Depression’s Dance

Thank you Chris Blakeley on Flickr for the use of your photo. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/csb13/)
Thank you Chris Blakeley on Flickr for the use of your photo. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/csb13/)


you wait

with the patience of the dead

in between smiles to slip

hollow eyes behind a window pane

blankly staring you anticipate

pain’s window

the briefest ache of heart

or ebb of hopefulness

even in a mind’s brief stillness

you find your cues, your keys

a soul once locked securely in happiness

falls open, becomes a ballroom

to your dark dance

painting despair as you glide

splattering your poison as you twirl

droning, groaning to depression’s waltz

like some twisted ballerina

you sink slowly to the floor

yards of acrid crinoline surround you

spun of tears

your skirts spread and grow

until a veil of black covers all

and I am left rocking solo

to the beat of silence

imprisoned behind apathetic glazing

slumped, hollow eyes staring through

the pain


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Comments 47 comments

Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

Without an opponent, every game is boring. Nice work, Randy. Nice choice of picture, too. :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Jess, you are quick on the draw. I had help with the pic. I know this guy that knows his way around flickr.


Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

It's great to have excellent help, no question :)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I really like the rhythm of this poem, Randy. The personification of depression is palpable here. Great imagery all around and dark. Oh is it dark!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Dohn! Thanks for "feeling" it. Sometimes I can be dark, not always miss susie sunshine. I can slop black slime with the best of em... lol.


trooper22 profile image

trooper22 6 years ago from Chicago

"until a veil of black covers all

and I am left rocking solo

to the beat of silence"

Heart rending and perfect within the imagery of pain. Something we do to ourselves and would not wish on our worst enemies. Another outstanding work!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Very nice Randy- "a soul once locked securely in happiness

falls open, becomes a ballroom to your dark dance". Very nice- thanks.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Greetings Trooper. Thanks for the lovely comment. Yes, we do it to ourselves, and I think its up to us to get ourselves out as well.

Morning Micky Dee. I'm glad you liked this one. Thanks for commenting.


Am I dead, yet? 6 years ago

I read your work last night and I had to think deeply about my response. It would seem that your words captured that deep solace--that intimacy that depression and its sufferer experiences. It is indeed a dance--a dance without a lead. You poem mentioned those times where there are those sheltered happiness's that seem to fade in that despair. Like a trance.

Beautiful Randy. I never would have imagined depression in a dance--an aura of intimacy that only the individual and their thoughts experiences.

-hugs- for my dearest Randy.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Morning AIDY. I'm honored you would take such time with your response. I doubt my interpretation of depression will ring true with all who read it. I'd love to think there are those reader's who have no idea at all. But for some, it will strike a chord. And they also work to keep the dancer at bay.

Always love your comments Sandy, thank you.


Justine76 6 years ago

heh....if someone didnt “get” this, they most likely arent even here, to read. I loved this...the patience of the dead....perfect. :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Justine. I'm so glad you "loved" it. Its interesting to me the different lines that different people highlighted. Thanks for commenting. :)


philip carey 61 6 years ago

The place where these thoughts are coming from within you is what I want to know more of. What would a person look like from the inside of their thoughts, so to speak? Beautiful writing.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

I guess that's exactly what my poetry is Philip, a peek into my insides. Thanks for the comment.


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

It seems when we do are not thrusting with love and lust, we simply parry with depression. A sort of sitting on the fencing, and gazing at all th others engaged. I loved this and have been sorely absent from your randy behavior for a while, but I can still delight in it's tang.~~~MFB III


Annie4 6 years ago

Beautiful! My favorite line - "A soul once locked securely in happiness falls open, becomes a ballroom to your dark dance." Man, is that wonderful. Great work.


ralwus 6 years ago

'In between smiles', yep I was there for a day or two, but I won't do the dance of depression. I need to visit you more often, you are so good at your craft. kudos Randy, a nice peek at your heart.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi MFB :) Yes love and lust are the ultimate distractions on even the worst day. But even the healthiest of us can't keep it up 24/7.

