Fauntleroy and Flossy – The Billionaires Club

Behind closed doors, Fauntleroy is in a meeting with Betsy DeFlossed. The position of Secretary of Education needs to be filled. She was offered up as the only selection from the RNC.

“What makes you uniquely qualified for this job? Everyone I spoke to speaks so highly of you,” Fauntleroy puts down his Crème de menthe.

She leaned forward, “What I know is – Why educate them. I mean, look at them. We spend money and send them all to school and just look what comes out on graduation day. They don’t read; they can’t write,” she paused and sat back. “Besides, we no longer need an educated population. So many of the jobs have gone away, we don’t even know what to do with the people here now. I say, educate our children, yours and mine, they are the future leaders of the world. Hand pick the future managers for what work is left. Hand the labor to the Chinese and the population of India. Let’s dismantle the public school system.” She smiled, knowing that is what Fauntleroy and his handlers want to hear.

“What is that going to do to the University system?” He took another sip, “I went to the best business school in the world. The best, none better, I mean a really good one.”

“It will drive down the prices, who do those people think they are anyway. Universities are still teaching Latin for heaven sakes. In our day there were no designated party schools churning out $120,000 degrees. So what if half the universities close down! You know what scams universities are, now don’t you?”

At that moment, Flossy knocked and walked into the room. “Sorry Darling, but there is a phone call, he sounded upset.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know Darling. He said something about the four horsemen of the Annapolis.” She smiled, turned and walked out.

Fauntleroy watched her go. “She is a really, really good person, one of the best persons. I wonder if she wants to be Secretary of Education?” He stood and extended his arm – “I’ll let you know.”

“For the masses, boys and girls five through twelve, they should receive military training. We are going to need lots of soldiers in this new world we are going to build together. Soldiers are cheaper than scholars.” DeFlossed stood, took the offered hand, shook and walked out the door. “Teachers will be begging us on their knees for jobs when I am through with them.”

Fauntleroy rubbed his fingers around his hand to push away the icy feeling she left. Flossy entered as the DeFlossed left. “Darling, this is such an easy thing, just change the law that says kids have to go to school. The schools will be empty in no time at all. Besides, they would rather watch Duck Dukedom and Naked and Scared on TV and call it home schooling.” She turned and left.

Fauntleroy grabbed his gold encased phone and Tweeted, ‘No schools, no schools, you fools, you fools. #TheRealFauntleroy” Then he put his phone away.

Flossy popped her head back in the door. “Darling, pick up the phone, the one on the desk. Please.” She left.

Fauntleroy was disturbed, he wanted to Tweet again. He walked to the phone and grabbed it. “Fauntleroy.” He listened.

“Yes, I got it Bangladesh is quite a mess, and Marrakech is in distress and Illinois with civil unrest, but here and now, I must confess, none of this will stand in the way of my success. Oppress, oppress!!”

He set the phone back in its cradle, grabbed his gold phone and Tweeted, ‘Oppress, oppress. Who did you vote for Baby? #TheRealFauntleroy’

That night in The Towers, Fauntleroy sat at the bedside of Red B., “Son, is this a great country or what? When I started all I had was fourteen million dollars, but I scrapped and clawed my way through life. I made good deals and more good deals. You are never going to have to come up the hard way like I did. When done here, we will have another billion dollars under our control. You will not have to suffer like I suffered.” He leaned over and kissed his son goodnight.


He walked out and over to the Royal Suite where Flossy waited for him. “Oh, Darling, you look so tired. Come here, let me rub your shoulders.”

“Remind me to get Model T to see if we have hotels in Bangladesh and Marrakech and Illinois for that matter. I never worked so hard. Red B did not seem happy this evening. Anything wrong there?”

“No Darling, what could be wrong? Let’s get some sleep.” She reached over and turned the light out in the 2,000 sq ft sleeping quarters.


Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. The resemblance to characters living or dead is coincidental, inconsequential, incremental, and purely consequential. No billionaires were hurt during the writing of this fictitious story, written by a fictitious author, about the fictitious situation. If Fauntleroy and Flossy have offended you in any way or caused the corners of your mouth to move either North or South, well, then good.

