Even My Dog Loves You
Open the door to your full on frontal view
The sun on your skin concocts a warm brew
The look in your eyes is something new
Even my dog idolizes you
Conversation feeds a slow philosophical chew
Cheap wine is turning the table taboo
Not dizzy enough to spin a wild rue
Even though my dog loves you
Taking my hand you pull me close to
Your eyes take me in enough to pass through
Whisper words that make me feel knew
Pick up the scent why my dog loves you
Feel strength in your arms touched by tattoo
Masculine surround I don't want to undo
Making me quiver for what could ensue
Feel why my dog idolizes you
Urgent lips touching mine form a coup
Chemicals heat what I thought I'd outgrew
Inexplicable forces the earth's axis askew
My dog now senses a rival in you
The mystery of someone new is difficult to turn away from. When I was young, it seemed that magic of another was my ticket to fulfillment. I equated walking away with cowardice. Not taking a chance was slamming the door on ever achieving happiness. But, with time, experience, mistakes and failures, the good, the bad and the ugly, I have learned that the responsibility for my personal happiness is mine. It is cowardice to put that power in the hands of another.
No man is an island. Connections to others are vital. The majority of our most memorable moments are shared. Sharing is instrumental for enjoying life, discovering ourselves and the fascinating differences that make up every human being. Sharing the good times and the bad enhances lifes meaning and value.
The past two-years have taught me a lesson in being humbled yet shaken alive by the surprises in life. This time has been my first experience, though, leveled through trying circumstances, of living on my own terms. I make my own choices with no one to blame but myself when things don't turn out the way I want. I go to bed or, some nights, I don't, but the choice is mine. I eat or not, according to how I feel. I read and watch what I choose. I wear what I want, I smile, if I feel moved to do so without the need for validation or explanation. I spent my youth trying to please everyone and lost myself. My fashion was critiqued to the point I needed help deciding what to wear in order to satisfy my partner's decision on what he wanted me to project or else I wasn't allowed to go. Bullies honed in, like weak-seeking missiles, and told me how to be me. Now, still standing, though a mere mortal, with all the inherent failings, I am happy living with my dog, who is demonstrative and non-judgemental in his abject love, no matter what I wear. And, though he is handsome and charming, it is his unconditional, exclusive love that no person has shown me, that makes me wary of fully engaging with another man. I reserve the rights to my heart. I don't long for more than I am capable of giving. And, by the token, every day is new and I also reserve the right to never say never. Such is the magic of life.