Farting is funny!

Robin Anderson Photography

This hub is a divination from photography, but I thought I would share anyway.

When my children were young they would beg me to tell funny stories. I quickly discovered that one of their favorite subjects was about farting... "Mom, tell us a funny story" really meant Mom, tell us a fart story. So, here is one of their favorites.

When I was about 10 years old, I was would get up very early for swim practice. I would quietly get my things together and get outside as quickly as possible to not wake the rest of the house while I waited from my ride.

I should preface this by explaining that I am the daughter of a very proper father. I can honestly say that I have never heard my father fart (okay once by accident). As a little girl, I was taught to "go to the bathroom if you have to do that ". We didn't even say the word "fart".

Anyway, on this particular morning, I got outside and waited on the doorstep in our foyer in the dark. Within a few minutes, I felt the "urge". Yep, there were rubblings. I weighed my options... hold it in like a lady, or throw caution to the wind. I can still remember the dialog in my mind, "Oh, what the heck Robin... let it rip. Nobody is awake in the house and your standing outside. Who could it hurt?"

I recall that once I decided to throw caution to the wind, I also decided I was going to do it right. I clinched my fists, tilted my hips back and pushed the gas out with all that I was worth. It felt good! It felt freeing... I was farting! Nanoseconds after I was reaping the rewards of that feeling, I became aware of the sound! It was like a trumpet... no - more like a canon! I was sure the windows on the front door rattled.

Should I go back inside and check to see if I woke anyone up? No, I decided to ride it out. If somebody wasn't downstairs in the next few minutes asking if I too had heard the sonic boom, then I had pulled it off.

I began laughing! And I laughed until I cried. Then, another thought crossed my mind. I have to share this with someone. I was sure I had just set the world record on the decibel meter and the Richter scale all at the same time. But who would believe me? I felt a wave of sadness come over me. I had just pulled off the loudest fart of (what I was sure would be) my entire life, and nobody was around to hear it.

So, that is my childrens favorite fart story. Put that away for a rainy day!

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Comments 8 comments

Robin Anderson profile image

Robin Anderson 5 years ago from United States Author

Lol, I am a little embarrassed still by this story... Thanks, Chasing Riley!

Chasing Riley profile image

Chasing Riley 5 years ago from Los Angeles

Cute! My kids like farts too :)

Robin Anderson profile image

Robin Anderson 5 years ago from United States Author

Thamks James -- I love how Hubpages has "Greeters". Nice to be welcomed!

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

I love your very funny story. Welcome to the HubPages Community, my fellow Michigander!

Robin Anderson profile image

Robin Anderson 5 years ago from United States Author

Thanks thelyricwriter - your comment is appreciated.

thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 5 years ago from West Virginia

Robin, I have to credit you for writing this and it earned my vote. I was deciding what to read and figured I needed a good laugh. Like you said, farting is funny. Well worth the laugh and quite the memory.

Robin Anderson profile image

Robin Anderson 5 years ago from United States Author

Hahaha... Renee is my sister

Renee Ryan 5 years ago


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