Creative Writing: Not Fade Away

This is an assignment I was given to be my final exam essentially in my Screen Writing class this past semester. I had to create an original screenplay within ten pages, it was tough task but I think I did a good job with what I had to work with. I just thought I'd share this article with everyone on Hubpages, by the way my teacher didn't seem to appreciate it at all. I passed the class and if anyone else is looking to take a screen writing class in college, I highly recommend it. It's a fun class, pretty laid back, but the teacher is crucial. Let me know what you all think of the script though.

WARNING - I realize some of this content is a bit dark, so I thought it would be best to warn those that may not want to read something that deals so heavily in death, post-death situations and even a little bit of brutality. Also the language at times can be somewhat offensive. It is all just a story, but this is just a warning.



Not Fade Away

FADE IN:

INT. - HOSPITAL ROOM

TRUMAN lies in a hospital bed sleeping as he is hooked up to machines monitoring his vitals. Truman is alone with no one by his side. His heart rate begins to dip to dangerous levels, alarms are raised and the attending NURSES on duty come rushing in.

INTERCOM- CODE BLUE TO ROOM 119!!! CODE BLUE!

Truman, who was resting comfortably begins to show that he is in pain.

NURSE #1 - Come on, Mr. Truman, WAKE UP!

The nurses attempt to help him, but his heart stops. The nurses try harder now as a defibrillator unit is reeled up next to Truman’s bed.

DISSOLVE TO:


FADE IN:

EXT. - BACKYARD OF OLD BRICK HOUSE - DAY

Truman wakes up to find himself in a beautiful garden. Any worries that he once had are alleviated as the colors of the garden are incredibly vibrant and the chirping birds sound like a beautiful song sung from the voice of an angel. He hears running water nearby and turns around to see a lake. Something about this strikes him, he has been here before. He gets up to see an old brick house in front of him. The house looks familiar but is a bit distorted. The house is blanketed by the woods that it is buried deep into. It truly is a beautiful venue from his memories, but he senses something sinister inside the house. He walks closer and sees that the back door is wide open, he walks through it tentatively.

CUT TO:


FADE IN:


INT. - OLD BRICK HOUSE - DAY

As soon as Truman takes a step inside he hears something off in the distance. It sounds like a scuffle between two people.

TRUMAN - This place seems so familiar, I just can’t put my finger on it.

Truman heads to where the noise is coming from and is alarmed by the sound of a loud crash. He walks into the room attacking the woman.

TRUMAN - Samuel, what are you doing?

Truman tries to interfere and save the woman from being hurt any further but his hands simply go straight through Samuel and the woman.

TRUMAN - What the f***? I’m I a ghost? Samuel, can you hear me? You can’t do this! Trust me, I’m your lawyer!

Samuel winds back his fist and punches the woman once more straight in the face. This punch knocks her back and dazes her.

SAMUEL - When are you gonna learn Judith? You can’t keep my son away from me. Jail can’t keep him away. I’ll be damned before some bitch like you will keep me away!

JUDITH - Please...stop.

TRUMAN - STOP IT!!!

A noise is heard from upstairs, which sounds like footsteps. A little boy comes trotting down the stairs into the living room to see his father. Samuel lets go of Judith and she drops to the ground. She struggles to get back up.

SAMUEL - My baby Brian, so nice to see you.

BRIAN - Daddy? Is that you? I thought you weren't coming back for a long time?

SAMUEL - Oh no Brian, nothing can keep me from you big guy. Come give your pop a hug!

Brian runs over with open arms as he embraces his father. Judith is uneasy as she tries to get up and get Brian away from his father. Samuel turns around to see his wife struggling as she is trying to make a move on him. Samuel hisses at her and waves his finger back and forth at her.

SAMUEL - See her Brian, this one here, your on mother mind you. She wishes to break us up. I won’t have that.

BRIAN - Don’t you love Daddy?

SAMUEL - Yeah, don’t you love me? You know I have feelings to.

Samuel smiles sadistically as he wraps his hands around Brian’s neck. Judith and Truman both gasp as all that is then heard is a snap followed by Judith’s cries.

SAMUEL - Why so blue?

JUDITH - Your f***ing sick! Your gonna burn in hell.

