I've a feeling like something is wrong

I'm missing you more than ever today.

I've this urge to pick up my phone & call you

But I don't know just what to say!

I'm afraid to talk to you-I can't let you know

You are on my mind right now.

I'm afraid of my heart that still wants you...

It needs you here somehow.

The sound of your voice brings out the memories,

Memories that are best left untouched.

I am desperate to know if you are alright

This hold of you I cannot unclutch .

This feeling of uncertainty is driving me insane

It Is making me lose control.

The pain I felt long ago

Is hurting me ten times more.

I sit here trying to understand

Whats the right thing to do?

After all the things you've done to hurt me

How can my heart still be worried about you?

After all the fighting & wrestling with myself

I realize-my love for you is unconditional & boundless.

I know i'll continue to love & care for you

Even if you kill me, even if you leave me lifeless.

But no, I cannot call you-

From the temptations of your voice I must refrain.

I close my eyes & pray to the Lord to protect you

From all the problems, sadness and the pain..

© Copyright Hajira Ehsan

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Comments 11 comments

Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 6 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

How very, very sad. It really clutches my heart when I read your poems, my friend.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Yo Cracknutcase! Call me! Great write my dear! Beautiful!

Cracknutcase profile image

Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore Author

Twilight- Thanks alot for always supporting me through reading my poems n commenting.. It gives me the strength, I so badly need..

A heart which is broken needs mending & a story which has occured needs telling :)


Cracknutcase profile image

Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore Author

Micky-- I wish i could call you but someone hit me pretty hard on my head which resulted in severe memory loss condition and Alas I lost ur number! ;)

Thanks for reading this ;))))

A hugeeeeee hug

sheem 6 years ago

haj...very heart rendering....and intense...


Cracknutcase profile image

Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore Author

Thank you Sheem ;) Glad you liked it..

Take care ;)))

Plarson profile image

Plarson 6 years ago from Alabama

Very beautifully written. I am sure just about everyone has stood looking at a phone wanting to call a past love and ask them "why"? I admire your strength to let your readers into your heart and inner workings. -Paul

Cracknutcase profile image

Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore Author

@Plarson - You are so right Plarson.. Sometimes after a break up we move on with our day to day life's pretending and convincing ourselves that we don't care and that we are alright. But in reality, the love and care we felt for him/her still remains. A simple thing is enough to make us realise the extent of care we feel for the other person.

Thanks for reading and commenting...!

Have a great day :)))))

chai 6 years ago

baby ya me into tears. Meet me real soon. We gotta talk...lovya

Cracknutcase profile image

Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore Author

Chai u r the last person I would wanna see in tears, so please stop them.. They r real precious ;)

profile image

IntegrityYes 4 years ago

I definitely voted up. That is so moving and awesome. Rock out now! HAH-HAH!

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