

That I’m unique

Among my fellow-man,

That troubles troubling me

Trouble me alone,

That nostalgia

For a better way

Is mine

Exclusively!

So here are we,

To seek, -

Perchance to find; -

To be.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

 

The actual chronological order of my major period of poetry composition seldom grouped itself neatly and clearly into any single mood or flavour which external circumstances in progress at the time could determine, though of course external things influenced my thoughts and therefore, my poetry.  Perhaps because of being able to express myself via writing it, those externals failed either to dominate my whole attitude or to stunt my inner growth.  Instead, my writing nourished them and prepared me to blossom more openly when it became possible.

Poetry writing is able not only to provide means to capture and record one's external events and impressions, but even more than that, it helps transcend them, especially if they are unpleasant. I do know that writing helped me to locate, know and nurturing my vital "core" and to work through tangles and attain an inner serenity, which I was to so much need. So, of course, during that time and because of its multi-functions, it always seemed to  pour out as a mixture of all of that. It wasn't planned, it was simply the way it was.

This may help clarify that when poems are extracted for publication and they seem to emphacise only one perspective more than others, they were surely not written in that grouping as the "order of the day" for me, but were in a mixture as they poured forth. One of the values in writing it for me was that it allowed freedom to express contrasts while adjusting them and finding healthy balance.

I think perhaps that one must become at least conversant with one's valleys and even with a sinkhole or two if one is to become free and able to be at ease on one's mountaintops and peaks, without haunting fears of falling off into whatever lies "down there". .

Fondly

Live it all,

Begrudging not

The tumble

To the top.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

 

 Nellieanna H. Hay
Nellieanna H. Hay

Matrix

Perhaps

I should have warned you

That all my secret places

Which I may share with you

Are not enchanted islands.

There are some mossy

Caverns too,

With far-out spaces,

Traces of infinity,

Gaping crevices

With sometimes cobwebs

Casting grotesque shadows

‘Cross dim light patterns

That may filter through

The slits of consciousness

So slightly, none is lit,

Where even I’m a stranger,

Peering in.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

Gingerbread Man

Now you flee

Through tangled woods,

Evading your devouring

Mad and frantic.

When you become

Inedible

And give up

Self-betrayal,

When you become

Your real-life child, -

Allow yourself to be,

You will be free

Of panic.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

 

______ Nellieanna H. Hay
______ Nellieanna H. Hay

Urning Life

Here I go

Back in the water.

Third time

The charm,

My soul

The potter

Of its vessel

For eternity.

In with ebb;

Out with tide,

The sea of life

Is breathing.

The currents

Of the sea

I ride

Toward destiny,

Golden harvest

Of the heart

Where I reside

And drink the flow

In urns

Below

And learn

Reality!

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

More by this Author


Comments 54 comments

gqgirl profile image

gqgirl 6 years ago from Georgia

Love the poetry! Keep it coming! You write very beautifully :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

How sweet you are to encourage me!! Thank you!! :-)


SilverGenes 6 years ago

There is something wild and free and yet so very elegant about your artwork. It suits your poetry very well, which make sense of course. You are the artist. "Matrix" is one with which I particularly identify. And this one is magnificent:

"Fondly

Live it all,

Begrudging not

The tumble

To the top."

I feel that it should be on my wall. For the longest time, I thought that this was my own secret thought but here you are with the same... we are indeed together as "snow mist" in our own 'flaky' way. :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

(giggle) I knew I'm flaky but didn't think you were! hehe - Thanks, Alexandra.

The reason my artwork is wild and free is that most of it is only half-finished at best, which seems to suit it pretty well! The more I work on stuff, often the worse it gets! I'm not a real artist, besides. I just dabble. I run across absurd doodlings & sketches I did as young as 4 or so & they have the same flaky quality, coupled similarly with a sort of intense desire to "get at" the jist or essence of whatever it's supposed to be.

Anyway it's no wonder if they probably do suit my poetry, since it's sort of like that, too.

Thank you for comments which I can really identify with, too! You're great! And your talent if for real!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Hello, Nellieanna, if I only do half of the quality of poem you do, I would pleased with myself. Your poeams niggle me. I always feel that there is just little bit more to it which is witheld for whatever reason. i think you are a great writer. Thank you. I am glad I discovered you on hub.


suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Hello Nellianna Mam-this is 3 of AM here and I am still enjoying the poem on my hub pages, you know I have one on my pages too,but the copy write says the poetess is some one else and her name is - Nellieanna H. Hay,Thanks for the big gift.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

I love "mossy caverns" myself! But what really got me was the "tumble to the top." That is really awesome! Those "mossy caverns" really got me thinking, though!

Love and peace

Tony


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

I had no idea that you were such an accomplished artist (poet and painter as well), but it all makes sense; a rich soul can express itself in many forms and you are the proof of it. What a treat, Nellieanna!


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Nell you never fail us with your poetry or for that matter any other Hub you post. You are a true artist, you have the flare for painting us a picture with every poem you write and to accompany them with beautiful pictures that go very well together. I especially liked the ginger bread boy:

When you become

Your real-life child,

You will be free

of panic

So real, so true...I rate this UP...loved it.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Poetry is a sanctuary

Where unproven thoughts

May be spoken

Without arousing counterattack.

