Dead Baby Jokes (Warning: DISTURBING)

  1. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off of it’s head.
  2. What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
    Skidding.
  3. What’s funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume!
  4. What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
    You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
  5. What has 4 legs and one arm?
    A Doberman in a children’s playground!
  6. What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
    One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
  7. What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
    Nailing it to a dead puppy.
  8. When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
    When it starts talking to you again.
  9. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
    Depends how hard you throw them.
  10. What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
    Making a bong out of it
  11. What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 50mph?
    Stopping it with a shovel
  12. What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
    You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
  13. What’s the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
    The dead baby won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.
  14. Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
    So you can tell which ones are still alive.
  15. What’s present do you get for a dead baby?
    A dead puppy
  16. Why did the baby fall off the swing?
    Because it had no arms or legs.
  17. What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
    You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker

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Comments 28 comments

iwritegood profile image

iwritegood 6 years ago Author

I love dead baby jokes


Zayla 6 years ago

What's warm, tasty and hallucinogenic?

Baby's adrenal glands.


Stephanie 5 years ago

What's sicker than dead baby jokes,. Nothing ;p


Bwam 5 years ago

Uhhhh


xtraordinaryx profile image

xtraordinaryx 5 years ago from Singapore

seriously disgusting . i wish i never read it. lol


red99beast 5 years ago

what's worse than reading dead baby jokes doing one of them that you just read.


Jewmanshew 5 years ago

What's black and bubbly and taps on the glass before it explode's?

A baby in a microwave


rygir23 4 years ago

what's more fun than nailing a baby to a tree?

RIPPING IT OFF!!!!


RayMarie 4 years ago

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your cleats off to jump on a trampoline :)


allison 4 years ago

wtf man that's not funny


Adam 4 years ago

what's the difference between jelly and jam? you cant jelly your dick in a dead baby

---Nothing is to far---


PenguinsRock123 4 years ago

How many dead babies can fit in a trash bag? 7 and a half


Nyrene 4 years ago

What's sicker than dead baby jokes?

Live baby jokes.


luke 4 years ago

what the hell is wrong with you people


SWAAAAAG! 4 years ago

What the hell isn't wrong with us peoples


majjorness 4 years ago

haha SWAAAAAAG!


Awesome Kid 4 years ago

LOL THAT'S IS FUNNY!


with an H 4 years ago

Ha these always make me laugh (;


ZNGH 4 years ago

What's sicker than dead baby jokes?

A dead baby with a fever.


lol 4 years ago

Ahh! i love these jokes! so funny i fell off my bed laughing! LOL LOL LOL! :)


4 years ago

How do you stop a baby from choking? Take your dick out it's mouth.

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of ice cream and one scoop of dead baby.


3 years ago

They all died by the death note.... I would know.


Sick Freak 2 years ago

Q: How do you get 10 babies in a bowl?

A: With a blender.

Q: How do you get them out again?

A: With dorito chips


Mr guy 2 years ago

What's the difference between a baby and a Mars bar? About 100 calories


Chunk Norris 21 months ago

What sits in a corner and gets smaller?

A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler...

What's the best part about F*****G a five year old?

When their pelvis snaps...


Gage 20 months ago

What's worse than ten dead baby's in a barrel?

One dead baby in ten barrels


SwiggitySweg 12 months ago

Q.How do you make a plumber sad?

A.Break his legs and kill his family


patrick 5 months ago

Whats the best tjing about dead baby jokes

They nwver get old

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