Deceased to Be (A Short Story by Martie Coetser)

Roland Darby @ freedigitalphotos,net
Roland Darby @ freedigitalphotos,net

~

The twenty miles to town pass unnoticed while Christine controls her thoughts. She has an unforeseen task on her agenda – the arrangement of a funeral. ‘Focus!’ is her mantra for the day. 'Focus on the here and now’.

Once upon a time regulations regarding the preparation of corpses were not legalized, but today a registered undertaker is the only legal way to bury the dead. She has chosen Finalé Undertakers, because the new manager is a stranger in town. She cannot allow any acquaintances to put a spoke in her wheel.

“The burial has to be on my farm," she informs the undertaker. "Where all members of my family are put to rest since 1850."

“Name of the deceased?” asks the undertaker, staring at the form he has to complete.

“You will find all relevant information attached to the deceased. Tomorrow morning. Please, I don't have energy for all this administration..." She fakes unbearable grief.

“Would you like us to take care of the guests? We have an excellent caterer and florist.” The undertaker shows the empathy Christine was hoping to get.

“Thank you.... for approximately one hundred guests." She knows that more people will attend to satisfy their curiosity, but she is not going to meet all their expectations.

She chooses cream-coloured paper for the program, a suitable notice and ‘Abide with Me’ as the song to be sung by whoever feels like singing. As scripture she wants Proverbs 24:16 - “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” Reverend Smith will have to prepare a suitable message, and frankly she doesn't care a damn about the sacred rituals of the funeral.

Choosing a casket awakes painful memories. Her mother was put to rest ten years ago in the most beautiful casket of yellow oak after she had suffered cancer of the brain for almost a year. Five years ago her father lay in a casket of embuia for all to realize he was a formidable man. Today she chooses the cheapest casket of pinewood but willing to pay for the most expensive one on the floor, providing the difference to be donated to the home recently founded for abused women and children.

At last she is back behind the wheel of her Jeep. An impulsive need to stop at the hospital to see if Marjory is still alive, hovers over her until she switch the CD-player on to listen to the voice of her favourite epigrammatist, Colin Stewart.

I patted a friendly doggie

on my way

to see you

and gee,

those flowers

had a nice scent

at the local city hall

on my way

to see you!


The farm Christine inherited from her father who had been killed by his favorite stallion five years ago, is in her eyes the most beautiful piece of land in the region – a paradise with its own mountain and fountain and two fast-flowing streams fed by an underground lake. Besides the stud, successfully managed by one of the best thoroughbred stud-managers in the country, the chapel and the hall is an extra source of income, though to the benefit of the local orphanage which was established by her late mother many decades ago. The hundred-seat chapel, built twenty years ago by her father, is a picturesque building at the foot of the mountain, and so are the hall on the terrace below, framed with large shrubs of all sorts - white Mayflowers, red and pink bottle brushes and yellow jasmines, all in full bloom at the beginning of spring.

She has taken her heritage for granted, spending most days in her studio, painting, to keep up with the demands of interior decorators all over the country. They regard her as the reincarnation of Picasso.

She forces her thoughts back to the ‘here and now’. The workers had weeded the cemetery according to the Leviticus she read them this morning, and they had dug the grave. Kagiso, the foreman and a proud descendant of a Basotho chief, awaits her, obviously baffled because he has no idea who will occupy the new grave in the cemetery he has to maintain on a weekly basis to the best of his ability.

“Kagiso, why doesn’t this grave look six feet deep?” Christine asks. The open grave sends shivers down her spine.

“It is, Mosadi. Let me show you..." Before she can stop the old man, he jumps in and proves the diligence of the workers under his management.

“Thank you," she says. "I’m giving you hundred bucks for the closing of the grave after the funeral, which means I want you to do it all by yourself.” She has known and trusted him all her life. Using a rope he had fastened around the tombstone of her late grandmother, he walks out of the grave as fleet as a young man. Holding his one hand with the other - as a sign of his gratefulness - he takes the money out of her hand.

“Shall we go and check the chapel and the hall, or can I trust your word that it is properly cleaned and ready to be used?” She looks at the evergreen cypress trees, a lovely fence for the cemetery, but blocking her view on the chapel and surrounding gardens.

“You will be happy about everything up there, Mosadi, but I’m not sure if the spirit of the one who's coming...”

She interrupts him. “Don’t you worry about the spirit, Kagiso. It will be too busy burning in hell to bother you." She takes a deep breath of fresh air before she continues. "I want all the workers to attend the funeral. I want them to sing ‘Abide With Me’. Will you arrange that for me?”

He stares into the open grave, confused, but willing to obey her orders.

On her way home the voice of Colin Stewart occupies her mind -


On my way

to see you

I said hello

Mister Sun,

thank you

for such a perfect day

and please don't rain

on my plans ahead.


When Christine enters the large, double-story house with the thatch roof that needs constant maintenance because wild pigeons regard it as a source of building material for their nests, the aroma of freshly baked anise rusks overwhelms her in spite of a leg of lamb roasting in the oven. Rosy, her childhood friend, housekeeper and confessor welcomes her in the kitchen with a broad smile on her shining ebony face.

“Christina,” she says, “you are just in time for a fresh rusk with a cup of Redbush tea." She knows how much Christine likes them fresh out of the oven, but dried out with coffee for breakfast.

“Thanks, Rosy, but I really don’t feel like eating now. Are you sure this batch is enough... you know how spoiled those wives of my brothers are. They will take exception if you don’t give them more than enough to take home.”

“You've spoiled them,” Rosy says.

“No, you did.”

“It was your mamma... she taught us how to be generous farmers. I’ve asked Abel to prepare vegetable hampers for them and Sam will slaughter two tollies first thing tomorrow morning. What more would you like me to give them?

“What about jam and canned fruit? Oh, nevermind! Just do whatever you feel like doing. I’m honestly not in the mood to organize gifts for my brothers and their snobbish wives.” She never blamed her two brothers for chosen money above the ground their father had left them; she knew they were both born to be the successful surgeons they are today. She doesn’t even blame them because they never took any notice of her, their baby-sister. “Their own children should be more important than you, Christine,” her mother convinced her before she was old enough to know anything about the importance of family bonds. For all she knows they will not even attend the funeral. When she was in hospital three-four months ago, they didn't even send her flowers. “Why care about someone who doesn’t care about herself?” is their premise.

