Dearly Beloved:A Poem About Becoming Unwed

Source

Marriage and divorce are both common life experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by 50 years of age. However, on current figures, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher than that.

This poem is taking into account that divorce is now just as likely an outcome as the marriage lasting. That being the case, I feel we are likely to see 'Divorce Ceremonies' become as common place as 'Marriage Ceremonies'.

This short poem is an example of how such a ceremony may be worded.

Source

Very funny version of D.I.V.O.R.C.E

Source

Dearly Beloved

by John Hansen © 2014


Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today

To separate this man and this woman

From Holy matrimony.


Will anyone,

Who opposes this separation

Please speak now

Or forever hold your peace.


Do you withdraw your promise

To love, honour, and cherish one another?

If so, you may kiss each other farewell

And remove your wedding rings.


With the removal of the rings,

I now pronounce the marriage ended,

And you are no longer husband and wife.

You are free to go your separate ways.


God bless you both,

And may your future marriages

Be happy and successful

While they last.


More by this Author


Comments 61 comments

kidscrafts profile image

kidscrafts 2 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

Funny and sad at the same time... but it's the reality!

I am lucky enough to not be part of the divorce statistics and I hope that it stay that way!

I remember that a friend of mine mentioned a few years ago that it is possible to buy Hallmark cards (or another brand) about celebrating divorce! What's next...

Well done!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hi kidscrafts, Fortunately I'm not part of those statistics either, but many are. Yes, while researching this I found lots of greeting cards celebrating divorce. Thanks for your kind comment.


Eric Flynn profile image

Eric Flynn 2 years ago from Providence, Rhode Island

So many people get hitched for the wrong ass reasons. Glad to see the successes when they occur.

EWF


annart profile image

annart 2 years ago from SW England

Oh dear! It's sad that this happens so often, though maybe not quite like this! Same in Britain of course and I think the statistics are about the same. I like your last line - it sums up the attitude that people seem to have now 'Oh, well, we'll give it a go but we can always end it and start all over again.'

Both my daughters married within the last 2 years after a few stormy relationships; they look set to last so I hope I'm right. Brilliant idea! Ann


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos

Looool, i love this poem so much. good one! a very sad yet important issue. i love the way you penned it and the humor it raised. fantastic!!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Eric, is it that people get married to soon, or do they marry people that aren't really compatible hoping that they can change them after marriage? There are still some successful ones.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Yes Ann, It is sad. The stats are also similar in Australia. I think it's become too easy to just give up now rather than look for solutions to problems. I have a son who married two years ago and his marriage is going strong. I hope your daughters' marriages are successful too. Thanks for your comment.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you for reading this ubanichijioke. Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the kind comment.


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

John, great poem having such a strong satire ! My God, it is a consolation that you ended it on a positive note. Very relevant for every couple to remain happy and hugged.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Harishprasad, I am pleased you enjoyed this poem. I agree it would be good if people could remain friends after breaking up. Maybe if they have divorce ceremonies like this it will reduce the number of unhappy divorce court proceedings.


Jane Arden 2 years ago

Awesome poetry as usual John. Maybe if the divorcees had to undergo a ceremony like this it would remind them of their wedding day and what they saw in each other in the first place, helping them to stay together.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Sad but true and you have put a clever spin on it with your poem. I have been married since the age of 19 ... a long, long time ago : ) Marriage certainly takes a lot of compromise and truth. Always be honest with your spouse and there is always a lot of forgiving that is a must too. When I married, I married for life, come what may. I have seen the new thing with the florists for people getting divorced is to send black roses and bakers actually have a good variety of divorce cakes too. So, businesses do gain from divorce nowadays. Sadly, my children were the only children among their friends whose parents were still married.

Up and more and sharing.

Blessings,

Faith Reaper


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading and commenting Jane. Yes maybe such a ceremony would bring back memories of their wedding and why they got married in the first place. You never know.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for your comment, vote up and share Faith. Yes I also am still in my first marriage and my kids were in the minority at school as well, having parents who were still together. Businesses will always find ways of making money out of every situation. I suppose they will have 'divorce planners' soon as well as wedding planners.


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

Divorce is the sign of our times. I married at 19 and over the 33 years we grew apart in every way. I became a marriage counselor to make sure I made the right choice to separate from my husband, while we stayed friends. He remarried but for me that was not an option anymore. Been there done that. I'm in partnership with a wonderful man for 13 years and I know we will be together until we leave this planet.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hi Nadine, yes it is a sign of the times so we have to accept it, also that not all marriages are meant to last and shouldn't be endured just for the sake of staying together with nothing in common. I am glad you are happy now. Not sure weather that meant you liked or didn't like this hub...lol.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

What a wonderful idea, especially if the people are godly and believe that separation is the godly thing for them to do. Future marriages?