SAMUEL - Aw. Someone has a potty mouth, time to fix that.

Samuel drops Brian’s lifeless body to the ground and walks slowly to Judith. Judith, with the little bit of energy she has, tries to fight back as she crawls backward. Samuel grabs her by the leg and continues to beat her to death.

TRUMAN - Why? Why am I seeing this?

Samuel turns to face Truman and smiles. Samuel takes out a pistol and points it at his head.

SAMUEL - Now, I can be with my boy forever and ever.

Samuel cocks the pistol and is ready to fire. His smile is much brighter now as he closes his eyes and fires. Truman falls to his knees as he cries, baffled by what he had just seen. The three dead bodies lie in a perfect circle around him, he can’t shake the feeling that he is to blame for these deaths. He opens his eyes only to see the bodies have now disappeared. He turns around to see a bloodied and beaten Brian staring coldly at Truman.

BRIAN - Your lies killed us.

TRUMAN - I don’t know what you are talking about.

Truman attempts to run away out the back door but it shuts in front of him. He begins to panic even more now. He tries closing his eyes tight.

TRUMAN - I’m just gonna sit here, close me eyes and when I open them I will realize this is all just one big terrible f***ing acid trip of a nightmare. That’s all it is.

Truman falls to the ground, holding his head in his hands. He hears footsteps getting louder and louder. He cautiously removes his head from his hands and opens his eyes.

JUDITH - There there dear child. It’s not like you wept when you got that convicted murderer off. Once he was set free because of your lies and deceit in the courtroom he came to this very home and murdered my boy in front of me! Our blood is on your hands.

TRUMAN - No, look I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing. All I saw was the amount of money I was bringing in. I never thought about the consequences.

JUDITH - Now that you put it that way, of course. Yes I accept your apology.

TRUMAN - Really?

Judith shakes her head back and forth in disgust. Her and her son begin to kick Truman. He screams in pain, but they do not let up. He coughs up blood, and they tease him.

JUDITH - Karma is a bitch, what goes around comes around!

TRUMAN - Please...stop.

JUDITH - That certainly sounds familiar. Didn't seem to stop good ol’ Samuel.

TRUMAN - Look, I realize my shortcomings. I realize my greed has hurt countless people. What I don’t get is why I am seeing all of this? Is it like some sort of ghosts of Christmas past kind of thing?

Judith stops kicking Truman and laughs uncontrollably. She and Brian help Truman up to his feet and sit him down on a chair at the dinner table. Judith sits next to him, still laughing slightly.

JUDITH - You really don’t know what this is?

BRIAN - Silly child.

TRUMAN - Alright, what the hell is this place?

JUDITH - Bingo.

BRIAN - Boom goes the dynamite.

TRUMAN - You can drop the sarcasm you bitches!

JUDITH - We know someone that can break it to you a bit easier. He won't lie to you.


Shall we talk?
Shall we talk?

The lighting within the house flicker slightly, and ultimately break. Truman panics once again and tries to leave but is pushed back into his chair by Judith. He hears the front door open, followed by footsteps. In from the living room comes a clean shaven slicked back haired man in a white suit who calmly sits at the head of the table.

JUDITH - Sorry Lou, he is a bit hard headed.

LOU - Please, don’t shorten my name. My father gave me my name for a reason. For peons like you and this filth to call me by it.

JUDITH - Sorry father.

LOU - So Truman huh? Quite the contradiction right there. Do you know who I am?

TRUMAN - I am so f***ing lost.

LOU - Most people are when they are here. I’m the king here. Your people see me as the pinnacle of evil, the king of lies. The latter of those two is the only truth. Your people have many names for me, some I have grown fond of over the years. Satan, Devil, and so forth. Lucifer is my true name, some imbeciles like this one feel they can shorten it to Lou. Frankly that just irks me. Enough about me though, I am here for you. Another potential soul for my underground club. Exclusivity is the way to go. From one liar to another, you are piercing the veil Truman. Your mortal body is dying and for the way you have lived your life, my father, the one that sits up in Heaven like a child with a magnifying glass frying ants feels that you are not welcome in his town. Something me and you have in common.

TRUMAN - I went to the hospital just for a simple surgery.