The picture of her mother, smiling in a frame of gold against the wall halfway up the stairs to the second story where all the bedrooms are, captures Christine’s attention as always. “Mamma....” She decides to speak the words out of her heart. “I know you never meant to harm me. Those beatings you’d given me... you honestly believe you were obeying God. Proverbs thirteen verse twenty-four: He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves his son, chastening him betimes. Mamma, I always knew I was naughty, begging to be spanked by you who were so busy being the chairlady of every second charity organization that you never had the time to hold me in your arms. I had such a will of my own... never willing to accept rules. I had given you all your days, Mamma. I broke you heart almost daily.” Christine closes her eyes, fighting her tears, because they will soften her heart.

“Darling, you must understand, I love you,” her mother always explained. “It is my responsibility to raise you according to God’s will. I may not allow you to behave like a hooligan. Being cheeky to adults is a sin. The Bible says you must respect your elders. Please, darling, don’t force me to give you so many hidings.”

On her mother’s request she always put her arms around her mother’s neck and promise to be a good girl. She felt responsible for the tears that came running out of her mother’s eyes. She always blamed herself. Eventually she became addicted to her own feeling of guilt.

The next mesmerizing picture against the wall is Christine’s wedding picture. She and Wilbur were a beautiful bride and bridegroom, the children of the two most successful farmers in the region. After five years they are still regarded as ‘a perfect couple’.

“Sorry, Wilbur, I cannot be better, and this time..." No, she is not going to talk her anger out of her system. Let it simmer.

The main bedroom is the proverbial dancing hall, large and spacious under the thatch roof with its permanent odor of nature spiced with tar. The bathroom, accommodating a large spa-bath, a shower, a foot-spa and a toilet, all in the color of cinnamon, is Christine’s favorite room in the house. She loves spending hours in the bath while the water massages her aching body. Undressing had become the most painful action in her life.

“What a wreck am I at the age of thirty?” she thought while looking at her naked body in the mirror. She is a living evidence of a woman with fatal masochistic orientations, with bruises all over her body and collar-bones like enlarge goiters after too many fractures. But warm water, squirting and jetting out of stainless steel nostrils, comforts her like the tender kisses of a devoted lover.

In her mind the list of to-do’s for the day is clear. The funeral is arranged. The grave has been dug and the chapel and the hall is ready for the ceremony. Someone will pick up the phone to dial 911. When the police arrive, they will find everything they are looking for, including the invoice and receipt of Finalé Undertakers. They will follow all procedures with diligence. Rosy will make the necessary phone calls, as she had promised this morning with tears in her eyes.

Things will move quickly. The funeral will be the very next day.


After almost an hour in the bath, merely acknowledging her thoughts and the pictures presented by her brain, Christine feels tired. But Wilbur will be home in an hour and she wants him to see her as the most sensual woman he has ever met, the woman he had fallen in love with six years ago. She chooses the crimson-colored dress, disguising her ugly shoulders but not her mesmerizing cleavage.

Rosy had prepared Wilbur’s favorite dinner: Leg of lamb, baked potatoes, green beans, pumpkin cakes in syrup, mixed salad and sago pudding for desert. The wine is chilling in the fridge and the silver bracket with seven red scented candles is the centerpiece on the table laid for a king and his queen.

“Wow!” Wilbur says the moment he sees Christine. “What have you done to my wife, pretty woman?” He devours her with his intense, chocolate-brown eyes.

She smiles. How many times she had wished he could always be this attentive, charming and bewitching man, inspiring her to be a passionate lover with only one goal in her life - to delight him, the man of her dreams?

“Mmmm, you smell like exotic flowers,” he moans in her ear. His body, firmly pressed against hers, and his wanting hands on her buttocks, arouses in her the shivering need to be loved by him forever and a day.

“Shall I take a shower before dinner or after?” he asks with lust sparkling in his eyes.

"Make it after dinner.” She free herself slowly from his embrace, afraid he might get the idea she doesn't want him. That will make him angry; he can’t handle any gesture of rejection. She lit the candles and opens the hot tray. “Would you like to help yourself or may I dish up your plate while you fetch the wine in the fridge?” The calmness in her voice surprises her.

“Oh, go on and spoil me,” he says. “I’ll get the wine.”

“To us!” he utters his usual toast when they sit opposite each other at the table for twelve, elegantly reduced to a table for two with the seven red candles in their silver bracket.

“How was your day?” she shows her usual interest, although she knows he will not burden her with the nitty-gritty of his flourishing company.

“Besides Marjory’s absence, everything went according to plan, as always.” He enjoys his food as if Marjory was not admitted to hospital last night where she is either dead by now or still fighting for her life.

“What’s the matter with Marjory?” As if she doesn't know. Poor woman was appointed as his private secretary only six months ago. She is only twenty-two years old. What does she know about men, not to talk about men with psychological disorders?

“She was attacked by a burglar. Beaten up. The bloke had apparently broken her back but I’ve heard she is still alive.” He always lies without blinking an eye.

There is no hope in heaven or hell that you will ever change, she thinks while sipping her wine.

“When... did it happen?” she manages true concern in her voice, as if she knows nothing. As if she believes he was present at the meeting of the church’s Building Committee last night.

“Yesterday evening, just before seven.” He wipes his mouth, all of a sudden irritated. “Listen, if I wanted to talk about Marjory, I would have done so last night when you came home at whát fuckin' time. Don't let me ask you where you were." His eyes darkens, as always when he feels threatened.

She yawns behind her hand in an effort to get some oxygen on her brain; she tends to hold her breath too long in times like this.

He abruptly stands up. “Let’s leave the desert for later. Let’s go upstairs. You look absolutely stunning, my angel. When was the last time you went out of your way to please me like this?” The intense look in his eyes scares her; his thoughts can change any moment now from positive to negative; outrageous anger can overwhelm him; he can change from charming lover to a merciless devil in one second.

“Wilbur...." Oh no, her voice is filled with fear, and her mouth is all of a sudden as dry as a whistle. "I have... missed you the entire day. You go take a shower. I’ll be with you in a few minutes.” She teases him with her naughty-girl-yearning-for-naughty-boy-smile as if her heartbeat is not accelerating to the point of standstill.

Towering over her, he lifts her chin with his finger. “I love you, Christine. Don’t you ever doubt my love for you.”

