Faux Noir: Poem

I’m weary of false darkness.

The shrill lament of lost loves,

You’re better off without them,

Yet you march on like a cheap parade

Pedantic romantic rot…

True darkness isn’t pretty,

Nor is anguish.

It’s being stronger,

Stronger than you ever wanted to be;

It’s a torment you long to escape.

Not a melancholy pose.

It’s that angry crow inside you,

The angry Goddess who won’t sleep,

The fierce XX which society denies.

She’s strong, indomitable;

She doesn’t have the luxury of tears;

Tears won’t come.

I open one eye,

One eye to look at this world

Then look away.

Put on the smile…

Pretend

It’s that one single moment,

That moment when you realize,

Realize that life is unalterably brutal.

Looking longingly for a moment,

A moment at the smiling soccer mom,

That mom in her suburban tomb;

She waves and smiles,

Smiles as she hastens towards home;

Her cookies may burn.

Yes, I know darkness…

I had no choice.

It came to me. I invoked it not,

Yet still it came.

I raise a wing,

Just one wing & it is strong,

Too strong.

The other wing remains down,

Down against my back.

I dare not release that wing

The wind rustles…

And then… silence.

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Comments 18 comments

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

It's often said not to reveal your under belly for the softness will be crushed by invaders of the soul. I sense your darkness and expression of anger, yet it's beauty surfaces with your imagery.

I to have hidden my soul for fear of it being exposed and trampled upon. Now I don't hide my thoughts, I am an open book of lives experienced from my past and my past was filled with crows wanting to eat my flesh. Bravo, well done....rated up and awesome.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Thank you Saddlerider,

Your kind and thoughtful words speak to the heart.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Beautiful. I love your imagery. I'm not sure how "Faux" your noir is, however, as Film Noir deals with these feelings. I know as I am a big fan of film noir.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Thank you for you comment. You may have a point about the title. I struggled with what to use as a title. Perhaps I should reconsider. Anyway, thank you again.


George J Hardy profile image

George J Hardy 5 years ago from Southern New Jersey

it takes real guts to " open" the other eye and challenge the darkness, many have done just that; silence, waits for the wing to flutter... and it will...if you will let it.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

A very intuitive and eloquent response, George. Thank you.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I like that Flora tends to wonder how faux your noir really is, but it is in the sense that your strong wing is taking the fall and keeping you going. And George is right, when you can, your other eye will open and the other wing will put faux in it's place. Beautifully written.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Thank you, Kat. I'm no poet, but I was so upset at work the other night that I had to just get it out of my system.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Several things I write are a reaction to how I'm feeling. It really helps you let go of tension to share, too.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Yes, it does, and for some reason, I can share in this venue in ways I can't in person. Thank you, Flora, for your observation. It is correct.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I guess I'm a firm believer that there is a writer, a poet, an artist of some sort in all of us. I also believe in standing for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone. Embrace the positive side of the seconds you get. Have you thought of making blogs? You can make them public or private, depending on what your moods and feelings call for. Think about it. Do what you need to get the rest you need. I'll be thinking of you. -Kat


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Thank you, kat...you always know what to say.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..you are such a terrific writer and words are your best friends because you really know how to use them in such an artful way ......and I am so sorry for you and your dear mother , my mum was my best friend and she made me the man that I am today - better to have had this love because some people were not as fortunate.

lake erie time 5:03pm on a national holiday here in Canada


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Oh, Epi,

I'm about to go into a 12 hour shift at work, and bummed. You made my day! Thank you.


Nefarious_Misery profile image

Nefarious_Misery 5 years ago from on the move

I know much of that darkness that lies just beneath the surface, and I have embraced it.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to read my poem "The Break Up". Might strike a chord similar to this piece.

Voted up and beautiful.

And you have also earned yourself a new follower with your brilliantly written work.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

Nefarious,

What a lovely comment. Of course I will read your poem. I am honored that you asked.


Binaya.Ghimire 5 years ago

I have read your hubs on social issue, politics, religion and also poetry. I find you very skilled and talented writer.


BukowskiBabe profile image

BukowskiBabe 5 years ago from Somewhere in the middle of it all. Author

You're too kind, B. Thank you. I have noted that you always have something positive to say, and you strive to empower others. You're a good soul.

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