Dixie-Land In Mary-Land

About the Author

This is a short remembrance written by my grandfather Michael D. Martin of Eden, NC. These stories pertain mostly to our family and his time serving in the Eden City Police Dept. Michael Martin was born Oct. 6th 1943 and passed away Oct. 1st 2010. They are transcribed as he wrote them to keep his writing style alive in the stories. Some are historical and some are just for the humor. If you find these stories enjoyable and would like to read more there is a link at the bottom to more of his stories.

Dixie-Land In Mary-Land

Many long years ago John Chilton and I worked for the Eden City Police Department and we were working a case of a young Eden man who loved to expose himself to unsuspecting women in public places. Lately he had held a showing in the local K-Mart and surprised some shoppers with his displays and we obtained a warrant for him for indecent exposure. Problem was, we could not find him. A few weeks later we were notified that the officers in Annapolis Maryland had arrested him after he held a not so private showing in a Maryland department store. A judge who was not interested in art nor amused at his antics, sentenced him to several months in a Maryland jail.

We were notified a few days before his release and John Chilton and I ventured north to reclaim our famous boy. We arrived in Annapolis and drove thru a beautiful city and took in the sights of cobblestone streets and quaint little shops on the waterfront... so this is the way yankee's live!!

We tried to get to the Holiday Inn but after two tries, we decided you couldn't get there from where we were and we settled for the Economy Inn across the street. We unloaded our bags and broke out a fifth of Wild Turkey to celebrate our arrival in Yankeeland (notwithstanding the fact the First Maryland volunteers fought for the south) we oiled up a little and decided to live like kings by going to the Red Lobster which was in sight, and walking distance, which was now necessary.

We went into the restaurant and were seated, the first thing that we noticed was that we must be in a truly cosmopolitan place as the restaurant was full of folks who looked like foreigners, there was a table of what seemed to be Indians or Pakistani's and a table of Asians and another table of folks who looked like us but spoke in a hushed tone in a foreign voice. Our waitress was a bona-fide yankee girl who came and took our order and said "youse guys are from the deep south, aincha!!"

I replied, "Yes mam, (putting it on a little bit) I war born in Old Virginia, but by accident of commerce, I live in Nowth Kaaa=lina." Well we joked a little and when she brought our order she said, "I placed something special for you southern boys to enjoy with your meal."

In a few seconds, over the music system I heard the unmistakable strains of "DixieLand" being played slow and sweetly. Well, after a sip or two of good southern bourbon, I had to stand and place my hand over my heart as they played the real national anthem (of the south) and John looked at me and took the hint and he stood up and placed his hand over his heart and motioned at the Pakistanis and they all jumped up and one of them scowled at the Asians, who jumped up, followed by the Germans... other true southerners stood and in less than a minute, every single patron of the Red Lobster Restaurant in Annapolis, Maryland was standing with his hand over his heart as DixieLand played slow and sweet...

After the music died, our waitress came to the table and said "If I don't get fired over this, I ain't messing with youse guys any more"... It was all John Chilton's fault.

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