DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GOLDEN YEARS

INTRODUCTION

My fellow hubbers I gave my opinion of the term “Golden Years” in my hub “My Pet Peeves at This Moment”, and I haven’t changed my mind one bit about the term “Golden Years”. As I previously stated if these are “Golden Years” show me the bullion.

I can remember when my ex-wife and I were dating and she was coming to my house for dinner I told her to listen closely to the conversation of my parents who were then in their mid to late fifty’s. I told her they would start out on a topic and rove everywhere and the conversation would wander all over the place. It was rare if the original conversation or possible question would ever get resolved or answered.

As I’ve grown older I found out I’ve become my parents. My attention span begins to roam all around. I start to do something and end up doing three or four other things and the original thing is forgotten. This is very confounding.

I recently saw a great description of this condition in an email I got from Acra Max Publishing. They called it A. A. A. D. D.

 

A. A. A. D. D.

"Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers...

Now I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember

what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

-the car isn't washed,

-the bills aren't paid,

-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

-the flowers don't have enough water,

-there is still only one check in my check book,

-I can't find the remote,

-I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, --your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!!!!

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Comments 28 comments

nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

Great therapy! Thanks!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

nicomp,

It's a way of life and living. Thank you for your comment.


Putz Ballard profile image

Putz Ballard 6 years ago

Sad but true lol


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Robert,

I all part of living. Thank you for your comment.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 6 years ago from California Gold Country

I think I may have done that. At least you can remember well enough to write it all down. Voted up.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Thank you Rochelle Frank, both for your comment and your vote!!!!!!!!!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

You might want to turn the hose off haha, welcome to the other side, 50


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Dusty,

My water bill is astounding!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

Dear Tom,

You just described me from the day I was born!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Pop,

I've always been a little hyper, but my present state has skyrockted with advancing age!!!!!!!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

Dear Tom,

Personally, I just think you are better and far more interesting!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Pop,

You're making me blush!!!!!!!!!


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 6 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

It seems to me that I have done things like that most of my life.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

dahoglund,

I have also done some of this all my life, but I gotten much worse as I've grown older!!!!!!!!!


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

What am I doing here? I'm 2 hours late for lunch - might as well wait and just have dinner. What was that I meant to do? Oh, yeah, send an email...bye


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

sheila b.

Just a minute, because I need to read your comment again. I forgot what you said!!

Oh yeah, I forgot lunch and breakfast. Oh well I'll just have a big midnight snack!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for whatever your comment was!!!!!!!!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 6 years ago from Illinois

Tom, I'm sorry to say this, there is an e-mail like this going around. We all end up going around. In the "old days' we went up and down.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Harvey,

I quote the email.


SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 6 years ago from West Virginia

Love this hub Tom. I am only 40 at this point, but I sometimes am afflicted with this very problem. Last school year, I was sitting in front of the board and remembered something I wanted to write on the board. By the time I stood up and turned to the board, I FORGOT what I was even talking about. Thanksfully a few students were paying enough attention to set me on the right track. Anyway, thanks for a good laugh!!!!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Sheri,

I just got home from town because I needed to go shopping I ran all over town and didn't buy a thing. Now I need to make a list and go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your comment!!!!!!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Tom, I loved hearing about this day in your life! I try to keep organized and do post it notes sometimes, but still walk in a room then wonder why as I can't remember what I was coming to get! I guess we all deal with this as we get older but it is good to be able to laugh about it.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Pamela,

I had a similar circumstance today when I went shopping. I never did get the thing I went after and now I have to go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 6 years ago from Illinois

Tom, You quoted very well, yours was better.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Harvey,

Thank you for your visit and comment.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Tom you are dead right. I remember when I was young (I just turned 60 ) I would laugh at old people being so very forgetful and here I am today doing the very things they did.

While driving,many a time,I forget where I'm heading and for a few seconds I seem to not even recognise the streets but the next moment everything falls in place.

Thanks for making me laugh at myself.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 3 years ago from Moundsville, WV Author

rajan,

Sorry for not responding sooner but just read your comment. Thanks..


Matheus 22 months ago

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Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 22 months ago from Moundsville, WV Author

Thanks for the visit.

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