Nice to meet you Annie! I just discovered your work minutes ago. I like your sarcastic wit.

Hey Charlie! I'm glad you are feeling better. I had no doubts myself... tough old bird that you are. :)


Seldon55 profile image

Seldon55 6 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

Anger turned outward is aggression, Anger turned inward is depression. Of course to have either, you have to have passion...And you do.....Eddie


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

And at the root of anger, fear. Thanks for the comment.


Jeff May profile image

Jeff May 6 years ago from St. Louis

Clicked back to you randomly and found this nice surprise, thanks.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Always a pleasure :)


ralwus 6 years ago

darkly blaring staringly wonderful stuff. i can see the twisted poisoned ballerina like the siren's call, beckoning me. but i am a good boy now, and reject her, begrudgingly.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Never give into the dark dancer CC. Love and light to you always.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

and I am left rocking solo

to the beat of silence

imprisoned behind apathetic glazing

slumped, hollow eyes staring through

the pain

that's really awesomely worded...

rocking solo to the beat of silence is NOT FUN!! :[


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

No, but knowing you're not the only one who does that helps. Love and Light Ben.


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

" what other dungeon is so dark as ones own heart, what jailer so inexorable as ones own self?" This is a wonderful piece of writing Randy. probably much better than you think!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for reading Arb. All of our perceptions of the world are in our own minds (or hearts) for good or bad. Its scary when the fear takes control though.

Tell me what makes it good so I can do more of that.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

I really am impressed at the constant (yet controlled) shifting within the poem; from the pane that lets in and pain that displays; the sudden shift, at the end from the Second Person (most probably Singular) to First Person Singular; an expression of, "You are suffering, but I also suffer" in the limelight, under the scrutiny. Obvious to the "audience" but behind the glass; the pain; the pane. Absolute isolation.

When I am in awe, I say, "I wish I had written that". When I am arrogant, I say, "That's like something I could have written".

I am both of those people, having read that.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks TL for another lovely comment. It really does help me to be told what I'm doing right, as well as what is not working, when my ego is up to it of course. :)


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

I'm not sure if I know what depression feels like, but I'm willing to bet this sums it up in a poetic fashion. Sad but also beautifully written. You really savor the words that come out of you, and we, as the readers, definitely benefit from your love of the craft. Awesome.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Yeah I'm definitely a lexiphile! I'm sure depression is different for different people; this is it for me though.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

I have been there, I certainly remember the dark times, but never to return to them.

Well said!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Ahhh lucky you, them come looking for me sometimes. Thanks Cardisa.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago

I have often wondered how best to describe depression, I believe from experience .....you did it! Awesome.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Yes from experience, but I always rebound. I'm stubborn that way :) Thank you for the compliment ahorseback.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 5 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

Beautifully written poem about a terrible state to be in.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for popping by Majadex.


Claudia Schönfeld 5 years ago

you capture the so difficult to grasp nature of depression really well randy...a soul..falls open, becomes a ballroom to the dark dance..the twisted ballerina...great line


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Claudia. I'm glad you appreciate this one.


Scarface1300 profile image

Scarface1300 5 years ago

Wonderfully written piece about a not very wonderfull problem rated Up and awesome.Ill be Back


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

Randy,

You said this beautifully with the words you chose. I danced this dance yesterday. Thanks for sharing!

bella


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for coming by for a read Scarface. Nice to meet you.

Thank you Bella, but I'm sorry to hear that. I don't wish this dance on anyone.


Jspot profile image

Jspot 4 years ago from Flames of water and love

I love the way the sorrow within becomes the very beauty in your soul. Lovely thoughts becoming feelings of sadness and love. Up and very beautiful.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you Johnny.


Ryan McGill profile image

Ryan McGill 4 years ago from Omaha, NE

A grand visualization of the hurt too many of us have experienced. The cure lies within; the release in subliminity. Cheers.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

My alter ego would agree the cure does lie within, but me, I find a glass of wine under a full moon naked in the rain helps too.

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