You have excelled at this. Wonderfully captivating talent.


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

How I love that last painting. Nice stuff, Nellieanna.


Joshua Kell profile image

Joshua Kell 6 years ago from Arizona

As usual, your words are beautiful, and your art exquisite. Thank you.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Beautiful, my dear. I really enjoy reading this hub. Good work.


SteveoMc profile image

SteveoMc 6 years ago from Pacific NorthWest

Nellieanna you are such a provocation for me. I cannot completely avoid your genre when amazing little tidbits keep tantalizing me. I want to hate it, but knowing you makes that impossible. What am I to do, I want to stop appreciating this junk, but I cannot.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 6 years ago from Louisiana

very deep and intriguing these poems are, very meaningful. i find them a but different from the other poems i have read by you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

hello, hello. Well - I happen to think you write very well. Was just reading your hub about Switzerland and am ready to pack up and go there, but for a couple of details preventing it! Yes - I guess that's right. There is always more than is told, but that may be because I was always writing and the "more" may have been written in another poem soonafter! I'm glad we discovered each other on here! Thank you for your lovely encouragement!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Suny - my pleasure, my friend!! It just seemed "called for"! I'm glad you enjoy it!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Tony, thank you! I guess it's always a bit awesome to stop and consider the intrinsic connection between polar opposites, isn't it? I've never hit "the top" but from observation, it seems those who do make it don't just go straight "up" all the time, but do a lot of slipping back and retracing steps. They say that Babe Ruth, America's great baseball player, struck "out" more times than he hit "home runs" - but he made it to the Hall of Fame. Sounded to me like it was a tumble to the top for him!

Oh dear. Don't be thinking too much about mossy caverns in my head, now! I don't want to be completely found out!!

Thanks again for your reading and comments!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Petra! - You do me honor - though I'd be too embarrassed to attach the adjective "accomplished" to my stuff. But thank you for thinking it's good. After all - it's how it's received that counts the most and I certainly have high regard for your fine mind - so maybe, what do I know! :-> I can certainly feel comfortable with "a rich soul" because I feel I am that. Whatever I can do comes from that source.

Anyway, the saying is that "it takes one to know one" - and you certainly ARE one!! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ken

I appreciate that! If y'all like it, that's what most pleases me! I need to paint some more, though! I have a lot more poetry than I have sketches!!

Glad you liked "Gingerbread Boy". It was written in 1971 and was the impression I was getting from someone who seemed to be running after "it" wildly but was totally missing "it" and unable to figure out why or even to know what "it" really was! The children's story about the gingerbread boy came to mind.

Thank you for the great comments and the rating, too!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear DG- thank you. I guess that's it - few counterattacks - so far, so good, anyway. And having waited so long to share much of it, now I'm pretty safe - - it would be cruel to attack a senior citizen, wouldn't it? (see - I'm using my head with this timing thing! :-)

Thank you for reading and liking it, m'dear! I greatly value your opinion and enjoy it when it's affirmative!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Suzie - thank you! That last picture was sketched in pastel from my husband's fishing boat while he was casting his lure into the "bassy water" there early one morning out on a local lake. Those mini-cliffs reminded us both of another lake between Texas and Louisiana where we had found refuge from a sudden rain tucked out of the path of the rain, crouched behind some little cliffs like that, eating our soggy sandwiches! Glad you liked the sketch!! Thanks for visiting!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Joshua - you're so gracious! Thank you! You're always welcome here!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Steve - not to worry - we're even. I always want not to like your practical tips, but they're so nicely & sensibly presented - and often so TIMELY, TOO - and they're just so doggone useable that they make it sound like down-right FUN to fix a sagging door, replace a gasket on the dryer door or whatever they're telling me how to do!

Seriously, now - I'm pretty practical myself for a gal, & I LOVE being able to do things for myself. So I'll take all the good advice you can dish out!!

By the same token, I suspect you've an itty-bitty little poetic vein running in between all the resource lodes of more practical stuff & expertise in there!

Anyway - don't look at me for help, big guy, to protect you from appreciating my junk, 'cuz that is never going to happen! Thank you for being tantalized and keep on being! How else am I going to get by here? And I promise it won't hurt too much!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Prasetio - what a lovely thing to say! thank you!!

I just went over and read your profile and I'm so delighted to meet you! It's such a pleasure to meet like-minded folks anywhere - but when we're half-way around on the other side of the globe, it's really nice!

I welcome you to HubPages as far as my little corner of it goes and appreciate your visiting my little corner!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Nikki, my friend. Yes - I thought you might find them somewhat different. You know how it is, when you write a lot of poetry, there are all kinds of different moods and viewpoints out of which you are seeing things and writing. Then perhaps we all tend to pick out those to share which express our most overall mood, forgetting that others can only see what we show! So I decided I needed to show some of the balance which has gone into my most overall mood, which is "uppy" and optimistic, if for no other reason than to illustrate that nothing is all black and white - there are many layers and flavours which go into working through whatever is to be worked through. Reading in my actual notebooks where I wrote sometimes several poems during the same day - it's clear that there were ups and downs and depths and heights to work through. I learned, I guess, to move along in a generally upward direction and it was natural to do. My heroes were people who had endured much and found ways within themselves and whatever external support available - to come out of it better, like raw iron coming out of the fire as refined steel. If my stuff has any value, it would be to show others that it is possible.

