Dumb Poem Collection - # 187 through # 197

Getting ever closer to DP #2

Eleven more little poem things for the pot. Makes me wonder how the big stew of them may taste once the tally reaches the "magic number" as it comes up with the second group of 101 to play sequel to the first 101 in that first eBook.

Without following down that conjectural pathway any farther, here is today’s complement. With my sore fingers from rooting around in the garden, and with my aching head from considering fresh poems, these are all going to be "shorties" – each to be of the limerick sort of persuasion.

Dare you!
Dare you!

 

# 187 – The Landlord

It crunched and munched.
On our food it lunched –
the little mouse
that owned our house –
or so it hunched.

  

Even the fog won't make it curve
Even the fog won't make it curve

# 188 – Obstinacy

There’s a road going straight up the hill.
For miles it runs true. Curves are nil.
Upon reaching the brim,
it’s still straight and quite trim.
Years from now it will be that way still.

Snowing in mid-summer
Snowing in mid-summer

 

# 189 - Enough to flip your mind

Our television flips a bunch.
We turn it on, then go to lunch.
When we get back
it’s still off track.
Did its chips all lose their punch?

  

Much better!
Much better! | Source

 

# 190 – Social pressure

In the Houston Museum of Fine Art
it’s so quiet you wouldn’t dare fart.
You run down the stair
out into fresh air
and relieve both your belly and heart.

  

"I know which one I want"
"I know which one I want" | Source

 

# 191 – Just a flash in the pan

A photographer with a stricture
could not take a picture.
He just got madder,
with fuller bladder,
his thoughts only on a fixture.

Too hot to hold
Too hot to hold | Source

 

# 192 – Sweating debt

My creditors sure hound me,
but none have yet quite found me.
My phone stays hot.
I owe a lot.
Should I not pay soon, they’ll pound me.

"Totally pain free - the rest costs"
"Totally pain free - the rest costs" | Source

 

# 193 – Dentistry

Dentistry
is not for free.
Your wealth is compacted
as teeth are extracted.
It’s a strain of a pain, don’t you see?

  

Aerial view of the Pentagon
Aerial view of the Pentagon


# 194 – Pentagons have five sides

Never before
in the histories of wars
had there been so much fighting
or such fierce back-biting
as went on behind those closed doors.

"What's so doggoned funny?"
"What's so doggoned funny?" | Source

# 195 – Sir Prize

You’d never believe what I saw at the store–
a person so funny, I’ll laugh ‘til I’m sore–
dressed in green on the left and red on the right,
one glove with no fingers, a hat with a light.
Now I’ll hurt all the time. He just moved in next door.

"Ohhhh - my aching feet!"
"Ohhhh - my aching feet!" | Source

 

# 196 - Trade show duty

My feet are sore, my voice is raw.
The competition caused a draw.
There’s no need to mention
how bad this convention.
They’re the rule – rather yet – they're the law.

No place to dog-paddle
No place to dog-paddle | Source

# 197 – The drifter

My friend lived right there on the beach
with a gal who was really a peach.
A huge wave washed in once,
and watered the dunce,
floating him way out of reach.

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Comments 17 comments

jalawa03 profile image

jalawa03 5 years ago from Texas

Absolutely hilarious! I enjoyed reading them all.ci was engrossed up till the last line. Great read.


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

hahah!! This is a great hub humorous and I enjoyed it

excellent work ! THUMBS UP


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Jalawa - Thank you for your kind comment. Texas folks can always catch the smiles in things, right?

Gus:-)))


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

heheheh Gus SPOT ON!!! Leptir - means butterfly in Bosnian

(my fave creatures) ... and Ela is my name :)

so i put them together :)

hehehe.. And yes I enjoyed your hub its funny and moving :)


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi Leptirela - The name by which you write reminds me of the "scientific name" of butterflies (lepidoptera), useful workers in the garden and beautiful to see.

I am happy that you enjoyed those little limerick things. They can be fun to construct.

Gus :-)))


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Gus, I suspect you had as much fun writing these as all commenting, [me too] had reading them, have a great day, dusty


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Howdy 50 - You are exactly correct. I haven't had as much fun as this stuff since the last time I was on KP. :)

Gus :-)))


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Gus I hated KP, then, but looking back it wasn't so bad given other duties, dusty, 50


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

All your poems are right on the mark, Gus, but I did laugh out loud at the Drifter. That mental image of the dunce being washed out to sea was just too much!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Good Doctor bj - That one kind of made me smile a tad, too. Nothing like a reverse-tsunami to show a guy up, is there?

Gus :-)))


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

Haha...next time I go to the Houston Museum of Art I'll be thinking of your limerick. These are all clever. Rated up and definitely funny!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi Peggy - Thanks for the nice comment. I would argue with you somewhat, however, for these little things are just not pretty like your stuff always is. That's what happens when a Redneck tries to write and pop images into place - 5-liners featuring belly gas and the like.

Gus :-)))


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

All winners as usual Gus, faves:187,193 and 197. up n funny!


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

A foolish man lives on the beach, so the parable goes. Or maybe it's "a wise man never builds his house on sand." Anyhoo, really like the image of the debt-ridden person's phone staying "hot". That sure sums it up.

These are fun as always. I'll try not to stay away so long. I need me some dumb poems in my life! Cheers.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Doug - That phone image was just way too much to ignore.

Gus :-)))


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Gus-You've made my day with these great poems. I especially like "The Drifer." Thanks for the grea pics and poems and uplift.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

MT - Thank you, too. I was considering making your day over into wintertime once again, but reconsidered out of consideration for all of thos Minnesota mosquitoes (poor little dears would have frozen their stingers off!).

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    Gustave Kilthau (GusTheRedneck)561 Followers
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