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Yes MsDora, it would be a more amicable way of divorcing. Future marriages assumes they will marry again. Thanks for reading.


pochinuk 2 years ago

Jodah,

The milk of your words drip into commonplace; people of sincerety.

Dignity is regional to the heart of the matter.

I have been a short distance away from elderly women who need home care; at times their stories become uncomfortably humid for me...I hold back tears when appropriate, and other times not.

They are honorable women alone for years in with true circumstances Unwed after many years of knowing that they truly loved their man. They are honorable women; dignified, divorced.

Love is preeminent and our words are important; I hear that ring in your composition here.

Thank you this is a tender subject and yet it's apprehension is a great responsibility for communal teachers of souls; people in the commonplace, sincere.

pochinuk


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

OMG how very clever this piece is! Sad but true, been there, done that. not proud just truthful. Thank you......


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

This is really nothing to make light of and your stats prove that..but the first picture took all the seriousness away.. I was laughing all the way through your hub... gotta read it over again when the chuckles subside.. that kicking the top layer cake out from under her feet priceless....


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

John, The last line topped this whole poem off nicely, "may your future marriages

Be happy and successful

While they last."

Your creativity and insight are to be commended.


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

Sharing on my facebook page for freelance writers.

https://www.facebook.com/cam8510?ref=hl


dragonflycolor 2 years ago

Hilarious and engaging. I love it!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 2 years ago from Louisiana

Awesome! Well said. They should have divorce ceremonies as common as divorce is! Invite all your friends and make a party out of it lol but for most it is not a happy time. Some people should just not get married at all. That is why If I ever get married I want to have at least lived with the guy for a few years first. Really liked this. Again well written.


cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 2 years ago from Los Angeles

Hello Jodah,

I have to agree w/ Frank's comment. The picture cracked me up! Sad statistics. If couples only chose partners more carefully, took their vows more seriously, and stayed committed when the challenges hit. . . Instead these rites of passage seem more to be about the big party. When the fun wears off, it's over. I've been there too, but it's been 25 yrs. the 2nd time around. A clever write :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Pochinuk, thank you for your wise and insightful remarks. It is a sad but real subject that needs to be addressed.

Always exploring, thank you for your honest comment, and kind remarks. You are definitely not alone in having experienced divorce.

Cam, thanks buddy. I really appreciate your praise and especially you sharing this on your Facebook page for freelance writers.

Frank, you're right it's a serious subject but glad the cake pic lightened the poem a little for you. Thanks for reading.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

A fantastic and very clever hub. It probably wouldn't be all bad if there were divorce ceremonies; what a civil ending. A former coworker of mine had a divorce party but she was a very unusual girl. And the chart you feature makes me wonder what the heck is going on in Maldives with their divorce rate.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hey dragonfly, thanks for reading and enjoying. That's what I write for.

Nikki, great comment. I agree it's best to live with someone first. I did, and we are still married after all these years. It's not always easy because there are lots of ups and downs, but if you aren't committed to putting in the effort you shouldn't get married. But for those that don't work I think ceremonies like this would be the go.

Hey Cat, thanks for reading. Glad you got a laugh out of the cake pic too. It helped to lighten a little a serious subject. I'm glad your present relationship is going well.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for your kind comments Flourish, and yes the figures for the Maldives is incredible. I'll have to try to look into that and find out why it is so high. If anyone knows maybe they could comment here and inform us.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

I love it! lol! and yes I expect this is the way to go in the future! no more do we have to put up with bad relationships and thank goodness for that! can you imagine back in the old days when people got stuck with each other for life? Ew!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Haha, yes Nell. Shocking thought getting trapped for life. Glad times are a changing....funny.


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 2 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Oh, wow! This is such a sad commentary on current trends. Where is commitment and faithfulness. You make it funny, too, with that very civil way of ending the marriage. Interesting to read, but I'm glad we continued to love each other and be best friends until death did us part.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks Blossom, it is sad, that''s why I had to make it funny. Yes my wife and I are aiming for 'until death us do part' also. All the best.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

A brilliant hub as always Jodah. Voted up , shared and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

Eddy.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Always enjoy seeing your kind comments Eddy. Thanks for the vote up and share.


SAQIB6608 profile image

SAQIB6608 2 years ago from HYDERABAD PAKISTAN

An interestingly practical life issue covered with so ease. I am also getting married next year. May God bless all beautiful couples.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading SAQIB, God bless your upcoming marriage. I have been married 32 years, so they certainly can work.


bluebird profile image

bluebird 2 years ago

Here's to couples who hang in there come what may, forgiving, overlooking, working with each other humbly as they continue on with their wedded vows. Of course it's not easy, but that's life. Those who remain faithful in marriage no matter what are the ones set apart for a special purpose in the world to come. If they can remain faithful to a spouse that is imperfect, they have proven themselves to be faithful forever to God the Father who is.

Kudos to all those so faithful in this union created by the Father!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Very well said bluebird. I agree totally. God Bless marriage.