“I love you too, Wilbur.” She looks him in the eyes. How pathetic are they both? Masochist and sadist, the perfect couple.

He goes upstairs, whistling cheerfully and she walks out on the porch where a chilly breeze embraces her. She briefly considers her Plan B – to phone the police and give them the name of the so-called burglar who had taken the life or at least ruined the life of an innocent woman. But she is beyond the point of no return.


She had passed the point the night before while she was looking at Marjory’s swollen face and the redness under her skin that would rapidly turn blue and eventually yellow. For the fist time in five years she saw herself in Marjory, a pathetic woman who allows a man to hurt her in the most humiliating way with his fists, feet and head like an animal who went crazy with rabies.

“Why did you not warn me?” Marjory wanted to know, barely able to speak with her swollen lips and neck clamped with a brace. “You should have told me your husband is crazy.”

Overwhelmed with disgust Christine returns to the dining room.

“Christine!” Wilbur shouts down the stairs.

“I’m coming!”

One of three guns in the house, always loaded as self-protection against criminals targeting farmers, is on top of the book shelve next to the stairs. It feels cold and heavy in her hand.

Halfway up the stairs she touches the picture of her mother. “I always loved you, Mamma, and I will never blame you... You had no idea what your were doing..."

“Christina!” Wilbur shouts.

“I’m on my way!” Christine shouts, and the voice of her favorite poet fills her mind.

I've got to tell

the whole world

after today

I will never

have to see you,

as I climb these stairs,

and believe me,

it will be the last time

you ever see

anyone

again!


Wilbur on the bed, waiting to be loved the way he loves to be loved. His mouth opens like that of a fish on dry land. But this time she is not going to allow his voice to touch any of the twisted strings in her heart. She pulls the trigger, and again and again while shocks shudder through her always-aching shoulder.

At last the gun falls out of her hand.

She closes his staring eyes, as she had planned to do. Then she walks backwards to sink into the nearest chair.

The deceased to be is now finally deceased. All she has to do now is wait for the next thing to happen.

~

© Martie Coetser (November 2011)


Master isolated images @ freedigitalphotos.net
Master isolated images @ freedigitalphotos.net

Author's note:

This story is fiction. The author is not a victim of a wife beater, though she remember one vicious fight and bloody scratch marks that were not on her face.

"Deceased To Be" written by Martie Coetser was inspired by epigramman@hubpages.com

Colin Stewart aka Epigramman @ HubPages
Colin Stewart aka Epigramman @ HubPages

On my way by Epigramman

I patted a friendly doggie

on my way

to see you

and gee,

those flowers

had a nice scent

at the local city hall

on my way

to see you!

E-books by the Epigramman

Click thumbnail to view full-size
http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Thirty-by-epigramman-http://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Thirty-by-Epigramman-
http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Thirty-by-epigramman-
http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Thirty-by-epigramman-
http://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Thirty-by-Epigramman-
http://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Thirty-by-Epigramman-

I helped a little old lady

across the road

on my way

to see you.

I said hello

Mister Sun,

thank you

for such a perfect day

and please don't rain

on my plans ahead.

Hello Mister cab driver,

please keep the change

'cos I'm in a hurry

to see you

with thoughts

of Gene Kelly

in my hop,

skip,

and jump

when the choreography

of life

has brought me here

to see you.

I've got to tell

the whole world

after today

I will never

have to see you,

as I climb these stairs,

and believe me,

it will be the last time

you ever see

anyone

again!

Roland Darby @ freedigitalphotos,net
Roland Darby @ freedigitalphotos,net

More by this Author


Comments 105 comments

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Here climb right up on this couch. We'll talk about this.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Girlfriend, Martie,

The bloody scratch marks NOT on our faces are the ones that make us write with this kind of power and force!

The picture you selected is stronger than steel... so are you and this story, which is just KILLER!

I believe epi has inspired quite a story out of you... voted UP & AB, mar!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

marcoujor you are so right. This is a teriffic piece of writing. Quick paced, with an icy feel in the air.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Martie, I was not sure at first but it all fell into place perfectly. And you opened my eyes to Epi without the beard. He is adorable. However the focus always stayed on the story which is so complex that I found a glass of wine to compliment it.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

The description is so vivid that I felt like being in a funeral, and anger burgeoning inside me. Your poetry helps the readers to get into the mind of the character.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Mckbirds - I told you you're going to need that couch... :) Let me tell you, your advice to me on a previous story of mine, was all the way in my mind... 'Go all the way', you've said, 'don't hold back'. Gosh, how lucky am I to have a friend in you.

This morning this story seems to be too long for me, and I wonder what can I cut without ruining the important (for me) background. Thanks for taking the time to read this, Mike. You'll never know how much I appreciate your comments. Have a lovely Friday!

(6:30am SA-time)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

marcoujor – my precious friend, thanks so much for your support. Remembering those scratch marks, I wonder why I was able to NOT accept any physical abuse – if you want to see me change into a vicious animal, just touch me - but when it comes to emotional abuse I am, no was, a masochist. Thanks for the fantastic vote! Hugs going your way.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hyphenbird – It is Friday... I might decide to enjoy a bottle of wine tonight with my friends.... if the police don’t take me into custody. Thanks so much for your comments - always so-so sharp and refreshing.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Vinaya Ghimire – I love the fact that you could feel the anger.... I deliberately tried to transfer Christine’s anger into the heart of the reader. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

TO ALL -

Links of your entries for the contest may be posted in this forum -

http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/86040#top


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

......hot damn - I so loved this concept, the writing, the idea behind it - just who the heck is that good looking dude Epi and without the cat too - lol - Yes I adore this piece of visceral writing so much that I must post it proudly with the joy of a little boy in a candy store with too much money to spend - but eyeing that pretty lady behind the counter too - and saying to himself - she's hot but her writing is even hotter!!!!!

Lost myself there in the translation 'cos I'm so excited and I need to give you a virtual hug for this and like I said before - post it to my FACEBOOK page with a direct link back here - Quentin Tarrintino should direct this script into a film - but I want to take the leading lady which is Martie the Magnificent - home with me!

lake erie time 5:10am


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Wow this was almost like watching a movie, such a visually written story. I loved they way you brought Epi into this, he has a strong infuence on many of us.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading great story


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

epigramman – I’m so glad you like this, as there are many of your epigrams I would like to use as themes for short stories. Your repertoire of hubs is a goldmine for fiction writers – you could ask entrance fees. Thank you for all your lovely compliments. I do appreciate them – like a delicious caramel liqueur after dinner. Take care.

