I Can Hear You daddy!

 To my princess and her demons



There are some hearts too small

to carry all the pain

The hurt too much to carry

on such a fragile frame

So hard to face the light of day

or find a place to hide

So hard to look upon themselves

afraid to go outside



I can hear you daddy

but I have let you down

I can not find your princess

anywhere around

I am so sorry daddy

I've failed both me and you

I can not find your princess

and I, so miss her too



There are some hearts so big

where room enough for two

Can hold the hurt and wound

it is what fathers do

The princess isn't lost

at times she can not see

She is always home

in the heart that belongs to me



I can hear you daddy

but I have lost my way

I can not find the princess

you played with yesterday

I am so sorry daddy

but the woman that you see

has lost your little princess

on her way to becoming me



Women is your heart

and princess is your crown

no more when standing up

no less when fallen down

you can not ever fail me

you can not let me down

just because your feet

get tangled in the gown


I can hear you daddy

but I wanted you to see

A very special princess

whenever you looked at me

I am so sorry daddy

but I wanted you to see

forever princess in your eyes

and not the girl I see


Then close your eyes my princess

and see my heart instead

you are not measured through my eyes

or ever in my head

Love measures always from itself

and not in what you've done

It measures who I am

not where you are from.

Comments 27 comments

nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

simply beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes thank you so much for sharing...


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon Author

Thank you for reading. Nice to meet you. I look forward to aquainting myself with your work.


dotty1 profile image

dotty1 5 years ago from In my world

aw that was so from the heart and sincere, so full of emotion ..look forward to reading more of your hubs :-)


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon Author

Nice meeting you dotty. I look forward to reading your work. Thank you for your kind words. They have a way of lighting up ones day. Be well.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 5 years ago from Washington MI

Oh arb what a beautiful heart you have. I sat here and cried reading these words bursting from your heart, and your precious princess. My what bipolar does to our souls, sucks them in and spits them out, what a loving person you are, and your princess is lucky to have such a sweet and caring soul as you. These beautiful words have touched my heart.


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon Author

I am so glad you came by for the read, crazybeanrider! Trying to grasp how to link to your hub! Hope you are o.k. with that.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Sorry daddy,

The woman that you see has lost

your little princess on the way to becoming me!

So sweet and heart breaking! I felt it deeply! You touched my heart!


arb 5 years ago

Fossillady!

That this has touched you, is evidence that you are someone's princess. I suspect that his heart is big enough for two and that there he dances with you when he is alone. Thanks so much for leaving a comment. Be well and thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Eloquent and beautiful. Conveys your heart of purest gold. Of course. Hugs.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

And my garden decorates itself in butterfies. What was delightful becomes a treasure!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

And such a lovely garden it is!


Sphinxs Sanctum profile image

Sphinxs Sanctum 4 years ago from Southern United States

Oh my Lord, Arb! My eyes are full & my face is wet. What a Loving, understanding, considerate father & human being you are. Such compassion. So you did, in fact, understand most or all of my poem. I am sorry for the sadness that your princess and you have both met. However, illness, mental or otherwise, is a teacher and brings forward the brightest parts of our hearts and souls. I wish I had a father as steadfastly determined to understand me as a human being, as you do your daughter. The Whole human. Your princess is a Very Lucky lady.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Then feel free to make this also yours. There are many of us who understand, whether it is depression,anxiety,ptsd, panic attacks,adhd or a host of others. There are many in hub land who write of it. All these illnesses require their host to travel twice the distance in the same time as the rest of us. That one should work twice as hard to cover the same distance deserves our admiration. Go and set the world on fire. It make take you a little longer, but, the blaze will be twice as bright.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

My gosh, arb, that is so beautiful. I know what it feels like to feel that I'm not quite making the mark. Your response to your princess is priceless. I like what you say in your comments, too, about how some people have to work twice as hard to cover the same distance. Well said. Great hub. Many votes and sharing!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hi Victoria! loved your poem this morning-Good-bye. Thanks for your lovely comment. All of life comes hard against our loves, we must turn the tables and make love come hard against our lives. We give the things that matter too little and the things that don't too much.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Oh arb--such a wonderful sense of the healing of the relationship and of the love inherent within it--do you know a book called the "Wounded Woman"? It is about the relationships of fathers and daughters--your piece puts me in mind of the wholeness that a woman can experience in that relationship--


arb 4 years ago

Hi Audrey! I am delighted that you enjoyed this. I am not familiar with the book. I am mindful of the incredible influence my love has on the daughters in my life. I have watched it as an ointment used against the wounds of life and am left to thank a God who prepared my heart to make it so. There is a tragic silence which clings to the wounded heart and too oftens lives its life without ever regaining the voice it was deprive of in growing up. I believe in restoration, even more, in its absolute need. Love can heal and restore a voice.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Again, I'm so touched by this, Alan. Interacting again with my family at Ruth's funeral and seeing how much she was loved, revered- really, yet we all knew she was never fully confident, because she missed the succoring reassurance from our father.

By the time I was added to the family and became aware, she was moving on with her life, so it was no longer very apparent but I knew that Daddy favored Harriet and Ruth felt the effects; she was caught between this perfect beloved older sister and the younger brother who was THE SON which gave him special billing. She simply hardly had a chance in that position and nothing she accomplished or could do quite ever filled that gap. She suffered what is now called bi-polar, then was called manic-depression. Her life contributed so much to so many, though.

As I read your poem, Alan, I was thinking if only she'd had a dad like you. The same man was a wonderful dad to me, he loved me and I loved him dearly. But sometimes the same people are different people to different others. And it's not always parents who make the rift in a person, but too often, it is the major contributor.

