Family alcoholism drugs tobacco.
Not always an angel.
throughout my life,has been in stages
tension pressure,locked up in cages.
my mum was alcohol dependant,affected my thinking
i tried not to drink,raised a glass without blinking.
it killed her in the end,the curse of the drink
i had to re-evaluate,I really had to think.
i didn't want to end up dying like my Mum
through drinking all sorts,whisky and rum.
i was there when she collapsed,sent shivers down my spine
then I realised my life was not mine.
i had to grow up,had to become a man
most people disliked me,didnt have a fan
had to change opinions,what they see is the new me
not the bastard before,a better type to see.
its hard to alter a persons way of thinking
if all people seen before,was you constantly sinking.
its been a hard road,tried drugs and drink
not great experiences,the drugs made me think.
my family has a history,we all dabbled in many things
took some drugs that literally made you feel you had wings.
im glad it's passed,I'm now a family man
if I can change,im sure anyone can,
i write to express,vent and explain
its not for my own personal gain.
i don't expect money,just hope people can learn
from my experiences,it's a feeling I yearn.
if one person can be helped,the writing is worthwhile
im always learning,helping gives me a reason to smile.
if there's such a thing as a miracle,then this is mine.my wife came in to my life at a really bad time,and dragged me kicking and screaming to a new and better life.i often wonder what gutter or grave I'd be in if it wasn't for her meeting me.i was heading down a dark road without over exaggerating things.after the meeting of souls,then came my kids.one after another they generated feelings I'd never had before.each one made me a better man.as they grew,I grew with them,I had to,there's no room for errors with bringing kids up.they can be very unforgiving if you get something wrong.but heap praise on you when you get it right.theres not a feeling like it.
Mad days at the stove.
Make Or Break You.
kids make or break you,
turn you in to a man
they educate you rapidly,
like only they can.
they infuriate,test and fry your last nerve
now and again,this you may deserve.
communicating with my children
has been a barrel of fun
they have made me sit up
no chance I would ever run.
each day is glorious,trying,and new
had some bad days,thankfully only a few.
telling my made up stories
watch them engrossed
they are amazing kids
i cannot help but boast.
Proudest achievement to date.
With five girls ,it's inevitable we have had to deal with the occassional drama.I'm the typical overprotective Dad.if one of the girls has a boyfriend on the scene,they don't always tell me right away for fear of what I might think.i will always think any boy is not good enough for them,a typical Dad really.i can't help it.if I think they have been wronged by anyone at all,the red mist starts to decend,it's a protective feeling I imagine every Dad has if they have girls.i just need to control my feelings so I don't upset them too much.easier said than done,but I am learning more every day.kids teach you more than you actually realise.
Feelings well hid.
growing up my feelings were well hid
its a wonder I turned out as good as I did.
not always a loving environment,the occassional fight.
going to my bed early,another sleepless night.
mum and dad fighting,raised their voices
fall asleep afraid,didn't have many choices.
prayed it would stop,wake up fresh in the morning
if the house was quiet,usually a warning.
Mum sat quiet,Dad did aswell
who won the fight,difficult to tell.
drinking caused most fights,a really bad mix
unfortunately my Mum needed a fix,
had to have a drink,fought all her life
all through the story,great mother,loyal wife.
where I grew up,families having alcohol problems was a very normal thing.most parents liked a drink,a lot of parents liked to drink a bit too much sometimes.drink for most was a good way to escape their pressures and tensions.a bit of escapism.a family with an alcoholic living with them was a normal accepted thing.no one ever looked for help,it was very definitely a matter dealt with internally within the family.there was not a lot of help for treatment of alcoholism then,today's medical help us fantastic with trying to help the affected person,and helping the long suffering family aswell,there is a lot of organisations now that deal with the effects of the alcohol curse.i can't help but think,if some of the help was available back then,possibly my Mum may still be alive.unfortunately ,now I will never know.
when I was growing up,drugs were not a big issue then.any problems families had were generally down to alcohol.the words junkie ,methadone,speed,crack,were never uttered.if anyone had a drug issue,or were an addict,you never heard anythjng about it.kids and families now have to deal with their Mums or Dads being addicted to drugs.im not sure if our problems during childhood were worse or better than modern day families.they just seem to have more issues to deal with every day if they are on drugs of any sort.where I stay is working class,drugs and people dying through overdosing sadly is an everyday occurrence.family lives destroyed by drugs,kids left without a parent,due to their addiction to drugs.its a never ending vicious circle that too many families are forced to endure every day.and there's no apparent cure in sight now or in the near future.
Family means everything.
not so long ago a member of the UK Parliament suggested families with a parent on drugs should be forced to do a drug rehab ,on the understanding that ,if it was not successful,they would lose their kids.im not sure this is the best way forward.taking someones kids of off them would just pilr more pressure on them,and probably send them straight to the dealers door.if they managed to stay clean and drug free,they would be subjected to weekly testing for drugs,to ensure they stay clean.this was also under the threat that,if they lapsed back in to drugs,they would again have their kids taken from them again.drugs clearly are a big issue today.its a subject that needs serious consultation with experts,to get their brains working to get a solution that can kick the drug habit for good from society as a whole.