SA-time 2:30pm


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

First of all, dear Martie, PLEASE resist the urge to cut this story... a story takes as long as it takes, at least to me!

Second, what a wild idea! The thought of selecting any number of that dashing young man, epi's, fabulous "grams" and fashioning an exciting anthology of stories sounds AWESOME! Now that would make a great gift, mar!


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

This was a spell binding story, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. I loved the way you incorporated epigramman's poetry into the story-it's a winner!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 5 years ago from Sweden

Martie, This story is a masterpiece and I am so impressed by your writing! You manage to make your characters so alive and while I read it I get glimpses of their lives that make me create pictures in my head! That is reading, when it is at it´s best. I love this story and the way you wrote it. It is a relief to know that women are strong even if it takes a while sometimes. I am grateful to Epigramman that inspiring you. You are a great team:) Voted up, awesome and more!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Tina


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Martie, I am amazed. This story is so intriguing and wicked. You talking to your Mother's picture, her cruelty to you when you were a child, a cheating husband, all told with vivid vengeance. You have found your niche in suspenseful writing. Can you tell that i LOVED it? Bravo.. You made Epi proud....


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

marcoujor – I will resist the urge just because you’ve asked me to. You will be amazed when you allow your imagination to galop away on one of Epi’s poems. His poems are like those pictures psychiatric counselors show their patients. Take care, mar. I’m off to bed now (2:30am – Saturday) -


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

No one could ever accuse you, Martie, of lacking in imagination, creativity and deep emotion. All three are plentiful in this engrossing story. Which if I were to hazard a guess, may be somewhat cathartic. Whatever works, I always say. Brava, m'luv, and up to you.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Stephanie Henkel – Thank you so much for reading and for giving me such inspiring and much appreciated feedback. I’m looking forward to meet you in your corner... in one of your hubs.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

thougtforce – What shall I do/be without your support in here, Tina. You are so part of the wings I need to move in here.... This comment means particulary a lot to me – for you’ve assured me that I’ve hit one of my targets. Thanks a lot!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Martie. Sunnie Day and I have made some mock book covers of Epigramman book titles we would like to see.

http://sunnie-day.blogspot.com/

I hope you enjoy them.

Mike


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

always exploring – my dearest co-party animal, how I love this marvelous feedback from you. Wow! I’m so inspired now, I can write an entire novel.... Thank you so much, Ruby!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

drbj – I can say the same to you – you are part of the wings I need to fly in Hubland. You do know we don’t walk, but fly in cyberspace? Well, I guess women-beaters will hence hate me, because I incite their poor wives to kill them without winking their eyes. Gosh, how I hate men who abuse their wives and children in any way. If I had the power I would have wiped them off the surface of this planet. I don’t care what tragedies in their childhood motivate them to do what they are doing. There are always reasons in the past we can use as an excuse to kill today. Thanks so much for your inspiring feedback.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Hi Martie,

I knew I was in for a treat just from the intriguing title and it got even better from there on out!

This was a chilling read, mainly because you really gave us an in depth background of why Christine was so angry and bitter. I would keep every word in place and not change a thing.

Great job. Rated up.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

mckbirdbks – I don’t know words to tell you how impressed I am with Sunnie Birds eBook Services - book cover designs and illustrations available BY DONATIONS ONLY. Believe me, I’m giving you – in your capacity as http://mockingbirdbooksgl.com/ and Sunnie an applause you’ve never heard in your life before. Hear it: )(()()()xxxxx(). Now I must compile anthologies, just to get it book-covered by you.

I’ve seen the link in FB, and I did register a note in my mind, but time to follow it just did not present itself until you’ve made it now so easy for me. This must be a sign :)))) (I’m into signs, really :))) Now how are we going to get Epi so far to get his epigrams covered by those so-impressive designs?


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Happyboomernurse – I love your comment. Thanks a lot for inspiring me like this. After all these lovely comments I really feel like tackling a major writing project. I’ll see you too in your corner before (my) midnight. (Now 8:20am-SA)


Clairepeek profile image

Clairepeek 5 years ago

Good Morning Martie!

Tremendous story... & story telling. At first, it felt like Christine was planning her own funeral until you brought her husband in the picture. She looked like she was saying goodbye to everything and everyone... but maybe she was since the next thing that would happen would take her away... right?! This story is very powerful, without a dull moment. It is look all good books, impossible to let go until you read it all.

One more thing, very clever the way you included the Epi-man into the story. He can be such an inspiration, it is great to see.

Well done Martie, UP and all but funny ^_^.

Hugs

Claire


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Martie,

Greetings from MAKUSR. That's what I call a story. The way it unfolds! You Martie! I'll keep this. Epi, has inspired you to write this piece as he has inspired many others, like me. Why did you add Author's note? The photo looks like James Bond babes but after reading your story it looks convincing, with poignant expression on the face. Full marks to you Martie. I won't tip-toe over the buttons though. I will push them convincingly, except the funny one of course, for the writer deserves it. Wow!

Lots of Love,

MAKUSR

P.S:- You've inspired me for a poem. It'll come soon.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Clairepeek – Thank you so much for your opinion. Yes, I intended to keep the readers attention by not stopping them to suspect that she is planning suicide.... it is really good to know that I’ve indeed succeeded in this. It would have been nice if I could have worked a surprising twist at the end, but I could not think of any twist that would not ruin the message of the story. So I just went the straight way. Thanks again, Claire! Your opinion means a lot to me.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

makusr – I appreciate your comment sincerely. I’ve added author’s note because most of my writings are biographic and I just want the reader to know when it is not the case. Especially here in HubPages I want to be just me writing fiction based on my own experiences. Now this story was based on Epi’s poem, and the detail I’ve added is general knowledge and not personal experiences. Mind you, my father was buried in a coffin of emboya, and those lovely shrubs are growing in my garden....

I’m looking forward to read your poem.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

An excellent piece, Martie! A riveting narration that draws the reader in, and culminates in a shattering climax.

Well done.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Well my dear I'm sure glad you got that out of your system and joined your friends for wine Friday night. You never cease to amaze me, how you can develop a story from beginning to end and have us all mesmerized by your talent. Your use of imagery is brilliant as always.

