Compilation of Legal Text Jokes

" A Laughter a day keeps the doctor away."

Have a nice day with these legal jokes...
Have a nice day with these legal jokes...

Here are some legal jokes / text messages that will somehow make you laugh wakikik...

You can use the contents of this hub as text jokes or text messaging jokes to your friends and relatives. Hope you like it though...

Four kinds of SLOGANS

Preacher: I pray for all.

Lawyer: I plead for all.

Doctor: I prescribe for all.

Plain Citizen: I pay for all.

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… from an American Airlines Ad:

Why waste time on land and sea? We can fly you directly to your office.

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An open letter:

I was wondering if I could stay with you for a couple days. Everybody’s so angry at me and I really need a friend.

Yours truly,

Osama Bin Laden

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Judge: Do you know the import of your oath taken in this proceeding?

Witness: Yes, sir, it means that if I am to lie I must stick to it.

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Dad: Son, You are grounded, or better still you should be placed behind bars.

3-Yr. Old Son: Okay, I agree to be placed behind CHOCOLATE bars.

Son eventually growing up to be 16 years old:

Dad Son: You are grounded, or better still you should be place behind bars.

Son: Okay, I agree to be put behind every JAZZ bar.

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A practitioner parked his Expedition outside the Ocean Park Restaurant, went into the restaurant and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, accompanied by the best champagne.

A lawyer-friend approached him and expressed surprised at seeing him there. “It’s my wedding anniversary,” said the practitioner.

Trying to avoid a long conversation on the subject, the friend said, “Are you keeping well?”

“I’m OK said the practitioner, “But business, I mean my practice is terrible. I’m losing a fortune with all these bills piling up.”

His friend pointed out that things couldn’t be all that bad if he could still afford to eat at OceanPark.

“But last year, I could afford to bring my wife,” he replied.

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Wife: I’ve been to the hairdresser’s, darling.

Lawyer-husband: Were they closed?

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Dad: What do you want to be when you pass the Bar son?

Son: A Judge, Dad.

Dad: Why?

Son: Because they stop thinking after their appointment to office.

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Atty. Holmes: I have a clever wife.

Atty. Jackson: Mine finds out, too.

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Law student asking girlfriends hand for marriage: I want your daughter, sir, for my wife.

Judge who happens to be the father of the girl: I am not willing to make the exchange.

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Three aging college professors were discussing great personalities:

“If I had the choice,” said the Philosophy professor “I would like to be buried with Plato, the greatest philosopher the world has known.”

“And I,” said the Fine Arts professor, “would choose Michelangelo, the greatest artist of the Renaissance.”

They looked at the Law professor. He said. “I’d like to be buried with Pamela Anderson.’

The others were startled: But she isn’t dead yet.

“He grinned and replied: Neither am I.”

hehehe i hope you know the dagger in this joke...

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A lawyer who was about to embrace a sexy young thing was caught in the act and was asked:

“What were you doing?

“Ah eh… My wife says that I’m a great lover. I would like to get a second opinion.

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Traffic Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I said myself, 65 at least.

Woman Driver: I don’t think that’s quite fair. I think this hat makes me older.

This is my 17th hub in the hub challenge

Comments 9 comments

ss sneh profile image

ss sneh 6 years ago from the Incredible India!

Hi! Ha! Ha! Ha!... Do you know when we laugh our life span get extended! -- THANKS


Sardar jokes 6 years ago

I like the jokes..


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Okies thanks for commenting...


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Okies thanks for commenting...


hilarious text messages 7 years ago

good


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Pinoy text jokes are not readable nyahahaha :)


emievil profile image

emievil 7 years ago from Philippines

hehehehehe you should try having a hub about Pinoy text messages so that we can see their reactions =).


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Thanks ernestshub...


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

Ya gotta laugh! Otherwise you will never get laugh lines around your mouth.Thanks for the giggle mate!

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