Conversations in the dark
It was the month of June, I was at my home in Jaipur. The sun was at its peak, right above the Tropic of Cancer. Days were scorching and nights were no comforting either. That night ,I was very tired and didn’t realize when I slept. The only thing I could recall was that I got drunk before I slept. Suddenly my eyes opened in the middle of the night. I was drenched with sweat and my throat was parched (Probably because alcohol had dehyrdrated the body ). A glass of cold water, yes that was exactly what I wanted at that moment.
The room was still glowing with the neon blue light emanating from the laptop . Half asleep and half awake I tried to get off my bed and move to the kitchen still unaware of the fact that the next few minutes were going to change me forever. The moment I raised my head, I saw a humanly figure , and I was shit-freezed to death ! There was a man lying beside me! And a split second later when my senses came back, I realised he looked like me. I was startled beyond my wits to find another 'me' agaze at me. He was wearing the same shorts , and looked ditto, to the last strand of hair that I lost in the morning while shampooing. Unable to convince myself I checked out for the mole I have on the left nose, and guess what, it was there!
Then he smiled. I relaxed a little, but still stared at him warily. My eyes were wide open.. 'Hey, Hey! Relax man! Don't worry, I am just you, waiting for your decision' said he.I was silent, not knowing what to say, and I just nodded. . My courage returned after hearing my own voice coming from him. Even the voice was exactly the same to the last decibel. I thought by decision he meant how I would behave on finding my clone in the middle of the night .Time stood still, for I don't know how long, before I gathered enough courage and spoke.
'What do you mean, my decision. Who are you? I mean, am I really awake?' I pinched my self to check if I was really not dead, and this was indeed my bed at the home and not some hell/heaven/paataal as they claim in mythology.
He replied 'I am glad you asked that question and I would be happy to explain it to you, cause that is why I am here'
And then he began:
' Kunal, I am another you. I am your choice. I am homeless as of yet. Once you decide, I will go to another parallel universe. Whenever in life, you are given a choice, to choose among options, it is because the CREATOR is playing dice, he is creating parallel universe. Every time you walked one path, the other unexplored path, created its own universe, where another Kunal, like the one you see in front of you now, that is someone like me, walked.
Finding me bewildered and perplexed he said, with a twisted smile, I know it's tough for you to make sense of it, but that's ok, earlier even I couldn't understand. So let me make it easy for you.
So, for example, you had a road accident when you were a child, do you recall? "Yes , Yes I do" said I. So, there's one Kunal roaming in a parallel universe, who came out totally unscathed , I mean not even minor scratches and bruises, and there's one universe where you are dead. 'Shut up! Why do you have to tell me all this?' I screamed! But he continued ,remember you had a girlfriend, "yeah" said I, and how do you know all this ? , Stupid, you are forgetting that I am 'you' …. I know everything. said he proudly and abruptly. But lets come back to the point, so in some universe you are still committed to her and in another you are even married to her.
Right now I am you, but once you decide, I will have my own universe. My destiny is the choice that you don’t make . For example, if you decide to sleep now, I will get a universe, where I will make some coffee and take my life from there. So I am an outcome of your choice to sleep now, or not'
I retorted, 'So at that rate, every moment of my life, a parallel universe will get created, because I am choosing to do one thing or the other all the time'
'Of course, that's true, but do you exercise your will to choose all the time? How do you know that you are actually opting for a choice. Most of the times you are not . Rather you are just following what your family members tell you, what your friends tell you and what the society tells you. Very seldom do you choose to do what your own conscience and moral sense tells you. The universe are being created only to explore 'what if' the other path was taken. So it's not all the time.'
'Oh yeah, and you seem to know everything. So is there a choice for you? And I wonder, how do you know all this? What if I refuse to choose ? What will happen to you? Will you die?' (a split second later I realised, now I was talking about my own death. Oh but that is not me, but he is. Oh I am so confused! )
I have been created, thinking that you will choose to study tonight, but then, you partied till late , drank beer, danced to peppy-tracks and slept. 'And now my universe is getting ready, couple of hours late, where I will not have not do either of these, but study .
Haven't you seen the movies 'The Butterfly effect' or 'Dark City' ' or read the classical poem 'The Road not taken' by Robert Frost? Well they are all just bits and pieces of this phenomenon. Just like a few blind men touching an elephant and trying to figure out how it looks like. You will never get the whole picture, but yeah they are all partially correct.
You see, people always compare themselves with their siblings, with friends, with the society. That is pitiful. The actual comparison should be with yourself. For instance, in your case with so many ' Kunals' who are out there in different universe. Who are the result of the choices that you didn't exercise. One of them is a painter, another a writer, yet another a wino, a robber ,and even the President of his country. Don't compare yourself to anyone. Just Be yourself, and try to excel.
The moment is now, and you have to make a choice. This choice determines your future. The books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. And then you will be what you take from these. You would be a part of the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner…..and that would be you, Kunal.
Too much gyanbaazi, that too when all I want is a plain glass of water! I was scared, angry, confused and a bit humiliated by now. I felt my frustration of incomprehensibility of this bullshit growing upon me. And I decided to target him and shouted.
'So, get the fuck off my bed and go to your studious universe. Yeah , be the hero of your universe. Why are your sleeping like a homo with me'
He smiled, and said as he vanished,
'Thanks. You just chose to yell at me. And this time it was your conscious option . It's time for me to move to my universe. A universe where there's another me waiting patiently and eagerly for me to talk more, and not shout at me.' I felt like an imbecile as he vaporized.
Suddenly there was darkness all around. I couldn't sleep anymore. So I put on the lights , the clock showed 2 minutes past 4. Exactly the time my mother often calls as 'Brahm Mahurat' - a time when Gods travel to earth everyday, and interact with their loved ones . I went to the kitchen. As I was pouring the cold water into the glass, I turned around to see, if another me was hanging around somewhere. But there was nobody!
This happened yesterday night. I don't know why, but since the meeting with my choice- the another 'Kunal', I feel as if I am dreaming and woolgathering, all the time, and that this dream will go till eternity. I can feel the parallel universe out there. I can feel that the other 'me' was right when he said that. "You are the choices that you make, so choose wisely".
P.S. - It is a piece of fiction.
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