Choosing your favorite poet to enhance your thoughts was magnificent. I read how happy the Epi man was with your talent and the use of his fine picture, like he said without his pussycats. You won't be the first nor the last who did or wished to pull the trigger on their abusive other half. I know when I was a boy, if a pistol or shotgun was by my side, I would have used it without any hesitation against the beast that lived with us and treated my mother so unkindly.

Martie I vote this beauty way over the top and dance all over your buttons, including the funny one, because you do have a very appetizing wicked sense of fun and humor. Bravo, now take a bow.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Hi Martie,

I loved this brilliant story and also the poem by our very own epi who inspired this gem.

Here's to so many more to share

Take care and have a wonderful weekend.

Eiddwen.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

WillStarr – Why do I treasure and not merely appreciate your opinion? One of my guidelines in life comes from Napoleon Hill: “Who said it can not be done? What great victories does he have to his credit to judge others accurately?” Now you are the Victor Ludorum Short Story writing, and that is why I treasure your comment. Thank you.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

saddlerider1 – I don’t know why, but your comment pulled my tears. You, too, are one of my favorite poets, the most favorite in the genre melancholy. Yes, Epi’s wide variety of epigrams is a rich source of ideas for all writers in all genres, and an idea came to mind: If all of us base a poem or short story on any of the 1007 epigrams to date in Epi’s repertoire, would that not be the ultimate proof that HubPages is a place where writers develop to a level beyond the trivial and humdrum and achieve their goals by merely supporting each other?

You know I treasure your opinions because your experiences in life have indeed given you the required depth and insight to judge others accurately. (See the relevant quote in my reply to WillStarr’s comment.)

Must add: May I never cease to amaze you, for I enjoy and appreciate your interest.

Oh, and before I say bye for now: Did you say I have a wicked sense of fun and humor? Give me a moment to consider which broom to mount today – the black one called Anger Revenge, the red one called Flirt Daring, the pink one called Mother Theresa, or the yellow one called Vixen of all Sorts. Maybe I’ll surprise you today :)))


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

I love your brooms, you keep sweeping me off my feet LoL, however you can ride your black one all by yourself and I will go hide in my cave until you fly by on your Yellow one LoL, you are always full of surprises. he he


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Eiddwen – I’m so happy to see you with that bottle of champagne and two glasses in your hand. Since I’ve killed a wife-beater, I feel like drinking a toast on all women who have the guts to free themselves from a man who treats them with disdain. Of course not via murder, but by killing their own fears for the unknown feature and just step out of the degenerating depths they are in.

If I was a billionaire I would develop farms into homelands for women and their children where women could discover their own strength and ability to live independent of men. Of course they will have the right to leave the farm to spend time (a life time if they wish) with the man of their dreams, but with the assurance they are independent beings able to survive without a man who can change their lives in a living hell. Seriously, I will burn all my bras to realize this dream.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I have heard of an arms bizarre but an arms brassiere.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

@@@ Saddle, I can see myself on my black broom, whirling at the entrance of your cave.... Then I sense you are not one of THEM, and I will rush home to get my.... mmmmm pink... no, yellow broom. Then you and I can tour the world on my yellow broom. And perhaps we can pay a visit to the man on the moon.... :)))) Don't ever misjudge my imagination...

@@@ mckb - The power of the arms brassiere surmount the power of all other arms. And this is a fait accompli... @)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Martie. You have had a break now. This could be the outline of your novel. Your first novel??? Surely not. I hope you are enjoying your Sunday.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

mckb - Now what a surprise! This is now the 2nd morning I enjoy Emerald Café’s home-delivery service – a pot of steaming pure coffee and a smile-provoking message. Well, it takes only three days to become an addict, so I see myself in my crystal ball a week from now crawling through the intricate network of The Web, looking for a bird called mck who was supposed to fix my need for a smile.... @?)

I wonder what shall I make the theme of such a novel? A woman's life in jail? Woman haunted by dead husband's ghost? Or what about a woman changing into a praying-mantis in the arms of her victims.... @?!)

Mike, 10-15 years ago I've written a few (3) time-consuming and exhausting novels for teenagers (as I was requested to target after an unsuccessful manuscript for adults... they had assured me that their suggestion was not an insult, but a compliment). All 3 novels were accepted in principle but had to be adjusted according to the editor's will. Now observing my friends in the world of writers, dancing to the will of those gods-of-all-writers, and so often, after they had sweat words and paragraphs for many moons, just to experience the Flames-of-Rejection, I counted my talents and realized that I am neither a dancer nor a worshiper of unpredictable, inflated gods. I can make music and I can write, that I can do. So I've decided to stick to short-stories, plays and puppet shows... and the piano...

What song would you like me to play for you on this lovely Sunday morning?


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Remind me never to make you mad...


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Wow, since I just bailed you out... for now, I would suggest... "Enough is Enough" by the lovely Donna Summer.

Are you in the mood to work up "He Had it Coming...?" (that awesome little ditty from the movie Chicago...) My hair goes back and forth so much I don't mind being Renee Z or Catherine Z-J...

Just some thoughts and no way on the pink brassiere (that is so "yesterday"), mar.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

A.A. Zavala - lol! Let me assure you, in the shoes of a woman who face physical abuse, I might be able to kill, but in the shoes of a woman who is loved, I am able to please and spoil a man out of his own skin. Really. Trust me; I never lie :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

marcoujor – ‘Enough is enough’ by the indeed lovely Donna Summer is now neatly inserted in this hub. Now if that is not enough to encourage abused and unhappy women to liberate themselves, I will have no choice but to transfer my empathy and sympathy to maltreated children and animals. I am always in the mood to work up things with you.... you can make your hair goes back and forth, I will make mine goes from left to right over my face – what a perfect duet; we will receive a great applause.

Thanks for coming over, Maria... Let’s go for coffee at Emeralds Café :)))


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Martie I can't praise this short story enough. The plot, ambiance, and finale are simply top notch. I felt like a fly on the wall the whole way through and became curiouser and curiouser as the story unwound. The climax came as a surprise as well. And what a wonderful treat incorporating our fave epigram creator into the story. Dankie X two Martie.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Damn Girl,

Mr Sossage came running into the room to see if I was OK. I am loving the duet that you are doing with me (now that I have changed into Tina!) We sound AMAZING!

This takes your story outta the park!

I am heading over to the Cafe for some decaff immediately, mar!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning – A hot pot of coffee delivered.