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

wow Jodah! So poignant of something so tragic! When I married my current husband, I just didn't make a promise to him. I committed my heart and spoke a promise to God. No matter what happens, unless of course there is violence involved. Which I thank dear God there isn't in this case. Married couples should try to remember, that we are all imperfect. And it is with communication we get resolve issues.

I find it so sad, how folks get so caught up in the happy butterfly feelings of being married. Then after the "honeymoon" is over. They react to reality that the feelings of elation, will not always be there.

Yet, their promises should always be...if not for each other..but for God who sanctifies the union! Awesome as always! Up, shared & tweet.


jhamann profile image

jhamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

I love how you have found humour in this serious subject. I laughed while I was pondering the institution of marriage. I am glad that my wife and I have figured out how to work out our differences. Thank you for a great hub. Jamie


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Your article was humorous and unfortunately, too true, that so many marriages end in divorce. Someone said just yesterday, "Every couple should experience one of them having the flu before they decide to get married." It will show a lot about their true nature.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Jo thank you for that great comment. I agree with everything you say. The vows you make to each other should be taken more seriously. My wife and I have been through many good times and bad but we are determined to stay together and are still going strong after 32 years. It seems too easy to walk away these days when things aren't exactly as you expected.


SAQIB6608 profile image

SAQIB6608 2 years ago from HYDERABAD PAKISTAN

Jodah My friend !


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you Jamie. Glad you and your wife learnt to work with your differences, that's the secret. You can't go into a marriage hoping to change the other person..that rarely works. We are individuals and have to learn to cope with the others habits etc. I appreciate your comment.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for your great comment Peg. It is sad that divorce is so common. I am sure that the "man flu" has tested out many marriages and ended some.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hi SAQIB, thanks for reading another of my hubs :)


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hi Jodah - You come up with such original and interesting and funny ideas for hubs. Then you add a narrative to the poem and pics which puts the hub higher than many others. This poem and story along with statistics is just hilarious. I do know that the divorce rate of the over 50 age group is almost at an all time high. Is is so sad, but seems to be a sign of the times when many folks give up on their spouses and find it too easy to walk away. Sharing Blessings, Audrey


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for your kind words Audrey, I always try to make my hubs unique and glad I am succeeding. Yes the statistics are sad especially over 50s and people that have been married for a long time. It is just too easy to walk away. Blessings back.


Writer Fox profile image

Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

This is an interesting concept. While doing research for my Hub about divorce parties, I found a video on YouTube about divorce ceremonies. It explained that some people are having the kind of formal ceremony you mention to end their marriages and they even invite the children. Some people do want this kind of formal closure outside of a legal setting.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you Writer Fox. I guess this is especially good to encourage couples to break up amicably, and just because a marriage didn"t work you don't have to be enemies.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you Writer Fox. I guess this is especially good to encourage couples to break up amicably, and just because a marriage didn"t work you don't have to be enemies.


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

What a terrific poem! Ive practiced as a marriage counselor for a few years after I knew that my marriage had come to an end. I would have loved to have that poem in my counseling room on the wall, because I mainly counseled people through their divorce. I will share this around. Well done. (My first marriage lasted 33 years and today I'm in a permanent relationship for 15 years and love every day for the decision I made years ago.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Good for you Nadine. It would be a difficult decision to end a marriage after 33 years. I have been married 32. I am happy it was the right decision though and you don't regret it. So glad you like this poem and feel free to share.


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

I knew after one year into the marriage that it was a mistake, but my children arrived direct after, so I did my up-most to make it work. We had absolutely nothing in common, but what do you know at 19!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

True Nadine...I know what you are saying. Can't say you didn't try to make it work for the kids.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 18 months ago

This is a good poem, John. Some people have divorce parties together to celebrate their split, but I don't know about a divorce ceremony. Wish I'd thought of that. The worst thing I ever did was to marry no. 1 (at age 18) and the best thing I ever did was to divorce him 11 years later.


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 18 months ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hi Jodah - I like this marriage dissolution poem. I know the over 50 age group divorce rate has increased by leaps and bounds. I am still married, but it is takes a lot of work to keep a marriage together. I admire those whose love endures for their lifetime. If a couple try not to let the small things bother them and has a good support group, chances are better. Let us laugh some of our problems away. Thanks for the funny poem and bringing this issue to our attention. Blessings, Audrey


Jodah profile image

Jodah 18 months ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading another of my poems MizB. I felt divorces were becoming so common, and we know so few people who are still with their original partners, that I'd write this. could be more money in divorce ceremonies than weddings now.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 18 months ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hi Audrey, thanks for reading and your great comment. Glad you are still married, as are we going on 34 years now. You are right it takes a lot of work and it's not always easy but if you can keep your sense of humor and not get upset by the little unimportant things it can last. I think we are becoming the minority though. Blessings.

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