Dumb Poem Collection - #134 through # 144
Thievery is part of my nature – and that, as the whole thing would go, is very natural. I have been learning a bit about the simple-enough subject of "behavioral ecology," said to be a study of critters and their propensities toward either fight or flight. Being of a mind, myself, to ignore such things as best as possible, I decided to steal the main delineator of that field of study and amend it for use as my title for this collection of Dumb Poems. These are about critters. These critters, however, have suspect ecologies and, of course, suspect behaviors. I hope that all of them become your friends.
# 134 - The Houston toad
A toad from Houston jumped so high
he met his Maker in the sky.
"Well, I declare," his Maker said,
‘you turned out bad. Makes me see red."
"I believe you, Boss," said Houston Toad,
"it’s like you’d had an overload.
My warts, alone, must weigh a pound.
My music’s just a croaking sound.
My knees poke wide above flat feet.
My toes are webbed together neat.
My mouth goes on from ear to ear,
and double eyelids stop each tear."
"That’s your tough luck," Toad’s Maker said,
"I don’t remodel nor retread.
Get back to Houston, your jump-off city.
That’s where I waste my time and pity."
# 135 – The dialectican
The Asiatic bird, named the Pelican,
has a beak that squeaks more than his belly can.
When he’s flying around
over water or ground,
he sing-songs in Chinese-Amelican.
# 136 - Boredom
There once was a monkey that lived in a zoo.
The place was real nice – just ever so new.
The cages had rugs,
and there were no bad bugs.
Without nits, what could poor monkey do?
# 137 - How’s that?
"How fast can sparrows eat a dish
of dog food, corn, or dried-up fish?"
"The way you asked me is unfair.
How many sparrows are there there?"
# 138 - Tale of the dog
Two little fleas upon the hide
are better than one flea crawled inside.
# 139 – Evil weevil
As he chewed on his lunch, Ambassador said,
"There’s a lot more than butter spread onto this bread.
I have a real hunch that it may be a spy.
Yes - a real walking robot. There’s a bug in the rye."
# 140 - Contingency gear
A bluefly is buzzing my head.
You’d think that he wanted me dead.
His stinger’s all sharp,
but he carries a harp,
should he miss – and I get him instead.
#141 – Just another fish in the ocean
A small fish with two tails
swam around with the whales,
showing off with his two
some fine tricks he could do.
He’d speed forward real fast,
then go back with a blast.
To the whales he looked fine.
("On Two-Tail we must dine.")
Getting bolder and bolder,
while still not much older,
playing tricks, Two-Tail scooted
‘twixt teeth --Executed.
# 142 – The bird lover
An alligator in the pond
ate frogs and fish, but was more fond
of any duck
found in the muck
to which his teeth could bond.
#143 – The run-away
Our little fish just wanted to stay
in his bowl where he could play all day,
but cleanup time was right at hand,
and fishie hated new, clean sand.
He left. A big reward we’ll pay.
# 144 – Single-duty bootie
Alligator shoes are funny things.
They sport four toes, but never strings.
‘Gators hate them during towning,
but when in water, prevents 'em drowning.
More by this Author
There is some sort of story behind each of the dumb poems in this collection. The ones on this page are not exceptions. So, below each of them I will provide the tale, at least as best as I can remember it. The...
Numbers 13 through 24 in the first collection of funny little poems - Don't be nosy, Birthdays, The jet age, Paradise lost, The librarian, Elery Johnson, Amphibious advice, A pair in the apple tree, the power of babble,...
Methods and devices used to eavesdrop on people and companies are detailed in this article. How to tell if you are being bugged (eavesdropped upon) and ways to discover the bugging that may be going on. Ways to overcome...