Today we live in an age of digital publishing. You have direct access to the marketplace. I am not here of any success stories. But it is much easier to put your work in front of an audience. If your three children’s novels were not published, you can publish them yourself. It would take some of your valuable time.

For the next novel you have already produced an outline. You didn’t hold back. And I bet it felt great. Just days after publishing you are waking to a smile each morning.

There have been many successful praying-mantis movies produced. ‘Body Heat’ comes to mind.

You are a writer; you make music and have remarkable courage.

As for Flames-of-Rejection, that just proves how dumb some editors are.

Enjoy you Sunday


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Alastar Packer – I can’t tell you how much your comment means to me – it is so-so inspiring, and irresistible to explore when I add it to mckbirds’s comment, and kind of an ‘order-from-above’ to pull up my sleeves and tackle writing again as a profession when I review all comments in here. Really, you guys are breaking my resistance to work. Alastar, I treasure your comment! Thanks a lot.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

How wonderful to see your enthusiasm for writing getting reignited in front of our eyes, and rightfully so! You can see from the length and specificity of all the comments that this story grips readers from title to end. You go girl! Strike while the iron is hot.

P.S. Loved your "come-back" to A.A.'s comment. Positively sizzling!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

marcoujor – oh my, I keep on seeing us on a stage, doing the Duet ut Hairs. I even consider finding a Adele-song with a usable rhythm - rock or what? And you know we can take turns – first you back and forth and I left to right, then you left to right and I back and forth, then both of us the same move.... Man, this will be a duet ut hairs per excellence. I wonder if the beat of Tina’s ‘Simply the Best’ will give us the rhythm we need? And you know, this act may even cure my cronic fribositis... wow! Then I will save all the money I spend on physio-therapy..... and I can save them for a magnificent holiday...

Anyway, I am on my way to Emmeralds to hit mck with another bright idea on the couch. No-no-no, don’t you think monkey, this is really a bright idea I have.... >>>>>> rushing to the café >>>>>>>


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

mckbirdbks – (let me just swallow my giggles..... lol!)

I’m giving you a large tip for excellent delivery services rendered. Emeralds will certainly never lose me as a client.

You are seriously breaking my resistance to WORK. I can easily translate my 3 manuscripts to English. The themes and backgrounds are interesting and still relevant. But keeping in mind that I do have an obsessive-compulsive personality (not really disorder, but still, when I start a project, I don’t sleep/rest until the end of it, and this is why I’ve decided - in the beginning of this year, which was the beginning of the current phase of my life) to never take up any large projects again. BUT, if I take it slowly, only one day per week, I may probably enjoy it. Let the idea grow in me. Thank you for your much appreciated encouragement, Mike.

Re this story.... it could be fun developing it into a novel. I could find more Epi’s, make each chapter a story/episode on its own, but within the storyline of the novel, and just take it slowly..... no deadlines and why not use the praying-mantis theme – I mean I have all the reasons in the world to chew off the heads of men as far as I go.... mmmm and there is a nearby graveyard and a loyal caretaker.... Well, excitement is now tickling me all over... Let me take a deep breath and relax, before I dive head first into this pile of work...

Thanks Mike, you are adding extra wings to my imagination. I can’t see you, but only two mockingbirds, and it is so-so weird feeling your power of persuasion and encouragement entering my mind to shift it in a direction I deliberately ignore. Gosh, I can write a hub about this. I’m now practicing the Duett ut Hairs just to get your hand off my brains.

C U in the café >>>>> I’ve got an idea for you as well >>>>>

(Sunday 8:00pm – SA)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I am taking you OFF caffine immediately.

Are any of the works in digital format? Maybe a Google translator could do the tough first translation. Of course I don't know what I am talking about.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Happyboomernurse – Is it not amazing how we get inspired in here by writers with insight and vision beyond comprehension. So many ideas are now growing in me... I guess the time has come for me to stop playing and focus on a specific goal in the world of writers. Though I’m still tired... still in the recovering phase of Burnout.

Re my comment to Augustine.... Oh, I must change his perception of me - after all the gruesome stories I have written to please my revengeful character – woman punishing, torturing, killing men – he must think I should be a patient in a mental institution. I will surely cry my eyes out if he decides to stay out of my corner... as I will do when I lose any of my dear friends. Some of them are just more precious to me than others. You too, Happyboomer, had penned yourself a neat claim in my heart. Enjoy the rest of your day.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

mckbirdbks – what? OFF caffeine? Me? I can’t see myself living without caffeine in my blood. No-no, take me off anything else but coffee....

Yes, the works is all on my hard disk. But Google translator will not do. Go have a look what happens to my beautiful language when you try to translate it to English with GT.

http://hubpages.com/literature/Google-Translate-It...

Thanks for the smiles you are given mar and me in the café. We enjoy you company in there too much. Between you and me, I think mar is dragging you to the pulpit. Beware, once in her web, you’ll never get out of it again. Just look at Mr. Sausage – 26 years captured in there. And he doesn’t even have a desire to free himself. Just saying.... don’t tell her I’ve warned you.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

.....well I am so happy for you dear Martie with your success here and all of those accolades ..... I've just come back to take another look at that handsome dude in the picture and of course the pretty lady who can write like there's no tomorrow, but, lol, there better be, because Martie you're so magnificent and I need you 7 days a week.

lake erie time 5:37pm


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Epi, 12:50am Monday down here, and I am now going to hit the bed, smiling. Figure, 7 days per week.... I think I should go and have another look at that handsome dude in the picture...

:)))


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Martie. When I type in Amazon.com and scroll all the way to the bottom of their home page in tiny letters in says Amazon United Kingdom. (The closest to you.) Since this is a digital world and your book(s) would be delivered digitally - you could prepare and upload to Amazon United Kingdom in the language that you have produced them. Your prepared description would explain to the English speakers that the text is in Afrikaans. (If that’s not right don’t reach for the pistola.) Low cost of entry, text is done, and you can test the waters.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Mckb - thanks for telling me. Mmm, I will test it with a short story first. Though knowing myself... In certain aspects I am only 3 years old with the 'I-do-it-myself-attitude',. Add this to my everything-must-be-just-perfect-attitude... Figure? But yes, I'm going to explore this... after the contest. I still have some entries to prepare and submit.. Enjoy your Monday.