I thank you so much for reading and commenting!


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Nellieanna your poetry and art is a delight - I always look forward to your comments and poetry - always a pleasure.

When you become

Your real-life child, -

Allow yourself to be,

You will be free

Of panic.

This verse I really enjoyed - The Gingerbread man folk story is still one of my boys favorite books every other night. Thanks :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Billy!! I appreciate your mentioning you like that one. And also - you reminded me that the story is really about a gingerbread man and that's how I originally wrote the poem. I changed it here when I posted it for some obscure reason but I am about to change it back! Thank you!! :-)


MaryRenee 6 years ago

Nellieanna: What a talented writer you are! I wish I could write like that! :) Lovely, lovely! :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

MaryRenee - thank you for the lovely compliment! Hope you visit again and I've just had an enjoyable visit to your site!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

well well well well - after reading this I am giving up my day job and going back to being a plumber on the Titanic!

Yes - I`m speechless!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Thank you, Nellieanna, for that lovely comment. It is very encouraging.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

epigramman - now I just don't think I'm up to a responsibility of that magnitude! LOL - But I truly am up to thanking you for your abundant encouragement and kind attention. I always feel that you've really read and understood what I wrote and that feels good!

If you're speechless it's simply because you have great perception and you're so focused!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, hello - it's my pleasure and the encouragement is mutual!


BumptiousQ profile image

BumptiousQ 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

Love 'Matrix.'


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, I appreciate that, Bumptious!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Beautiful again, Mam, How many hours can you write such poems, Maita


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Maita, they're mostly written over the years, not in the immediate space and responding to major things. Thank you for the nice compliment.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Beautiful poems and gorgeous artworks! I draw and paint, also. Rated you up!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

I know you're a masterful writer, habee, and I'm imaginging that your artwork is of the same excellent quality! Thank you for the up rating, too!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Oh I loove it, Nellieanna. I went to your website!! Cool!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Melinda! Thank you! Glad you liked this and I'm so happy you visited my website, too~


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

I really connected with your poem the gingerbread man. Wow, the feelings it brought up. Beautiful writing.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

MT - thank you! I've just been on a whirl of meeting you and getting the connection with your twin sister all worked out! I am most pleased to have you visit my site and happy that you felt the connection!! Thank you!


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

Snow mist-Matisse in meditation release from form into the formlesss

Matrix- Aha!the gingerbread Lady has a dark side abeit coated in sugar and spice,but it is a nice feeling I get whenever I read your poems.Thank you


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

SR - You're so perceptive, though nothing is very hidden - just fully human here. :-)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

Nellieanna - it is so cool that you share your beautiful paintings. I love to see them. And the 1st poem really got me. So many people suffer that terrible feeling that they are alone in their suffering; that suffering is unique to their own life. Your concept that we all suffer this crap is so healthy - things would be easier to get through if we could think like that.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dolores - yes - I agree wholeheartedly that the more we can see we share the ups and downs, the more tolerant we'll be and therefore the less friction, not to mention just feeling better not being alone in it!

I admit that before I wrote this, I'd at times felt like an alien in an alien world. It was a comforting relief to begin to see that others are pretty much of the same cloth & suffer their own trials & tribulations. Even when we don't see their challenges visibly, just being aware that they do face them makes it easier to grant them some slack & benefit of the doubt. For sure, it does little to improve things if we treat each other as strangers or, worse - as enemies! Even those who may act like it may soften up if their situations are given consideration. And for sure - wishing anyone worse luck can only add to the turmoil everyone feels.

Thank you so much for the kind words about my paintings, too!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Reading your poetry is like riding a well tuned bicycle at the peak of fitness, on the smoothest blacktop imaginable, with a tail wind!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

WOW - now THAT is high praise, Micky!! Thank you very much!

Last Labor Day I went with my stepson to his grandson's birthday celebration near Austin, Texas, & one thing he & I did was go to a fantastic bicycle shop - "Mellow Johnny's" - there while some of the other family members were doing other stuff. You may know of it. Lance Armstrong was an owner, I think. It was really fascinating. I couldn't BELIEVE some of those bikes. WOW. Some even all hand-made. Just the accessories were fascinating to a greenhorn like me!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

(*(*(*(Micky Dee)*)*)*) - And that's a perfect compliment!


miss_jkim profile image

miss_jkim 6 years ago

Nell, every time I read your poetry I feel a sense of well being. Like the storm has raged outside, but I am now safe and secure. That is a comforting feel.

Thanks for putting into words what cannot be spoken by many.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Miss_jkim - thank you. You don't know how pleasing it is to think it is comforting to read my poetry. Thank you for letting me know.


hubpageswriter 6 years ago

Lovely combination of words. Emotions running through and I can feel the words flowing by. You're a real talent, thanks for the love.:)O

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