This work is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. Continue your selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors regime, as prescribed by your Obamacare Physicians. Stock up on your Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Paxil, Lexapro. Acapulco Gold, Panama Gold, Black Russian, Texas Tea, Indo, Maui Wowie, Thai stick, Mexican, and Colombo. If the condition persists consult your dealer.

The definition of defamation is a communication that harms the reputation of another, since any reputation living or dead, is fictional the laws of defamation does not apply. A reputation can only go so low. I am not responsible for reputations other than my own.

End disclaimer

Find your 8 Tracks and Cassettes, dig through the garage for the players. Reacquaint yourself with the Grateful Dead.

The song This Land Is Your Land rang out from the blue phone. Fauntleroy rolled to his side, closed his eyes and fell into an undisturbed sleep.

Caught in a Trap

Woody Guthrie-This Land Is Your Land

© 2016 mckbirdbks

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Comments 24 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 days ago from Southern Illinois

Oh no, he's not going to build in Illinois? This is hilarious and so close to the scary truth. I played bingo at the VFW last night and won 25 bucks, I was ' gonna ' blow it, but I guess I'd better save it for food. I see really hard times coming to America. Oh yes, I guess I'd better get my Ativan refilled while we still have drug stores. I'm laughing out loud at this funny satire...


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Ruby - Thank you. I did add some Elvis so you could feel a little better about reading this light satire about our political performance or dilemma. Are you seeing the puppet-heads? It's Howdy Dooty time again in living rooms near us all.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 days ago from Southern Illinois

I came back and listened to both videos. Of course every song Elvis sings is as good as it gets. Woody's song is about hard times, I guess in the 20's. I wonder if we little people will see this again? Trump is pulling strings and the bobble heads are dancing!!!!!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 8 days ago from South Africa

I recognised my country's youth in here, and the comments of our Fauntleroy behind closed doors. (Thank heavens, someone with brains writes his speeches and can't take responsibility for the nonsense old Fauntleroy adds as he reads along.)

Your dialogues shine in this episode!

Thanks for the laugh, Mck!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Ruby indeed, Washington is doing the booble head dance. (I think you invented a new dance.) I suspect the worst, as the puppets take the stage.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Martie - Glad I could provide a smile or laugh. History is full of 'the rise and fall' of countries all over the planet. The political enemy lists are likely being dusted off and reviewed. There will be no shortage of material for a series such as this, but maybe a shortage of energy.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 8 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

Lol. Betsy DeFlossed. That dialogue is precious. And -- " When I started all I had was fourteen million dollars, but I scrapped and clawed my way through life. I made good deals and more good deals. You are never going to have to come up the hard way like I did. When done here, we will have another billion dollars under our control. You will not have to suffer like I suffered.” (And all of the business entrees his father gave him into the NY real estate market...priceless.) I can't stop laughing at this parody, Mike. And I am still chuckling at how Trump is "draining the swamp" with his Cabinet choices. (Goldman Sachs and Wall Street must be thrilled.) He is, sadly, as predictable as the sunrise. I think this is one of your best. I am tapping my feet to the Elvis tune....


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 8 days ago from Jeffersonville PA

SSRIs and Maui Wowie aside, I am getting an extra kick out of your weekly disclaimers.

Your droll side is alive and kicking ... I can understand the need for such spacious sleeping quarters.

My mouth seems to be going north, south, east and west at once - so thanks for that. Hugs, mar


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Genna, I think we have a case here of sharks in a barrel. I don’t think I can do them any harm. I am going to have to work on the ‘draining the swamps’ issue – there must be something there. As for Goldman Sachs, it can only be topped if he tapped Sarah Palin, for Veterans Affairs –(: Trump is not even a Veteran.) Glad you found time to smile. I have another episode done. By Saturday, this one would have been old news.

We may indeed be 'Caught in a Trap'


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hi mar – I am having more fun with the disclaimers, than in writing the episode. There is so much news, (auto correct wants to change news to noise,) that writing the episode is taking very little time.

Now, I will admit, I have learned a lot more about the names of marijuana than I knew before. In my day, it was just ‘grass.’ Nothing designer about it that I was aware of.

I have tried to hide my droll side from you all, not sure you were or are ready for it. My right leaning brother seems to have stopped talking to me.

Thanks for the visit. I do have a The Carriage Driver 3 story ready for Friday and the words The Carriage Driver 3 at the top of a blank page waiting.

