Double Sonnet for My Unrequited Love

Erato - Muse of Love Poetry
Erato - Muse of Love Poetry

If I were but a braver man, I’d take

The sharpest steel I have, that is my pen;

And pierce my flesh, my wrist, my trembling hand;

Taking the crimson drops which flow, and then

Mingle with those: crystal drops, my thousand tears.

And lastly, in my recipe, I’d devise

For strength, the soot black smear of ink,

Unrivalled only by the sable round your eyes;

Those lashes that surround those lustrous orbs.

And so combined, the blood, the tears, the ink

With which to write my heartfelt faltering words

I’d take a page, and write there all I think,

My fears, my yearnings, my desires.

Those goals to which my heavy heart aspires.

 

And so, with words obliquely drawn

For I have written, or I plan to show

A little of the fire that burns within

My heart; and let, my dearest friend, you, know

That I accept what here I write:

A haiku concealed, concerned with dates.

I’d write: The mathematics of despair

I was born too early... You too late.

And you, whilst reading those sad lines,

Those words would spring from off the page

And enter through your eyes and pierce your mind,

And touch your heart, your soul, and at that stage

Perhaps induce one drop of love, to soothe my affliction

I am your addict… You, my addiction.

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Comments 26 comments

KKalmes profile image

KKalmes 5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

Ian, I grovel at your feet that I might feed off the remnants of the words you choose not to use for those included here are beautiest and leave nothing for the rest!

Like Shakespeare I have chosen to make up my own words when those available to me are not of my liking.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Kevin, this person over the Pond blushes in embarrassment and gratitude to hear words as those from a wordsmith as are you. I must show you a poem i wrote that is so lush that... I shall post it when I can come down from the ceiling. I can't reach the computer from where I am and I am presently dictating my reply to you to the dog.

Thanks again... so much.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

I'm going to have to comment, that I was here, but I'm going to have to reread this a few more times to get it all.. you are amazing, no doubt about it!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

You really do me honour, Candie, when you say things like that. So many would skim over and think they have done what is required of them. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, that your positive attitudes and that of one or two others (who definitel know who they are)has made me realise that I must try much harder, so that what I produce is worthy of those of you who give their precious time to read it.

My God, Greg was lucky!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis

This is one of my favorites, no doubt, and that's saying a lot. Such beauty issues from your pen (okay...your fingertips, but you know what I mean.) I wish I could put my thoughts so lovingly, so carefully, so perfectly onto the page!


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago

I'd have to disagree with your comment to Candie. I don't believe you can try any harder than this my friend. You've put your all into this, it truly shows. The pain you feel is evident in every line. Your talent makes me jealous, your pain makes me sad for you. Perhaps I'm not supposed to say that out loud, but I find it hard to be less than honest with you. Beautiful, poignant, filled with longing.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Angie, thank you for those wonderful words. I have always had difficulty sharing my poetry with others, because I sometimes am very defensive of what I have written. But I am now beginning to loosen up and this evening I'm going to post a poem which one of my oldest friends thought would be acceptable. It's long; it's florid; I loved writing it.


LaurieDawn profile image

LaurieDawn 5 years ago

Talk about poetry at it's finest! The heart-wrenching prose of love, you have captured it in all the beauty, all the pain. You are a wordsmith in the finest array of all, words that speak volumes. Beautiful, hauntingly beautiful.

Blessings,

Laurie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

LaurieDawn, thank you for those wonderful words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Well I had to read this several times to really appreciate your words fully. Clearly this is written straight from your heart, it shows the depth of your emotion. Stunningly beautiful. Pressing all your tabs.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Acaetnna, I thank you so much. With lovely words like that to throw at my head, I am flattered, embarrassed, delighted. You are always welcome. Thank you again.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Mark. I appreciate your comment. Less, as they say, is more.


KKalmes profile image

KKalmes 5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

You must be down off the ceiling by now, so I will share that I laughed at your response and the dog did a marvelous job at conveying your dictation... we are lucky to have found each other in this maze of hearty and prolific writers.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

You are right. There are a lot of them out there (or in here) and we only see the tip of the iceberg. It's a shame that some of the water in this iceberg is composed of muddy water. I thought icebergs were supposed to be... Ah! But that's a Geography lesson (or is it Physics?).


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

"I was born too early... You too late.

And you, whilst reading those sad lines,

Those words would spring from off the page

And enter through your eyes and pierce your mind,

And touch your heart, your soul, and at that stage

Perhaps induce one drop of love, to soothe my affliction

I am your addict… You, my addiction".

Dear Ian,

Those words touched me. Crossing paths but unable to fulfill the desires within. Will write from the heart,in hopes this person will reach out in return and offer some hope of love.

Just beautiful..no words.

Sunnie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hello Sunnie. I thought you had been through all my drawers and even in the box up in the attic. But still you find stuff. Thank you for searching.

You will have no idea how much trouble I am having right now to publish a hub that I wrote a few weeks ago. It was the end of a comment I wrote to a friend, and I thought, "Dat's nise. I fink dat wil make a nise hub and I chosed sum nise picshures butt da Hub Pages polees toled me to bugger offf cos I woz copyin sumfink wot woz on HubPagers orlreddy an I juss carnt poot it on".

I hate HubPages cos dey arent fare".

Lots of love,

Ian


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Oh wow..so sorry...I hope it gets straightened out..does it mean anything if I can read the last lines with ease..hahaha


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

It's quite obvious from the above that I really have a talent with the written word.

Ian


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 23 months ago from High desert of Nevada.

Hi Ian. I just came across this powerful poem of yours and am very impressed. I hope you have gone on to write more poetry.

Voted up and sharing.


old albion profile image

old albion 23 months ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Ian. Phyllis has shared this beautiful poem and she was so right to do so thank you Phyllis. An absolute delight so deep and moving. Well done.

voted up and all.

Graham.


jhamann profile image

jhamann 23 months ago from Reno NV

Incredible double sonnet. Well written, congratulations. Jamie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 23 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Phyllis Doyle for finding this, and approving of it. It has been a long time since I read this, and this has given me the opportunity to read it again, and more importantly, to thank you for your very kind words.

I note that you have shared it... thank you so much for that. I don't write much at all right now, but am encouraged to do so after your generous act.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 23 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

old albion, thank you for your comments. I feel very privileged to have had this poem shared by you, Phyllis and jhamann. It is so gratifying to have such generous, kind and appreciative words levelled at my thoughts and attempted scribblings.

As I said to Phyllis, I feel encouraged to try to write some more. Hoping that, if you come across them, you will enjoy them as much as you have said you have enjoyed this.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 23 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

jhamann. I blush at your enthusiastic approvel of this poem. Thank you so much for that, and thank you for giving me the encouragement to scribble a bit more. As I have said to both Phyllis and Graham, who shared this among you, it make me feel humble, proud and grateful to be complimented in this manner.


Marie Flint profile image

Marie Flint 23 months ago from Jacksonville, FL

I love the image of this muse.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 23 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

But the poem's rubbish, right?

Ha Ha.

No offence taken.

Thanks for your visit.

Ian.

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