Poem - Alzheimers

Through My Father's Eyes

The moon drifts away
Pushed by the tide
It no longer reaches out to me
As the sea and moon collide
A conflict within love
There is nothing inside
There is nothing above
I'm a refugee of my mind
A time of change
Enter the new world
Unrecognized familiarity
Innocence unfurled
Don't take my freedom
I don't want to depend
Leave me alone
I need no friend
Where am I?
Who are you?
Who am I?
The answers are few
The memories are silent
The birds flutter away
My nest is quiet
Why must I leave this way?
There; a piece of paper
On it a story
Why must I read?
It is someone else's glory
What are these words?
Who do they speak of?
Why do I hear the birds?
Once again I feel their love
This person was alive
He was free
I love his life
I wish it was me
I can touch the paper
But not the life
Can anyone hear me?
Into my mind plunges the knife
Love dies last
Remembrance dies first
Love is all I have
It will quench my thirst
Love will overcome the darkness
Love will turn on the light
The disease only kills
Will love win the fight?
There is a power over me
I will not become the disease
I will not become your companion
I will not become you
I will fight you in death's canyon

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Comments 33 comments

aware profile image

aware 6 years ago from West Palm Beach Florida.

We seem to have similar subject matter interests . i have a hub titled "where?" About a father with Alzheimer's.

im enjoying reading your stuff nice to meet you

ray


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I need to read your piece. I have another that I will post later... thanks for taking the time on my site....


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

This is powerful.

A bit like Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night".

Alzheimers scares the hell outta me. I'll be 61 years old in about a week and check myself every time I fumble for a word or take a couple seconds to remember someone's name. Ah, I've always been lousy with names!

This was well done.

CP


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks Christopher... This one is real. My father has it and it's slowly taking him away from us. The bad thing is that while he is a fighter he has to remember what it is he's fighting each day which of course is the whole problem all over again. An endless loop of affirming who he is and what he is doing.

I'm like you but the fact that my Dad has it scares me even more. As for names it's funny because the other night I had a conversation with a new aquaintance and we kept going "what's your name again?" and we would then laugh about it....


pan1974 profile image

pan1974 6 years ago from Columbus,Ga

I really like this, I was thinking about writing something like that,but never did. If I didn't I knew some one would.Good it was you, because that's a great poem.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Pan.... I'm sorry I had to write it but I kept thinking about what he was going thru and you know us writer's have to type what we think....


Joy56 profile image

Joy56 6 years ago

i work with alzhimers patients every day, i am convinced the sons and daughters suffer far more, far more..... we look after the likes of your dad, and when you go home we see a different side of them, the survival instinct shines brightly... ha ha.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Joy - thank you. My father suffered during the transition to acceptance. Now he's like a child; he still has all his old memories and he knows who we are and what is happening to him. Yes I am suffering. I wrote this because he is a fighter and I think he wants to retain his identity because he is a very accomplished man full of pride...


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 6 years ago from South Carolina

Hi Suburban Poet,

Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem in which you so effectively put yourself inside the mind of a person suffering with Alzheimer's while trying to maintain independence and dignity.

After reading your replies to the comments I understood that your empathy comes from your love of your Dad and from his ongoing struggle with Alzheimer's.

Thanks for sharing this touching poem and the personal information about your father.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Happyboomer (OU?)...

Yes it is for my father who is slowly losing his memory... it's a sad state of affairs but he is still viable to a certain extent. He knows who we are but cannot remember what he did this morning. He has his long-term memory and it is there that we spend our time.


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

Voted Beautiful awesome and Up! great poem ^_^ sad but so true....


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Yes it is sad and true all at the same time... thank you Youngcurves for commenting... My Father is withering away but he still laughs with us...


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

Im a Cna and i see it every day...its so sad to watch them slip away from the past present and future...Im sorry about your dad! Im glad he still laughs and smiles


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

TThank you for caring... my father has always been a positive force in life and he still has that... he doesn't seem to forget his inner nature even though the facts of his day are constantly lost with his keys...