Maybe The Carriage Driver should be moved to Washing D.C. and sit around like the Maytag repair man with nothing to do.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 8 days ago from TEXAS

It's so clever and appropriate, and well-done, Mike. But, - sorry, - I cannot really think it funny. The situation is so totally tragic, surely the most tragic inner tragedy that's ever happened to my country. It goes beyond absurd, and loops back to devious and tragic.

Maybe I've watched too much CNN, but I was alarmed from the first moment that man entered the races, and have followed it closely ever since, primarily in order to catch and to know with my own ears and eyes the actual words uttered by the candidates, and actions done by them and now, by the nearly president and people he's choosing to BE the reality of government with him. The media political editorializing comes with the watching, and often adds some facts. But it's the actual words and deeds of the man which continue to be all too much proof of my worst fears in the making and building up to the reality. I shudder.

By the way, my daughter unfriended me on FB, simply because I posted a petition to repeal the Electoral College. She's so Trump-leaning, it came to that.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 7 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

Hi Nellieanna...

I have gotten some very cold shoulders since I published the letter to David Gergen hub; they viewed it as "anti-Trump." ( I do not feel this way, and respect others' opinions. We can agree to disagree without jeopardizing relationships.) I only hope the ice thaws.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Nellieanna – I am sure your family loves and cherishes you. My that I mean your daughter will come around, and quickly.

As for my humor, I am the most funny when I am serious. Yes, this is a serious situation. The Presidency has been damaged. The Supreme Court has been made illegitimate by the Republicans refusing to do their jobs. Basically the fabric of America has been torn by the self interest of a party that has full control of the government.

Now, you can see why I am leaning toward humor rather than facts.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Good morning Genna. Soon enough those that have offered you a cold shoulder will come around to your way of thinking. Once the population realizes we are in the same leaky boat the rhetoric will shift. Have a great weekend. Is it Friday yet?


billybuc profile image

billybuc 7 days ago from Olympia, WA

"I mean a really good one!" God, that sounded like a politician I have seen a lot lately. Very, very witty and I think a bit sarcastic. :) Great read, Mike.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Bill. Yes, someone that we have seen far too much of this past year. The dam has burst. Thanks for the visit.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 7 days ago from Dallas, Texas

Just dropped in to see what condition your condition was in. And as Forrest said, "That's all I have to say about that."


always exploring profile image

always exploring 7 days ago from Southern Illinois

Hi Mike. I can relate to Genna losing followers, the same thing happened to me. It's so silly. I just do not read anything that I disapprove of and I certainly do not leave an unkind remark. My son, Jack is a Trump person, and I didn't disown him. ( But I thought about it. ) lol


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello my friend Peg - As you can see for yourself, my condition is dry with a forecast of humor.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Ruby - History teaches plenty of lessons. We are all going to have to see what is written about this chapter here in the U.S. You love your family, and they love you. I have a few 'questionable' family members as well.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 7 days ago

Dear Mike, Betsy DeFlossed can't help the boss, the boss

Fauntleroy should have interviewed Bo Jangles

Who actually dumbed down the residents of his state

By closing all public schools

So dumb, they did not vote for him

The fools, the fools

Fauntleroy is turning the swamp into a cesspool

*

*

I love this series, please keep it going

Blessings my dear friend.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 6 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Shy.

You know what they say:

Red sky in morning

Americans take warning

.

Vultures are flying

sun at their backs

the American way

is under attack

.

The Reds, delegitimized

the Supreme Court

With an aim to close

the right to abort

.

It is clear, to these guys

the rules don't apply

As long as they gain

as their souls have gone dry


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 6 days ago from North America

We live in surreal times: "fictitious story, written by a fictitious author, about the fictitious situation....and fictional laws of defamation..." Too bad I'm allergic to drugs.

I did not appreciate my cousin Elvis much when he was alive, but he is sounding better all the time now, compared to reality. :)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 6 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas Author

Hello Patty - In my day (yikes) Elvis began to lose ground as the Beatles revolution took hold of the youth of the country. Now an Elvis movie seems so innocent and casual. The world, 'was young' and innocent compared to the darkness of today. I would like to think the torch has been passed to the next generation, but looking at the mountain the next generation is facing I think the best is not yet to come.

Just the other day I heard a financial talking head say, 'Billionaires were squeezing out millionaires.' What a world.

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