LOU - I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Well, clearly there were some sort of complications. Either way you are not on a permanent stay here, thus I have no use for you. This is more of a out of body experience, those nurses and doctors are doing their absolute best to revive you. I would not mind a drinking buddy till then. So how bout it? I could kick back and relax for once.

Judith and Brian are surprised to see this man that they have feared for the longest time kick back and enjoy a beer with a random man. Truman didn't no what to make of any of it. His eye sight began to be distorted. Lou stood up and leaned on the table staring at Truman.

LOU - Looks like those medics have begun to bring you back.

Truman feels a nudge on his chest that alarmed him.

TRUMAN - What just pushed me?

LOU - The nurses are probably using a defib unit on you now. You’ll probably only be here for a little while longer. Truman, listen to me, if you don’t change up your life you will come back here when your time is up. You caught me in a charitable mood today. If you come back, don't expect such an easy stay. Now, be a good boy.

Truman is alarmed as Lou walks around the table and gives him one big shove. Everything around Truman seems to disappear.

DISSOLVE TO:

FADE IN:

INT. - HOSPITAL ROOM DAY

Truman finds himself awake in the hospital room surrounded by nurses and doctors. He hears someone crying nearby and out from the nurses comes a familiar face in his sister Izzy. Truman leans over the railing and gives his sister a big hug.

IZZY - I thought I lost you.

TRUMAN - I thought I lost myself, I promise to change Iz. I have to.

NURSE #1 - Sorry sir, but we need to check your vitals.

TRUMAN - I’m fine. I feel fine, I don’t care.

IZZY - Are you okay?

Truman smiles at his sister and nods his head up and down. He looks out the window to his left and sees the light beaming through the window at his face. A tear rolls down his cheek.

TRUMAN - I’m good now. I promise.

FADE OUT:

I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm planning to expand upon it one day and turn it into a book. I have a much bigger idea of how it'll all come together, I personally hate the ending. I had to wrap it up really quickly. I love the characters, at least how i envision them. In the script I was unable to flesh them out as characters. In this script I feel like they are carbon board cut outs, lacking depth and ultimately that leads to the readers/viewers not caring about the characters or the plot.

I gave the characters certain names for a reason:

TRUMAN - as Lucifer pointed out it is a contradiction. True+Man= Truman. Truman is a liar as that is ultimately what lawyers do.

SAMUEL - derived from the angel of death Samael. Samuel is a murderer, one of the worst that Truman defended.

JUDITH - derived from Judas. Samuel felt betrayed by his wife Judith as she tried keeping their son away from him.

LOU - Lucifer. I depicted him the way I did in large part due to a movie and a television show he was in as a character. In Supernatural, he was portrayed as a sympathetic character similarly to John Milton's poem Paradise Lost and at one point is seen wearing a white suit. In the movie Constantine, he is seen the same way, but not a sympathetic character.

Somehow people in my class didn't get this little interesting details. Either way, thank you for stopping by to check this out. I hope you all enjoyed it. I will leave you all with a video that helped me write the Lou character.

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Comments 5 comments

witwriter profile image

witwriter 4 years ago from Marina Del Rey, CA

I'd say you did an excellent job on the story line. Be careful about repeating the same word in a descriptive paragraph, ex: Samuel is ready to fire..Then use "squeezes the trigger" instead of "fires" again. Better visual..Keep writing. You have the passion.


Nickalooch profile image

Nickalooch 4 years ago from Columbia, MD Author

I appreciate the comments and compliments. I truly love writing, I love coming up with stories. In terms of the script, I felt so pressed with the guidelines I had to write the script in. I personally like to write books more than scripts. I like to use more detail, and in a script I realize it is frowned upon to put to much detail. So I struggle to find that happy medium sometimes.


witwriter profile image

witwriter 4 years ago from Marina Del Rey, CA

Stick with one or the other. Novelists like Tom Clancy don't write the screenplay for their book. Good work on your part. I appreciate your situation.


Nickalooch profile image

Nickalooch 4 years ago from Columbia, MD Author

I'm for sure sticking to novels. I did this for a class. Coming up with this story gave me an idea for another book.


Nightmarephantom profile image

Nightmarephantom 4 years ago from Columbia, MD

I loved it! This things is dark and gritty but in a beautiful way. You're very talented!

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