(SA-7:21am Monday)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Yes, absolutely, win all the contest first. You are onto me, trying to give you misdirection. :) Seems like you just said good night and it is Monday morning (for you)


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

What a picture - fantastic! it compliments the story perfectly...

and the woman is a bit of a babe as well!

Martie this story is an absolute thriller, I was completely engrossed from the first to the last word.

Brilliant, voting up!


wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 5 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

Hi, MartieCoetser! I voted this story 'up.' I couldn't find the button that said 'chilling' as well. You know, during that scene where Christina took a bath and we 'saw' her bruises, I hadn't put it together yet.... For some strange reson I thought she was a professional stuntwoman, and that her masochism involved her chosen line of work....

Then when I fully had my bearings and understood things, I thought Christina might have simply poisoned her psychopathic husband, Wilbur; but he might have noticed something if his food or wine tasted funny or something like that.

No, shoot him and make sure he's dead. I suppose Christina thought it was the least she could do for poor Marjory.

Anyway... Good Job!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

mckbirdbks – I appreciate your comments too much. Yes, it becomes complicated when I say goodnight to you while it is actually good morning to me. What is our time-difference? 7-8 hours? I am on GT+2. Now Tuesday 7:40pm down here. I will definitely press your buttons when I’m ready for the project. (Perhaps after Christmas?)


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MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

wingedcentaur – I love your feedback. It tells me that I’ve managed to hold your interest and stimulate your own imagination AND surprise you. So I am happy – the time I’ve spent to write this story was well spent. As I’ve said, only one happy and contented reader makes writing for a writer worthwhile. It is all about sharing. Humans just need to share their thoughts and talents with each other. I’m looking forward to a visit in your corner.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Movie Master – I love searching for suitable pictures, though sometimes I just can’t find a perfect match. Now this one was like discovering a diamond in freedigitalphotos.net. Perfect! It is honestly good to know you were completely engrossed from the first to the last word. It is always my hope to achieve. I’ll see you soon in your corner.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Just when I think every stories been told, leave it to you, Martie, to blow that theory to hell. You are a master storyteller. Every word held me spellbound. For a little while, I was worried the beautiful heroine, Christine, had a suicide plan.

This mesmerizing tale could translate into a great screenplay. You have a huge talent, my friend. Brilliantly conceived and masterfully written. I will read this one again!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Amy, my dearest friend. Thanks so much for your kind and truly inspiring comment. I was hoping that the reader will suspect suicide; I wanted the end to be a surprise.... so I am thrilled to know my effort of keeping the reader curious and captivated was successful. I hope your are fine. Remember I am always ready for a cup of coffee with you in my inbox.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

......this must be the longest hub screen of all time - Martie my dear - we are such a great team you and I - lol lol - love your new profile picture - that is one lucky camera - must be saying - please take me again!!!!!! lake erie time 7:55am off to bed now


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Epi, were we not a great team in this one? And to think this baby of us already has another baby, so we are actually grandparents now.

http://makusr.hubpages.com/hub/You-Live-Only-Once

Yes, Epi, it is time again to take one from you again and to create a brand new story with it. I am hopping over to your corner to have a look at your stock. So virile you are with more than 1000 in your arsenal.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Stopped by here to leave a comment after reading Makusr's You Live Only Once poem. Am glad to see you're headed to Epi's poems for inspiration for a brand new story. Very cool.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Happy, Epi's epigrams will surely give wings to any writer's imagination. Test them and see :)) Thanks for coming by. It is good to know that Makusr's story encourages readers to read mine as well.


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Martie,

I'm so relieved you weren't writing from personal experience, lol!

This was superb! I tried to drum up a bit of compassion for Wilbur, but alas, the well was dry.

This was an excellent story, and I'm happy the heroine finally found her grit!

femme


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

femme, thanks so much for your inspiring comment. I've never known physical abuse - only emotional, and I often wonder how would I have coped in the shoes of a beaten woman. My husband hit me once and I've hit him back with the thought: Even if this is my last act on earth, I will hit him back as hard as I can.

In the beginning with the emotional abuse I had also returned his insults, until I've realized it was like playing with him in water filled with sewerage. Then I started to pretend I did not hear/feel his insults. When I left him 20 years later, he claimed that he had never realized I was unhappy.


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Martie,

Abuse becomes such an awful cycle, either in dishing it out, or taking it.

And, I think for many, they always believe it will change, or they can do something to change it, at least that was my mindset, for a time.

In coming out of it, I'm less tolerant of others with nasty attitudes, but I'm more appreciative of the good things in life, regardless of how small or simple.

I never want to be in a negative relationship with anyone again. But, for so many I've met that are still in them, they feel hopeless and trapped and seem to have no ability to change their mindset.

I get equally as frustrated with those who think and feel that way. When they no longer love themselves enough to want a better existence, there is little that can be done to help them.

I think even if they were presented a brand new, squeaky clean relationship with someone who is good to them, they would somehow intentionally foul it up, and ruin it.

It's amazing in both good ways and bad ways how our minds can be affected by situations such as this. However, it's also amazing how they can heal up and be stronger, when the healing is allowed to happen.

Hub hugs girlfriend.

It's an honor to know you and I'm very happy you got out. Emotional abuse leaves marks just as damaging. They just don't have to be cosmetised to be hidden.

femme


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Femme, I am a firm believer in 'make the best of what you have.' If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Looking back I know this was the reason why I grew stronger and not weaker. I am glad to know that you, too, came out of it. Appreciating the good things in life after one has seen and experienced the bad speaks for itself. Thanks for the pleasant comment.


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

WOW Martie, you're a brilliant writer!! You truly knows how to spellbind your reader from the very start to the very end. I hung on to every word, just wanting more and more. That I call a rare natural endowment!

The story is an absolute cliff hanger with plenty of suspense and anticipation. Your wonderful enthusiasm in your writing shows so very clear. I'm so grateful that Epi inspired you to write this story.

You and Epi complement each other in such a beautiful and treasured way, that only beauty, charisma and fascination can be born from your friendship. I'm sure Epi is very proud. Thank you both! Hugs to you!:)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Oh, SanneL, what a lovely personality you reveal in CyberSpace. Thank you so much for this highly inspiring comment. Epi's epigrams is truly a rich source of ideas for short stories and poems; I consider myself extremely fortunate to enjoy the privilege to read his work and, on top of it all, to have him as one of my best friends in CyberSpace. Surely, if I had the opportunity to live near him, I would have spoiled him rotten with all the love in my heart. Believe me, I have enough love to spoil ten of his kind.