The family dynamics today were so REAL and found expression and resolution and at many levels. I felt like my prayers of many, many years were being answered. I can only wish for everyone the renewal of family ties if they're undone. It really does feel miraculous.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

I am thrilled for you and your family. It reminds me of the parable of the lost sheep. The joy of reuniting was only possible because of the initial departure. It is in our losses where the value of treasure is so revealed. We embrace it all the tighter next time around.

My daughters Bi Polar has only moved me to learn as much as possible about the disorder, to understand her demon and it manafest itself in the lives of those inflicted. The treatment is sometimes as much a battle as the problem. Never the less, love demands from us, at the very least, an understanding of a battle, which inevitably, is only won in the arms of love. Whatever of love, I have come to understand, comes from a God that has put it there. It is so much more than I could ever do alone. It is certainly, not who I was when starting out on my perilous and self absorbed journey. The dynamic of forgiveness has taught me more of life,love and relationship than all else lumped together. It is, indeed, the balm that heals every wound.I joy with you today, as quiet love blooms from long winters and fills your life with its fragrant coming.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

All you say is so true, Alan. That parable has come up in several instances in the last few years. I recall Michael applying it to himself in his first Hub profile. It seems that all of us are like lost sheep at times and in ways and it is such a thrill to regain the fold or to find OUR lost sheep regathered into it.

Ruth suffered from such lack of reassurance in so many ways. I always reaffirmed and validated who she really was and how very valuable. I think it was received and helped her, although my clout in the bunch was never all that great! haha. Jay tended to squelch her a bit, and her children both testified to that yesterday, though they adored their dad. She was deprived in a very real way.

Just awhile ago I realized that I have NO ONE remaining, living now - who shared my earliest days of life! wow. I am 14 years older than Carroll, so she was a little girl when I was going through some of my toughest teen years, and then moved on in other directions. Her snatches of memories of things we shared were those which impacted her young notice, much like mine of my sister 14 years my elder.

haha - She remembers that I called her my little 'punkin seed'. She recalled that I had a lot of shoes, of all things! haha - I did have flats and loafers in all colors - quite bright colors for the flats to really capture a little girl's attention! Hadn't thought of that in many years. It's kind of amusing because at one time in her early adult life, she had a burning desire to design and manufacture SHOES!. She has feet which are difficult to fit and the choices are therefore limited. So she thought she might just learn to make shoes herself! Isn't that precious? I did help her with her wedding dress and veil when she was grown - in the mid-70s.

Her daughters in their 30s memories of me are of entertaining them with making our own noodles literally 'from scratch' - rolling out the dough and putting it through a pasta machine. Of course the one of her lovely daughters whom I find I relate to most the youngest, the oneI only met yesterday. We shared so many experiences, having significantly older siblings who dominated. She's 23 and drop-dead gorgeous - they all have vivid coloring like Ruth and Carroll.

One of my nephews, to whom I've always felt a closeness, has joined Hubpages, by the way. He is (I'm fairly sure, though I didn't verify it with him): happyhal. That's a name he's used for email, though and it corresponds with the new hubber timing. I hope it's he because I left his first fantail! :-) He joined only a couple of days ago and hasn't written a profile or published yet, so there's only the nickname to go by.

He writes haiku, especially - a fairly new-found passion for him. I tend to be a rather strict critic of that form but it hasn't deterred or discouraged him, I'm glad to say. I think he appreciates it, actually.

Here I'm rattling on and on, as if I don't do that enough on any old day! But the day of reminiscing and revitalizing history all day yesterday stirred it up even more. I was among the ones asked to share our memories of Ruth from the pulpit. Mine was strictly ad-lib, because I was asked if I'd like to do it only minutes before. I just sort of felt impelled. Everything my other nephew (her son), two of her granddaughters and her minister said just stirred more lovely and so REAL memories of the person she was. Seemed that as any of us recalled ours, everyone was shaking heads affirmatively. She was nothing if not a striking presence in her life. And I can almost feel it now as well.

Thank you, treasured friend, for the things you've said. A "fragrant coming" it is, indeed! The sharing of your own personal experiences is wonderful. Mhwaaaa!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Nellieanna, I sent an e mail this morning and I am especially hoping tha you wiil see it through to the end with me. I can't explain it, but, its an unfolding vision which something deep inside is propelling and I am left only to follow.

I will look forward to meeting happyhal and welcoming him. I am so happy for all that unfolds in your life today. May He continue to bring healing, restoration and life abundant to all of you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Yikes! No - I left no 'fantail'! haha - I'm sure you'll translate it: fanmail! I see that my spell checker doesn't recognize the intended word and must have 'fixed' it - using a word it does know! Yikes.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

I was posting that as you posted your wonderful response to my comments. I'll check the email! Thank you for what you said about Ha! He is my brother's older son. There is some deep sadness there, but Hal's good sweet spirit is such that he has turned the lemons into delicious lemonade! He's a joy to all who know him.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Fantail - fanmail, whats a little letter to do

it comes across as it should, despite me and you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Tee hee. Yes, we're all gracious about such booboos! Thank you! :-)


pearlmacb profile image

pearlmacb 4 years ago from Switzerland

Touching poem Arb. I have a sibling who suffers from BP,very painful- support,understanding of the disorder is vital which you are giving to your daughter. THANKYOU FOR CONTRIBUTING THIS POEM TO EMERALDPOETRY(BOOK PROJECT.) APPRECIATE IT. BLESSINGS SIR


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Good morning Perlmacb, You are most welcome. I wish you well with your project.

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