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

thats such a beautiful way of putting it...No matter how much they forget about the the past and present its true somehow they still remain them. And some things they have done EVERY day day after day they remember without realizing why its so familiar


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Maybe it's like muscle memory or something... my father is very ritualistic and that has not wavered one bit. It just dawned on me a few minutes ago (I'm obviously glad we are having this conversation) how a person in his state can maintain who he is while losing grip on what are many trivialities of life. It's when he cannot remember who I am when his outward focus will be lost at sea but in the meantime I can only hope he knows who he is on the inside.


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

Im glad we are too! Im glad he knows who he is atleast, its hard to loose the ones you love but loosing yourself is far worse....if you know no one else in the world atleast somewhere deep down inside you know your a good person some how some way you feel like you lived a good life


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

It has been difficult for him (as it would be for anyone) because he is a very wordly and accomplished man. He was an Olympian and has traveled the world over. He is a bon vivant and to see him lose his self-confidence was difficult; he became hapless and somewhat paranoid but we assured him that the things that were happening were real and that he needed to trust us and he accepted this so things have stabilized a bit.


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

as a Cna we were taught to help alzheimers from getting worse once in an early stage you ask him questions like "where were you born" "what year were you born" "What were your parents names" "are you the oldest child" "how many siblings do you have?" "did u attend preschool" you start from the beginning and work your way slowly to the present not skipping any stages of life,back tracking or asking to broad a question causing their mind to wander to a void of memories...one memory at a time ^_^ idk if that helps of not but God bless


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Yes that helps quite a bit... it also can prop up their confidence because his long term memory is still intact. By going through the past he can feel a connection to his life... I'll try that next time.. thank you for taking the time tonight on this....


Youngcurves19 profile image

Youngcurves19 6 years ago from Hawaii

Of course! write me and tell me how he is doing God bless you and your family


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I'll keep you posted... I have another poem about him that I've not "hubbed" yet... just kind of rolling them out one by one in between the new ones...

Have a good evening...


Pachuca213 6 years ago

I am terrified of Alzheimer's. My great grandmother on my mother's side suffered from it. Then my father's father suffered from dementia and my father's mother is slowly forgetting things too. I feel there is too much in my gene pool to avoid this mind debilitating disease. When my step father died of cancer it affected his mind to the point he forgot who I was, who my son and my mother was too, just like alzheimers. What a moving and sad poem but I enjoyed it and the fact that at the end you say you will fight it....wonderful


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Pachuca... I am also afraid. It's now in my family (and I have a long lost Aunt who had it) so I wonder if it is in my future. It is sad but he is still able to recognize everyone. I will see him tomorrow. There is fear for the future and how it will turn out for him but today we celebrate...


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I'm here in Laredo now (12/18/10) with my father and he is happy and doing well...


imranhaider 5 years ago

i want to share my poems hubs with you is there is nice stuf on my hubs or not .


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Aimranhaider - Thanks for commenting. I'll check out your stuff as soon as I can.


ChristianRecca profile image

ChristianRecca 5 years ago from Rutherford, NJ

I really enjoyed your poem, SuburbanPoet. You have a direct and powerful style that I appreciate. Too much poetry is overly complex and allusive nowadays. Your poem does what I think poems should do: it takes us inside the mind and, dare I say it, soul of another human being. Keep it up. I will be reading other stuff.

I hope you can take a look at my Hubs. I mostly write political stuff, but I have poetry and fiction online at other sites and will be posting stuff here soon, in case you are interested.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Hey Christian - sorry I took so long to respond. I truly appreciate your comments becauset his was a very personal thing for me. It's a true story and my father is suffering form this affliction. I needed to write about it... I have another called "Leave My Father Alone You Bastard" which as you can guess is me being pissed off about it all... take care and thanks again...


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

very excellent i like it much

Thanks for sharing ;)


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@ladyjojo - Thank you very much. This one is very personal to me so I appreciate your comments.


Joanie 5 years ago

This may be completely wrong, but I read it's more likely for people to get Alzheimers if their mother gets it rather than their father. Anyway, we have to live our life as it has been, as it is now and as it will be in the future. Enjoy each day!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Joanie - Well I hope that's true...

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