Take care, my dear friend. Here's to many more interactions in CyberSpace. I hope to support you as much as you support me.


LABrashear profile image

LABrashear 4 years ago from My Perfect Place, USA

Wow Martie...so good! You are quite a storyteller! I am so glad she didn't give in...and I loved this piece by Epi! Voted up and shared!


services4all profile image

services4all 4 years ago from U.S.

Interesting story and in between the poem which you have used is fanastic. Good job keep on posting...


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

Hi Martie... what an excellent read this has been... you are an excellent writer and has shown your talents in true form... well done and glad I found you.

Hugs from Canada


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Martie wow what can I say this hub and tribute to Epi. is so awesome..You really amaze me my dear. No wonder Colin thinks so highly of you. I really love your story.. She got her man in the end!1 LOl.. he wont hurt her again.

Blessing to you

voted way up and up

Debbie


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...Hello dear Martie - try to find my way here a few hours ago now and the HUB was down .....so here I am again at lake erie time 3:02pm to pay fond and sincere tribute to you and your marvelous style of creative short story writing - yes I remember this evocative piece from the first time around and I was honored, naturally, to be thought of as an inspiration for your magnificent writing ...... well I guess it's that old story - it takes one to know one - thanks Martie for coming into my life and making it a better place to be - lake erie time 3:09pm


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

LABrashear ~ Thank you so much, Laura! I think it is high time to go find myself another idea for a story in Epi's corner. It seems to me it is also time to write shorter short stories, as more and more readers prefer them in this hectic modern world we are living in today. Take care, I will soon be over for a read in your corner :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Thank you, services4all, for your much appreciated comment :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Nice to meet you, Rolly A Chabot. I appreciate your comment sincerely and look forward to read your writings as well :) Hugs back to you from South Africa :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Thank you, Deborah. Fortunately I don't know what it is like to be physically abused, though I can imagine what it must be like and my heart goes out to women who have to cope with it. However, I do believe masochism encourages sadism... so rather feed a sadist his own medicine... preferably in overdose... :))


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

My dear epigramman, you, too, are an asset in my life, making this world a better place to be in. You are a fantastic friend and colleague, one of the most beautiful souls I know and such an inspiration for me. I enjoy interactions with you since the day I first met you, and I hope we will be friends for many more years to come. Take care, and thanks again for all the fun you initiate and maintain on your music page :) Tons of hugs for you from me here at the bottom of the world :))


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, Martie, what a powerful story, absolutely brilliant, and yes I can relate, only through a certain friend of mine who had to put up with this too, I remember the bruises and how I felt at the time, wonderful, and epi's poem was awesome too, nell


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

South African Ambassador, You promised and delivered and you blew me away! I'm very impressed. You pour out your heart when you share. Simply awesome, just like you!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi my dear friend, Nell! You know your opinion means a lot to me. Thank you so much :))


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Sunshine, and you always blow me away with your lovely comments. I am taking this one to bed with me, and I'll see you in a couple of hours at your hub, 101 Reasons to be Happy.

http://hubpages.com/health/101-Reasons-To-Be-Happy...


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

So Sorry Martie I am late for the party, celebrating your novel..Yes? Did I hear Yes? Oh yes I thought so! haha

Such a great story, and you are the writer. Including Epi's poems was brilliant. You are one talented writer now lets get this one to the press one day soon! A masterpiece for sure!

Love and hugs,

Sunnie


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This was a totally chilling declaration of women's freedom. No more abuse for us. Very well told and I am so glad that you resisted the urge to edit. You had no spare words with this at all. You needed every one of them to tell the story.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

This is a powerful story Martie. I love the poems and shuddered at the violence, yet longed for the tenderness of her heart. You did a great job with this one. And thatphoto of Epi/Colin is SO handsome!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Sunnie, yes, one day I will write that novel. I have quite a few in my head, but not the needed time to get them out. The anthology short stories only needs to be compiled, but I just don't feel like tackling all the To-Do's involved.

Thank you so much for encouraging me :)


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MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Thank you, Becky! I appreciate your comment with all my heart :))


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi my dear Hyphenbird, unfortunately on specific days we have to suppress all tenderness in the heart. Some things just have to be done in a heartless manner. Not that I want to promote this manner... still, when I hear about the suffering of some women, I feel like encouraging them to kill the barbaric in their lives with their bare hands.

However, it is easy for me to speak and to write stories. I myself will not be able to kill another person, and least of all a man who has managed to claim a piece of my heart. I will follow legal procedures. But even this is way too easy to say, because we know that following legal procedures is in most of the cases impossible due to intimidation and reasons of all sorts. So I guess a woman tolerates abuse until the day she simply snap into a state of insanity.

Thank you for you visit and comment, Hyphen. I always appreciate yours. Oh, and yes, that is my favorite photo of Epi.


Vickiw 3 years ago

Hi Martie, this is when I realize I am still a newbie on the scene! Lots of story, lots of comments, and some people I had not heard of. Very chilling and dramatic story , and the message from you is 'don't mess with me!' Love it! And one of my favourite people, the Epigramman inspired this? He is a disturbing influence, that's for sure.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Vicki, I enjoyed writing this story. Epi's corner is an inspiration for any writer of fiction. I wish I had time to write fiction.... more fiction.... only fiction.... :) BTW, Newbies like YOU are family :) Like a sibling....


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Martie.....Our South African Princess!....W...O...W !! I had to wait for my heart to calm itself....and breathe deep. I was completely lost within your marvelous tale, trying to think ahead, but not wanting to miss a single moment or word!

In your brilliance, you have left this reader with a hundred thoughts and a thousand questions....but with silent applause for Christine and the empathy of a kindred spirit. Trust this....I'd have pulled the trigger for her!

Genius work, Martie.......Amazing.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa Author

Dearest fpher - so sorry you had to wait 16 hours for my reply. Too many things keep me too busy offline missing my online friends! I wish I had more time to write fiction, as I truly enjoy doing it. Your comment is such an inspiration! Thank you so much :)


Robert Sacchi profile image

Robert Sacchi 3 months ago

An excellent story. Great character development.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 months ago from South Africa Author

Thank you, Robert!


Robert Sacchi profile image

Robert Sacchi 3 months ago

You're welcome.

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